strange behaviour for a 3.5 year old boy????

stoogie1875

Hi all, this may just be me reading too much into things but am a bit puzzled by my sons behaviour, he's always done things differently to my 2 other children, girl age nearly 6 and another little boy of 18 months, but its starting to worry me a but. The PHN referred him to be assessed for autism but the specialists saw no problems and discharged him after an hour appointment. Each of the following things on their own don't worry me but put all together am getting concerned

he was very late developing his motor skills,
He didn't really speak til he was about 2 and a half,
He is very obsessive about food, constantly asking for it and not liking any change in his normal diet,
He does not interact well with other children, mainly preferring his own company or that of an adult he knows well,
His temper tantrums are completely insane and he flies into a rage which I struggle to help him calm down from,
He will not maintain eye contact but is very living
He seems very destructive, everything he does he gets frustrated with and then it end up getting broken or he gets in a total mess, wether its games, books or his dinner,


I don't know what to do,I know all children are different but he is so hard to handle and he is so strong i'm really struggling doing anything with him, he's almost impossible to take anywhere and no-one will mind him because they can't cope with him! He's very clever and is brilliant at taking things apart i.e. his little brothers cot with a screwdriver whilst his little brother was in there, oh and the TV remote then lining up all the little pieces ready for me to fix! He also knows how to use my phone better than me, downloading and playing games, taking photos etc etc
I know this may only be a small thing but he also counts on his fingers in a strange way, to show 3 fingers he holds up his middle finger, his ring finger and his baby finger, he seems to do so many little things the opposite to alot if children, getting to the same conclusion but doing it the most difficult way possible! :-\

Sorry for the length of the post but if anyone has any thoughts please share as me and my family are at a complete loss! :-(

Thank you x

KKkitty

You obviously have a very intelligent little boy on your hands. Are his tantrums maybe out of boredom? As in things are too simple for him and he can't handle something unless it's extremely complex. I don't want to label your child with a condition of any kind but I think he's very advanced.

brianbaru

My little fellah was exactly as you described. We were told it was this disorder and that disorder. we went from this professional to that. Each one seemed to be stalling when it cam to any definitive answer.

We know our son and new deep down he was just a difficult child so we stopped going to these appointments. After he started going to school he COMPLETELY changed. It took him a few months to get the hang of the interaction bit with kids but now you would not recognise him.

I'd say send him to a montessori school that specialise in children with behavioural disorders so he can get some structure, hang in there and wait for school to kick in.

daltonmd

stoogie1875 wrote: »

Hi all, this may just be me reading too much into things but am a bit puzzled by my sons behaviour, he's always done things differently to my 2 other children, girl age nearly 6 and another little boy of 18 months, but its starting to worry me a but. The PHN referred him to be assessed for autism but the specialists saw no problems and discharged him after an hour appointment. Each of the following things on their own don't worry me but put all together am getting concerned

he was very late developing his motor skills,
He didn't really speak til he was about 2 and a half,
He is very obsessive about food, constantly asking for it and not liking any change in his normal diet,
He does not interact well with other children, mainly preferring his own company or that of an adult he knows well,
His temper tantrums are completely insane and he flies into a rage which I struggle to help him calm down from,
He will not maintain eye contact but is very living
He seems very destructive, everything he does he gets frustrated with and then it end up getting broken or he gets in a total mess, wether its games, books or his dinner,


I don't know what to do,I know all children are different but he is so hard to handle and he is so strong i'm really struggling doing anything with him, he's almost impossible to take anywhere and no-one will mind him because they can't cope with him! He's very clever and is brilliant at taking things apart i.e. his little brothers cot with a screwdriver whilst his little brother was in there, oh and the TV remote then lining up all the little pieces ready for me to fix! He also knows how to use my phone better than me, downloading and playing games, taking photos etc etc
I know this may only be a small thing but he also counts on his fingers in a strange way, to show 3 fingers he holds up his middle finger, his ring finger and his baby finger, he seems to do so many little things the opposite to alot if children, getting to the same conclusion but doing it the most difficult way possible! :-\

Sorry for the length of the post but if anyone has any thoughts please share as me and my family are at a complete loss! :-(

Thank you x

When did you notice this behaviour? How was he before your youngest was born?

A relative of mine had a 4th child 2 years ago, some of these issues you present above were noticed before the child was a year old (she was lucky to have the others to measure off), she is autistic and they copped it straight away and she is doing well and thankfully getting all the help she needs.

To put your mind at rest I would start videoing his behaviour if possible and bring it to your GP and ask for advice. Take notes of his behaviour, what he is doing the things that bother you.

Remember that autism is a very broad spectrum, it's not a "condition" in itself - it is defined as "a spectrum of psychological conditions characterised by widespread abnormalities of social interactions and
communication".

So just because you received an opinion that he is "not" autistic, he could be on the spectrum so I would go back again.

Good luck

stoogie1875

Thank you all for your comments, I really don't want to label him with anything either I just want to make sure her gets the right help both at home and at school! He was 2 and a half when his little brother was born but he was doing most of the things I mentioned in the original post from a very young age it was just a bit harderto spot! I will start recording his behaviour and take it to the gp, hopefully once he starts pre-school things will settle down! He's starting in September so will speak to his teachers.
Thank you again
X

cynder

My last boy was completely different to my other 2 ( each child is different) but he was really different.

He only had 5 words by age 3.5 and was in the Care if the early intervention services as he had some very odd characteristics.
From age 1 he would:
He ate non food items ( dishwasher tablets, air freshners, blues for the toilet) he was obsessed with water even in winter he would strip off and soak himself outside, he would climg up to reach water at the sink.


He would climb up really high and jump, he wasn't afraid of anything except loudish noises. He had no social skills and would only interact with kids to hit them.

He would destroy everything he could get a hold of, he wouldn't look at books he would rip the pages out, he was always running and climbing, he couldn't talk so threw major tantrums in which he would hurt himself. He had poor fine motor skills, his 5.5 now and can't hold a pencil right. But his good a drawing at the odd angle he holds the pencil. he also made up his own sign language to communicate. He used to escape the house every door and window was under lock and key. When he was out he would run and run and wouldn't come back.
He could also navigate any IT device, phone, iPad, computer, infact, the slt even got an iPad so she could work with him as he would refuse to do sessions with her. IT was key to his learning.

Since starting school last year his come on leaps and bounds. He is calmer able to talk in sentences some are still incoherent others are fine.

He was with the early intervention sevices from age 2 he was only given a diagnosis last year age 4.5 he had a severe speech and language disorder which impacted on behavior, he scored 1st percentile for receptive, expressive and phonological speech. He was cleared if autism, even though he had autistic like characteristics. He was also said to have minor ot issues with fine motor skills.

He has just been discharged from the early intervention services and has been referred to chamhs and the school age team.


His improvement since school is a miracle. His come on so much, his very intelligent and because his speech isn't there its hard for him to get it out. He no longer uses his own sign language. The school was great,
He loved the routine, he had to know what to expect. By the end of the year he no longer hid under the table when someone new came into the class, he also had an sna.




Just because your son may have autistic like characteristics does not mean he is, it takes a lot of work but you can get there in the end. School for us was the Turing point, preschool was a nightmare but school was fantastic.


Any questions fire away....

We from age 2 questioned autism and ADHD. Autism is out, ADHD is being looked at by the school, but the older he gets the less I think it. I just think he is who he is and that's who he is. I've accepted it and his a delightful and intelligent lad who does things his way.