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Friday Funnies

  • 13-07-2012 9:02am
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭


    I just got sacked from my job with the Samaritans.

    A guy called Abdul phoned and said, "I'm lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come".

    I said, "Remain calm and stay on the line".

    __________________________

    A Bloke sits in his armchair shouts to his wife,

    "When I die I’m going to leave everything to you love"

    She shouts back

    “You already do you lazy bastard!!”

    __________________________

    The Traffic Warden's funeral

    As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral a voice from inside screams:-

    "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!!!"

    The Priest smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:

    "Too late pal, the paperworks already done."

    __________________________

    I said to my wife, "Are your knees swollen?"

    She replied, "No they're fine."

    "Well I'm guessing you're not wearing a bra then?"

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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