Finding Yourself

LindsayLotz

How do you find yourself? What does it mean to find yourself?


I think I am very confused in life, I thought I was going to follow my 'perfect' path - school, good grades, university, good career job. I was one of those people who would imagine the white picket fence Married with kids, grow old, live happily ever after.

I'm not naive in thinking it would be easy to get that life, and of course relationships take effort and need to be meaningful. But now, fresh out of college, I am really confused about what to do. I don't want a career job so early in life and so soon after graduating. I want to travel, experience things, meet new people. The modern 'perfect' path I guess.

I need to be my own person and learn how to be independent, but how? Where do I begin?

boomtown123

In the same boat - well nearly still have a thesis to finish . I suppose its a matter of just getting up and doing what you want. You say you want to

travel, experience things, meet new people

, then why not do this?

You will learn to be your own person and be independent as you go along.

Best of Luck

puffishoes

I personally think the term "finding yourself" is a load of old tosh.

go and experience as much as possible discover what you like and do as much of it as often as possible and enjoy yourself and don't waste time sitting around thinking about silly questions like "who am i"

wylo

Forget about perfect paths, theres no such thing, just because your local society tells you one something is supposed to happen a certain way doesnt mean it is.

If society told you to travel for 10 years, be unemployed for 5, not get a proper job till your 40 and married till your 50, then that would be the perfect path.

And its incredibly saddening to see people lost in there verision of what they think they are supposed to be doing and not happy as a result (dont get me wrong if they are living the "perfect" path and are happy then theres no issue obviously)

I say go travel, you're not gonna find yourself ever, there is no self. Its just a notion, its not any one feature or outstanding thing that will ever tell you who you are. Now that said, you may eventually find something you love doing, and it will feel right.

daisybelle2008

I totally agree with Wylo & Puffishoes on this. This idea of a 'perfect path' & 'finding yourself' really is a nonsense man-made fiction.

The best 'path', is to be Happy regardless or in spite of your circumstances not because of them. I believe 'finding yourself' is actually just liking your self enough that you don't care what happens or what people think, you can be happy and content in any situation that life brings (i.e Now and not some time in the future when an imagined set of circumstances occur).

Believing a set of external & material circumstances are going to allow you to live 'happily ever after' is actually a route to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Are you supposed to live 'unhappily ever after' if you don't marry, have kids, get a great exam result, good career or travel enough?

Daisy M

If you make choices and they make you happy then you are doing the right thing for you. If there are things in your life that are making you unhappy or unsure you have to work on them until you either change your circumstances or reconcile yourself that this is the hand life has dealt you and find a way of coping with it.

LindsayLotz

Thanks for all your responses, they are really a great help. I guess I am just confused because I thought I wanted a great job/career, etc and the other day, I realised I don't care about owning a house, or having a fancy car, or owning lots of nice things. It's like I don't care about all those things which I thought I did. Now I care about travelling, meeting people, seeing the Northern Lights/Grand Canyon/the Pyramids, whatever...I wanna explore and have good memories. I always only thought about the long term picture, saving money, but I never lived for today, in the moment. If I died tomorrow, what would my life show?

I have decided I'm definitely gonna travel soon, maybe couchsurf and hitch hike the world

wylo

I like your style, great choice