Re-marry?

Ellsbells

Just wondering if people, who had a broken marriage / divorce behind them, would ever marry again? If not, why not?

I got married again after my first marriage broke up, it was 11 years after I separated I got married again because I was asked and because it was very important to my now husband that we get married and make a public commitment. However I know a woman who has been in a very committed relationship for 17 years and she has her own house and so dose he, she just says she would never marry again not after the first time her partner was keen that they live together but after all this time he accepts her wishes both their children ( from their fist marriages ) are grown up at this stage. She is still adamant that she wants to live on her own....so what I am saying is that each situation is different.

Getting there

I think it would depend on why the first marriage broke down. It can be very hard to trust again after being hurt. Or one might just think there is no need to marry again to prove commitment....its one of those things that is a very personal choice.

seenitall

Nope. Been there, done that, and it's way too much hassle when things go belly up.

OakeyDokey

I'd need to be in the situation to know, people are all different so it depends.

I would definitely be a lot more cautious doing it a second time though.

pinkpigs

I'm seperated and eligable to divorce next year, although I think I'm the exception to the rule, I still see my ex on a regular basis and we are still really good friends.

I'm with my partner almost two years and I'm totally smiteen. We know we are for keeps, just cos one marriage didnt work out doesn't mean marriage number two is dombed!

P.P.

Fiona

seenitall wrote: »

Nope. Been there, done that, and it's way too much hassle when things go belly up.

OakeyDokey wrote: »

I would definitely be a lot more cautious doing it a second time though.

I am on only separated since Easter but I am at the stage of thinking that I would not go through with it again but that said I miss the status of being somebodies wife if that makes sense?

I liked the feeling of unity that marriage brought to a relationship but I would be very cautious if I was to do it again!

athtrasna

Also in the first year of separation. Finding the archaic waiting time to divorce really frustrating - not that I'm in a rush to get married, there is nobody, but I want to be properly free. 5 years is cruel.

As to whether I'd re-marry, I agree, never say never. I think I'd go into it a very different person, I think I married too young. So if I met someone that I really really wanted to be with long term, with a view to forever, then maybe.

Cleite

I'm going to remarry because I have a baby with my new partner. I had no children with my ex, thank God... It will be a very different wedding this time though, possibly just the three of us, because this time around the focus is completely different. Just because a marriage doesn't work out, doesn't mean that it's not still a good idea, if you're in the right relationship :-)

iguana

Getting there wrote: »

Or one might just think there is no need to marry again to prove commitment....i

The thing is though marriage in itself has little to do with emotional commitment and a LOT to do with legal rights and obligations. Being married or not can make a huge difference in many circumstances, so it's really a decision that should be made logically.

Stheno

iguana wrote: »

The thing is though marriage in itself has little to do with emotional commitment and a LOT to do with legal rights and obligations. Being married or not can make a huge difference in many circumstances, so it's really a decision that should be made logically.

Less so not with the partnership laws

Anyway, I'd remarry if I thought it was worth it, but don't see any advantages to it after the recent laws about cohabiting couples and partnership were brought in.

iguana

Stheno wrote: »

Less so not with the partnership laws

Anyway, I'd remarry if I thought it was worth it, but don't see any advantages to it after the recent laws about cohabiting couples and partnership were brought in.

The cohabiting couples laws only pertains to a small amount of financial matters. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the next-of-kin relationship. I don't know if you have ever been in a situation where there is a very strong chance that your partner will die in the very near future but I have, and our financial status mattered not one tiny little bit compared to being allowed to sit with him and be consulted on his care and condition. And while my husband recovered, if he hadn't I'd have been the one to decide what happened to his body and what type of funeral he'd have. That would have meant a lot more than money to me too.

The sad fact is that while most people don't go through those situations in their relative youth, almost every couple who stays together will eventually be in a similar situation and if they are married (or civil partners) they are each other's closest living family, if they aren't, they might as well be strangers who may be kept apart during the last moments they could have together.

Dolliebird83

I was very anti marriage when my first one failed but got remarried 2 yrs ago and never looked back!

Love him, love marriage, love that I plucked up the courage to try again. Made sure this guy loved me and took a chance. Much more fun second time round