One Party has screwed me over so much

screwd

So the other day my grandparents went on a trip and I had about 15 people over their house for a party. It was a great party until the neighbors called the cops. I was incredibly drunk at this point and had terrible judgment. I ended up opening the door for the cop and trying to cooperate with him. That was my first mistake because if i never opened the door he would not have been able to come in. Anyway then he made everyone come out and call their parents. I kept telling him it is my grandparents house and I have consent to be here (even though i didnt). I dont remember this but apparently I was a complete dick to the cop. He detained me and put me in the car. I started feeling woozy and kept trying to get the cops attention by yelling and banging my head on the window (not the best idea considering everyones parents would be coming and see me making a fool out of my self). then I ended up puking all over the seat of the police car. After some amount of time my dad came at which point they let me out. Needless to say he was pissed. I have not spoken to my grandparents yet but I would imagine they are disappointed. But I will end up working through that and everything will be fine with the family. The big problems here are now all of my friends parents think I am the scum of the earth. Half of them have banned their kids from seeing me. Also half of them have been banned from seeing some of my friends as well because we are associated. That is really the biggest punishment but then of coarse my dad gave me a curfew, I am not not allowed to sleep anywhere but my house, and I am not able to take my road test once again. This whole thing has really become a **** storm and has really killed my summer.

I guess I am kind of venting here but if anyone wants to give some advice as how to smooth everything over it would be well appreciated.

mtjm

Just couple things here:

1. I take it your under age.

2. It's your grandparents house not yours so you don't have any consent

3. if I was hosting a party I wouldn't get drunk as I'd have to have my wits about myself to ensure nothing gets out of hand


Sorry OP but looks like you have a lot of groveling to do to your grandparents, they let you stay in their house and you let them down by having a party, I'd say your grandparents would be embarresed by having cops calling down to their place where all their friends and neighbours can see.


Maybe when you grow up and have your own place you can have as many parties ya want

Neeson

Aw man, that's so lame. Sounds like something that would happen in America dude.

But I do agree with the above post.

looksee

Thank god, some parents with sense.

Taltos

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Beruthiel

screwd wrote: »

Half of them have banned their kids from seeing me. Also half of them have been banned from seeing some of my friends as well because we are associated. That is really the biggest punishment but then of coarse my dad gave me a curfew, I am not not allowed to sleep anywhere but my house, and I am not able to take my road test once again. This whole thing has really become a **** storm and has really killed my summer.

Your Dad is just teaching you that there are consequences for all actions.
You were trusted and you broke that trust, causing unforeseen problems and hassle for a lot of people.

if anyone wants to give some advice as how to smooth everything over it would be well appreciated.

Trust has been broken, you will need to regain that.
I would start with apologising, starting with your Grandparents and Dad.
If friends have been banned from seeing you by their parents, apologise to the parents, it might help your cause.

Take your punishment on the chin. Your Dad will see that as a mark of maturity.

btw
You may not think this right now, but your Dad is an excellent parent who clearly cares enough about you to go to the effort of teaching you how to behave.
In years to come, you'll thank him for his good work.

Being completely honest, there's not much advice that anyone could give, I don't think. You made a mistake, the best you can do is just hope you can mend the relationship between your parents, your grandparents and you. Was there any damage done to the house?

Rather than just apologizing, I would perhaps volunteer to help your grandparents around the house with whatever they might need. Yes, you mightn't see it as much fun, but it would show your parents that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions and that you are trying to make amends.

OP, we all make mistakes. Just learn from it and move on and maybe try not to get so inebriated in future. Hell, I held house parties at my family home that my parents still haven't found out about and that was close to 10 years ago. I might just tell them sometime.

Mink

You should make it up to them. Get some courage & go and talk to your grandparents. Apologise to them (you really did disrespect them by using their house like that) and tell them you'd like to do work/jobs for them to make it up to them. It's actually the only fair thing to do. Do the same with your parents as you've created hassle for them. Even if it's just cutting the grass, cleaning the car, walking their dog etc.

If you gain their trust then you should be given some more freedom by the end of the summer. This is corny but you'll definitely feel better about yourself and the situation if you make it up to them, even a bit. The stuff with the other kids parents would blow over at some point, but might take a while.

I know this all really sucks at the moment but if you start doing the right thing about it now, it will make it easier faster.

screwd

Thanks for everyones advice.
Just to answer eveyones questions:
1) I went back the next day and cleaned the whole place to the point it looks spotless.
2) The only damages that could not be cleaned was a screen door that was bent. I know the right thing to do would be to replace it but they are about $200! I will probably just bear the cost unless anyone has any better ideas.
3) I do not think my dads punishment is harsh at all. I am also not mad at him in any way. Im just mad at myself.
4) My grandparents didnt know I would be in the house. I am very close to them and see them multiple times a week though. I have practically grown up there. Plus there is nothing they love more in the world than myself and my family. I dont think It will be too hard to mend the relationship.

Taltos

Can I add maybe check with your Dad about going down to the police station to apologise to the officers involved. It might also be a good idea to offer some of your time to them to help clean their cars or help out in any way around the station or the garage.

Might be a bit overboard but besides your family it cannot have been much fun for these guys to come to your house party and to end up having more than likely to clean their own car (assuming there is not a professional valeting service for the police - just don't know).

screwd

Taltos wrote: »

Can I add maybe check with your Dad about going down to the police station to apologise to the officers involved. It might also be a good idea to offer some of your time to them to help clean their cars or help out in any way around the station or the garage.

Might be a bit overboard but besides your family it cannot have been much fun for these guys to come to your house party and to end up having more than likely to clean their own car (assuming there is not a professional valeting service for the police - just don't know).

I honestly would go down there but I dont have my license. My dad is always extremely busy and doesnt have time for something like that. I dont have too good of a history with the police either. At this point I have a pending shoplifting case and a pending criminal possession of stolen property case. I have made a couple mistakes and have been trying to keep myself as clean as possible. I have completely dropped anything relating to theft and I guess I didnt even see the possibility for the police to be called because the house was really like a second home for me.

mikemac1

Head to the station and apologize
They probably won't care but it's a nice gesture



You're going to be stewing and bored over the summer so volunteer at something
I'm thinking Tidy Towns! (though I suspect you are in America, not Ireland)
Or whatever your grandparents are interested in
It's better then hanging around the house

ziedth

Trust me when I tell you in a few years time you'll look back on this and laugh. You will tell this story to countless new friends and they will laugh.

If you were my kid I'd be savage but teenagers do this kind of thing. You realise you made a massive mistake so you sound like a decent young fella to me.

Help your parents and grand parents as much as you can over the summer. They will forgive you.

On the plus side you realised at a young age How much of a mess one can be with too much drink. This is a valuable lesson and remember it at the next party when you can get drink.

Good luck.

irishbarb

Showing respect and resonsibility over time is what will ultimately mend this. We all make stupid mistakes when we are young. It sounds like this wasn't just a once off though and you've been in trouble before. I think you need to sit down and think about your life and why you are getting into trouble. Peer pressure? Boredom? Problems at home? Just for an example. I think you need to grow up and mature a bit, think about the person you want to be in the future and if you continue on like this, are you ever going to be able to attain that? Like other people have said, it will be something you'll laugh about with friends and maybe even your parents in the future but it is still important to learn from it.

Graciefacey

Op you seem to be full of excuses and have a lot of growing up to do. Nothing can excuse your behaviour. You just have to suck it up, take your punishment and apologise to your grandparents, parents, the guards and your friends