Want to meet someone

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I am a 26 year old female living in Dublin and I am pretty lonely after not meeting anyone.

I have plenty of friends and go out and socialise regularly with them but I never find the right guy. I know with the pubs and club scene your not not going to find anything serious. To be honest the one night stand scene is not for me.

I have looked into a few clubs in my area and there mostly sport related (which I dont particularly like). Others would be music etc which I have never done. I have looked into online websites but I dont really like the thought of them and security.

I am quite a shy girl, who lacks in confidence but would love to meet someone who I could be myself around.

Does anyone have any tips in meeting someone? Any advice is much appreciated.

LegacyUser

I'd suggest trying out online dating again, it's honestly not as weird/scary as a lot of people can make out and it's a pretty popular way for people to meet these days.

You'd be surprised by the amount of nice genuine guys and girls you can find, of course there's going to be weirdos and creeps too but it's usually pretty easy to sort the potential prince charmings from the paedophiles.

With online dating you can get a taste for people's personalities to see if they're your cup of tea or not before meeting them. If you're worried about security and that when you do meet them, most people would do it in public so you're pretty safe that way.

I'd definitely try out www.okcupid.com and give it a go, you can always delete your profile after, nothing to lose!

I'm a 24 year old, fairly shy girl myself and I met my current boyfriend of 2 years on there.

CommanderC

Hey,

Could you try speed dating ? Go with a friend for moral support or maybe a class or course.

I assure you, you are not the only one who finds the pub and club scene difficult. Plus you are only 26 !!

skooterblue2

you missed a great show on dating in Grainne Seoiges Modern Ireland shown on RTE a few weeks back.

Tag Rugby is getting really popular but you dont have the full contact (and associated injuries of ordinary rugby). Its great as it attracts a young professional crowd. Its some thing like €16 for the official short and there is a great after party social scene associate with it.

mikemac1

Stroll over to the The Gentlemans Club forum

Huge thread about online dating
Every question you could have, they have it covered

Not just for the gentlemen, lots of ladies posting in that thread

So then you just need to sign up

Daisy78

mikemac1 wrote: »

Stroll over to the The Gentlemans Club forum

Huge thread about online dating
Every question you could have, they have it covered

Not just for the gentlemen, lots of ladies posting in that thread

So then you just need to sign up

But what are the alternatives to online dating if you don't want to go down that route? I'm a 34 year old single female, would like to meet somebody but not through online dating, just not comfortable with idea. It seems to be the only solution people have to singledom these days, surely there must be alternatives? I should point out that a few of my friends tried it and none of them would recommend it:(

mikemac1

http://www.macra.ie/

Not just for farmers!

Table quizzes, barbecues, dinner dances, information meetings, mystery coach tours, something for everyone

skooterblue2

Daisy78 wrote: »

would like to meet somebody but not through online dating, just not comfortable with idea. It seems to be the only solution people have to singledom these days, surely there must be alternatives? I should point out that a few of my friends tried it and none of them would recommend it:(

Internet dating is not a simple mix and match. You are not dealing with lego blocks, you are dealing with complex people. The more you do it and the more people you meet and talk to the more skills you and vibes you pick up. If a facebook account doesnt appear fairly quickly or dates get broken or you dont meet friends. It MAY raise a red flag, on the other hand it may be nothing.

You certainly wont get any second dates if you dont go on the first one. I have done it, its a learning curve and you wont get any better dates than in the pubs and pubs but you will be in touch with more people than your conventional pool.

Gillo

It's not just girls OP, I'm a guy in the same boat. From experience the online dating can be good I'm met a few people on it one serious relationship out of it, back single again a good while and thinking about trying it again.

Clubwise, it really depends on your interests, what do you enjoy doing?
I for example love mountaineering and joined a club, one of the lads actual spent half a hour pointing out all the singles to me. I never ended in a relationship with anyone in the club but made a few great friends and I do know of a few couples who met through it.
I've heard that libraries of all places are meant to be great for meeting people, it seems chatting about books is a great ice breaker.

There's also a few singles nights around Dublin, I've never gone so can't first hand say yeah or neah, what have you got to lose though??? (actually that's a bit of a retolhorical question back at myself!)

snafuk35

I am a 26 year old female living in Dublin and I am pretty lonely after not meeting anyone.

You live in a city full of men. There is no reason why you can't meet men if you make an effort.

I have plenty of friends and go out and socialise regularly with them but I never find the right guy

What is the right guy? Do you have a picture of the perfect man and men who don't shape up to some fantasy don't get a look in? Are you not giving enough men a chance? It's difficult for many men to approach women in the first place if you must know. If you make it too hard they will talk to women who are more open, approachable and friendly.

I know with the pubs and club scene your not not going to find anything serious.

How do you know that? Right away you are crossing off a whole avenue of opportunity. Have you noticed groups of good looking men who are standing around looking miserable or who walk out of the club at closing time without any women? Have you ever considered that maybe you should make the first move? Perhaps these guys are looking for someone serious too and they never get the chance?

To be honest the one night stand scene is not for me.

If you like a guy then spend the night with him. He could be the love of your life or else you might have a lot of fun.

I have looked into a few clubs in my area and there mostly sport related (which I dont particularly like).

You want to meet people which is your real motive. So just pretend to like the sport. Lots of people just go along because they really want to just meet people.

Others would be music etc which I have never done.

So do it. Music is great. Why be so cautious?

I have looked into online websites but I dont really like the thought of them and security.

Lots of people use websites. If you are worried about security how do you expect to open up to someone, get to know them and start a relationship? You have the shutters down from the get go. Arrange to meet in a public place, go for a coffee and talk. If you don't like the guy make your excuses and walk away.

I am quite a shy girl, who lacks in confidence but would love to meet someone who I could be myself around.

If you want to be yourself and be confident - just let go. Stop caring what other people think and do what you want. You like men, you want men and you want to live. So go and do it right now.

Does anyone have any tips in meeting someone? Any advice is much appreciated.

No matter where you are, if you are nipping into a shop for some milk or if you are out for a walk or if you are on a night out with your friends and you see a guy who looks nice, then why not go over and say hello and make your interest obvious? That's how you meet someone.

Lorna123

There are also a lot of night classes that start in September. The more things you join the better chances you have. It is not something that happens straight away, it has to be worked at. Join as many classes as you can.

mtjm

To lovelessgirl I'm like your self can be shy etc.. and not into sports it can be hard to meet the right woman in these places, speeddating is good and so is some dating sited, anyhow if you like could you pm me when you log in (take it you have an account with boards) and we can chat? I'm in my 30s btw

skooterblue2

Lorna123 wrote: »

There are also a lot of night classes that start in September. The more things you join the better chances you have. It is not something that happens straight away, it has to be worked at. Join as many classes as you can.

Night classes work the opposite way. If you are looking for a guy... the guys usually take cooking, girls usually take care maintenance. So I have been told. I did computer programming and Factory maintenance and it was full of guys.

johnjoe7

mtjm wrote: »

To lovelessgirl I'm like your self can be shy etc.. and not into sports it can be hard to meet the right woman in these places, speeddating is good and so is some dating sited, anyhow if you like could you pm me when you log in (take it you have an account with boards) and we can chat? I'm in my 30s btw

Desperation at it's finest.

Taltos

johnjoe7 wrote: »

Desperation at it's finest.

johnjoe7 - you have earned yourself a months ban for this nugget.
Please either follow our charter or don't post.

Thanks
Taltos

LegacyUser

I would just add that if you do go down the night classes, clubs, societies route (which I think is a great idea), I also think it's important to try to cultivate a genuine interest and enthusiasm for the subject or activity. Enthusiasm and dedication are very attractive traits in themselves, and in my own personal experience romance tends to appear more easily when not sought out head-on. And having mutual interests can only help a relationship in the future.

A language class might be a good idea, if you're interested in learning a new one, as you get a good mix of people, there's a very rewarding payoff at the end, and its virtually guaranteed that everyone in the class will end up speaking to one another at some stage as part of practice exercises.

skooterblue2

Charities and Non profit groups are a great group of people. The people who usually join are usually charitable and Dont work for their won benefit. they could be a great crowd to tap into....

There are sooo many and soo many ones that are deserving it can be hard to choose. Becareful of Personal development classes and Bible study groups though. My favourite being DS Max as opposed to the massive retail discount chain.

LegacyUser

Daisy78 wrote: »

But what are the alternatives to online dating if you don't want to go down that route? I'm a 34 year old single female, would like to meet somebody but not through online dating, just not comfortable with idea. It seems to be the only solution people have to singledom these days, surely there must be alternatives? I should point out that a few of my friends tried it and none of them would recommend it:(

Agreed. Internet dating is inherently flawed. Its such an unnatural way to meet somebody, its like a weird hybrid between a cattlemarket and a job interview. It just seems so ineffective, and soul destroying, the online dating thread over in the gentlemans club is probably the most depressing thing you'll ever read. And I have tried internet dating, so I know from personal experience how bizarre and ultimately how futile it is. I know people who've tried it aswell and they just end up worse off for the experience. There has to be a better way, it cant come down to if you're single you have no alternative but to suffer the indignity of internet dating/speed dating/singles nights or joining a club in the hopes that you'll meet another single person who isnt completely dysfunctional. My mate whos a musician did a gig a few weeks ago at a singles night and he said it was bleak, he told me that he was never so glad to be married. If people wann internet date than thats their choice but there has to be an alternative for the people who dont wanna go down that route. Something natural, uncontrived and above all dignified.