To soothe or not to soothe?

lounakin

Hello!
My little girl (6 weeks) discovered her first a week ago and she wants to suck it constantly. I am myself a recovering thumb-sucker and do not wish this for her. I know she's not hungry as she does it after a feed (I breastfeed her as long and often as she wants). The trouble is often she ends up sticking it down her throat and vomiting! Ugh!
So I bought a soother. She won't take it, I've been trying for days. I'm wondering is the hand sucking a phase? Should I give up the soother? Try again?
I also tried to give her her first bottle of expressed milk tonight, thinking I'd be able to have a shower and sit by myself for a while as my partner fed her. She took about 40 ml very happily and suddenly went bananas! She got so angry but she was still hungry so after 20 minutes of trying the bottle and comforting her, I gave up and fed her normally. She was giving out at first but ended up feeding for a very long time.
I don't know whether to try again at the risk of giving her a bit of bottle and the rest in boobage until she gets used to it or just become her slave for the next 6 months!

wmpdd3

My man trys to swallow his fist when he has wind, dont know why. Ne was the same with the bottle, i think he was afraid because it came out so quick, his eyes used to be bulging. and then he'd have wind. If i then switched to nirsing him, he'd fall asleep at the boob ats he had wind in his tummy. Dont worry though he'll take the bottle in the end and in a few weeks you should have atleast 2 hrs between feeds, i thought it would never happen but it did!!

Neyite

I'd love it if my 6weeker would self soothe with his thumb, I hope he does, because that means that he wont roar for the soother he lost in the middle of the night for the umpteenth time. My mother trained us all to suck our thumbs and none of us had issues with it and all have perfectly straight teeth. But the soother can be a very strange shape to get accustomed to, can you try and find one that most closely resembles your nipples? But if she is happy with her fist to self soothe, I'd leave her with it personally.
Edit: didnt see the vomiting bit. Yep, try soother, but maybe get her used to it when she is sleepy and calm first?

Like you, I would like to eventually hand the 11pm dreamfeed over to dad, partly to give me a rest but also to let them bond a bit, but because I had to express and add colic drops, I give him about an ounce in a bottle as a "starter" which contains his drops and then he is on the breast for the main course. Maybe try that? a full bottle might be too hard for her to empty being so used to the breast but a little ounce or two will get her used to it, and over time add an ounce or two until she can take the full bottle. My guy looked at me oddly the first few times but happily switches between bottle and boob at feeds now.

January

My first and third have a soother and loved it, never tried to thumb suck. My second is a thumb sucker. I tried every different type of soother to get her out of the habit but she just wanted her thumb. Sometimes you can't force them to take the soother.

lounakin

Neytie, that's an interesting idea... The problem I have with the thumb is that I had problems quitting. I also had an overbite but it turns out it had nothing to do with the thumb (my mother spent years trying to get me off it before I had braces put it and it was a nightmare... and then my sister came along 14 years after me and her overbite was 10 times worse even though she didn't suck her thumb a day in her life).
Oh and as far as the 11 pm dreamfeed... it's still a distant dream for me! She doesn't sleep through the night yet. Last night she fed at midnight, 2 am, 4 am, 6 am, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 am!!! I thought I was going to sell her at the market

bstar

mines tried 6 kinds of soother, she will take 1 but then she pulls it out cause shes trying to get her fist in beside it she sucks on her forefinger moreso than her thumb.

she will suck the nipple of her bottle but i cant find a dummy the exact same shape cause id say she'd take it no problem

lounakin

bstar, I saw these really weird soothers in Boots, (Boots brand) they had an unusual shape, more like bottles... you should have a look!

pwurple

I was a thumb sucker as well... Needed braces and still have very weak thumb nails.

When i was breastfeeding at the start, the only shape the baby would take was the NUK soother shape. Like a flattened cherry one.

Now she also takes a cherry shape.

I only used them on nap time and bedtime. Not during the normal day.

lounakin

The nail mightn't have anything to do with sucking... I have to admit, I was still sucking my thumb every night well into my late teens and did it occasionally after that, but I didn't have any marks on my thumb and my nails are insanely strong, particularly my thum nails...

Neyite

I sucked my thumb up until I was about 10, my thumbnails are stronger than the rest, and like I said, no wonky teeth - we actually all have very straight teeth, and none have had braces.

I've tried to guide his thumb in, like the mother did, but he wont have it, she did it back when we used to sleep on our tummies so it was easier.

Lounakin, I should have clarified: the dreamfeed is a future plan at the moment and using the bottle for that ounce hopefully will get him used to longer stints on the bottle when I introduce it, he is still a bit all over the place routine wise, but for now the dreamfeed is just that - a dream

Neyite

That night feed sounds, well, a nightmare, Lounakin - 6 week growth spurt? My sympathies. My lad fed constantly just there for about 2 hrs. My arms ache and I was feeling sorry for myself until I read what your one got up to!

And then when you think you cant take any more they peep up at you all cute and smiley and you melt..lil monkeys!:pac:

lounakin

Not sure if it's a growth spurt... she just came out of one! Feeding constantly from 2 to 5 weeks! I think she was a bit traumatised because that day I had to spend with my partner's family and she was handled by strangers all day and couldn't sleep or feed well...

Hannibal Smith

Oh no! Recovering thumb sucker here too and I'd cry if I saw mine doing it....the soother you can take away, the thumb you can't. Apparently I still suck it when I'm asleep sometimes!

I don't think you have much of a say in it...they seem to decide what they want

littlemissfixit

I have a 1 month old feeding very well and just gave him first taste at the bottle yesterday, he protested a bit but after a while without forcing him to take it he got the hang of it. Gave him 1 once and then boob, will do the same everyday and increase the amount following his cue.

Got the dilemma of the the soother too, my 20 month old has a soother, only for nighttime and nap, never during the day and I've weaned her from having it in the car now too.
Wondering if i'll give this one a soother. At the moment he falls asleep ok in our arms, and a couple of times I have seen him go back to sleep during the night without nursing or anything else, (which made him go a 4hrs stretch absolutely divine!) But im not fooling myself and I expect will come a time where he too will need something to sooth himself to sleep (hopefully not, but I d rather be prepared).
With our eldest, it is annoying having to go give the soother in the night when you hear it fall on the floor and her roaring. But at the same time, its a very quick fix that works everytime in seconds. I know it will be a challenge to wean her off it, but its doable, while weaning off the thumb is quite entirely up to the child no?
But then if i give the new baby a soother, how will I possible wean the eldest without weaning the youngest?

Emcm

Your baby obviously just loves the comfort and closeness of breastfeeding and probably going yuck I don't want this plastic thing in my mouth when I have my lovely mammy to nuzzle on and let's face it her thumb tastes more like boob than a soother

Having said that she will eventually get use to taking bottles just get ur partner to try an ounce at a time as seemingly when a breastfeeding mum tries to feed baby with bottle they get all confused as they smell you and want boob. Hopefully once she gets used to bottle in her mouth she might then take a soother.

Poor you she is feeding a lot you must be wrecked she is obviously going through a big growth spurt.

wmpdd3

Congrats on your '2 under 2'!

I did everything to get my 2 to use a soother but they wouldn't touch it.

I think its worth the ease of just putting them down with their soother and knowing they will go asleep. My 20 month goes down with a bottle with 1 ox of milk in it, so basically a soother! I know that will have to go in the next 6 months or she will have bad teeth, but for the time being she is an angel as she gets enough sleep and goes for her naps at the same time every day.

lounakin

I just found out during her 6 week check-up that she has a slight tongue-tie! As usual the GP said to do nothing! I don't know what's wrong with this town! It all makes sense now. She stops feeding every 5 minutes because she gets tired! That's why she feeds so many times and not a few big times. That's probably why she doesn't take the soother or the bottle well.

Emcm

They don't generally treat Tongue ties now until child is 2 and even older in Northern Ireland and sometimes when it's slight it requires no treatment. I have several nieces and nephews who have had them they run very much in my husbands family.

They all still took soothers , bottles etc so I would say your wee lassy will come on to them in time. Try not to worry too much as I said in previous post her feeding all the time might mean she just wants to be close to you and especially at 6 week Mark I remember with all mine they feed a lot.

My wee boy is only 5 weeks so I am preparing for hell next week:eek:

lounakin

I see what you mean but it's a problem when she won't feed for long enough because she gets tired... that means she can't sleep for long either and I'm feeding her more and more since she was born, it should be less and less. She pretty much feeds every hour now. I can't even go to the bathroom or make myself lunch!
Where I'm from they snip it on the day they're born and that's it, no more talking about it.
A friend of mine recently had her baby's tongue corrected because of the same problems. For her it was the tie that prevented the baby from taking the soother. In both our cases, it makes breastfeeding VERY painful. I've been sticking with it for 6 weeks but ouch! And she has a perfect latch so I know that's not the problem.
Anyway, I think she is has been a spot dehydrated lately, that's why I'm anxious to get enough liquid into her.

Emcm

Oh god I didn't realise things were so tough you must just be exhausted. They used to do it as newborns here too one of my sisters was done by GP at 2 weeks not a word said. Now it's a whole big thing under general anaesthetic. I am not sure why they made this change.

Hoping things get easier for you soon and hopefully your little one will get used to bottle soon so you can get a well deserved break

lounakin

Well if they don't want to do it without putting the baby under, I'll just do it in France! I'm going for my maternity leave and I know they do it routinely there!

January

lounakin wrote: »

Well if they don't want to do it without putting the baby under, I'll just do it in France! I'm going for my maternity leave and I know they do it routinely there!

How does that work with vaccinations and PHN visits and stuff like that?

pwurple

Oh there you go lounakin... Tongue tie! Crikey you and her must both be wrecked. Did you tell the doc how often she feeds? You will be a shadow of yourself without sleep yourself. Memory and concentration loss etc.

lounakin

January wrote: »

How does that work with vaccinations and PHN visits and stuff like that?

They do exactly the same vaccinations... is that what you're asking? They have free clinics too but I would just go to a stomato or a dentist surgeon. You don't need to be referred! I had a cyst inside my mouth a while back and went back home, showed it to the dentist surgeon, he said come back one monday... I did, he gave me a shot, took it out and charged me 7 euro and 42 cents! (That's with insurance)

But I'm totally puzzled about what's going on! Just as soon as I think I figured it out, she has a totally normal feed! Now I'm thinking it could also be a plain old growth spurt and the reason she feeds within a few minutes is just because she got more efficient at it. I just don't know

Knit wit

My bub is 15 weeks today ... I know it's not wrong but I find her thumb sucking so cute ... She lines up her little pointy thumb, has a good look at it and them pops it in her mouth ... She only sucks her right thumb. She quite happily sucks a soother and a silk scarf too

liliq

Emcm wrote: »

They don't generally treat Tongue ties now until child is 2 and even older in Northern Ireland and sometimes when it's slight it requires no treatment.

Tongue tie is treated here by a few GPs and pediatricians. There's only one Ped that will treat posterior tongue tie though, and he's in Clonmel. When the child is under 1 it is typically a very simple 5 minute procedure that requires no anesthetic as the membrane is not yet thickened and contains no nerves.

January wrote: »

How does that work with vaccinations and PHN visits and stuff like that?

Both are optional

Lounakin- it could be a combination of factors, including or resulting from tongue tie that is causing the erratic feeding.
It's really such a pity that PHNs and GPs don't have a clue about tongue tie here any more. Breastfeeding is usually where tongue tie problems start, and with rates being so low the last few decades, the knowledge has been lost.
A Cuidiu breastfeeding counsellor or La Leche League leader may be able to help, and an IBCLC lactation consultant will be able to definitively diagnose tongue tie and refer you to someone to release it if you want to get it released.

lounakin

Well she's been feeding normally all night and this morning so I'm not as anxious as I was yesterday. I'm going to see a lactation specialist who also does tongue-tie consults and take it from there. She also not only slept for 5 hours in the night but managed to put herself back to sleep a few times by sucking her fist! She makes a LOT of noise! hilarious!

Suucee

My lil woman is a fist/thumb sucker too and has also made herself wretch on numerous occasions. i tried loads of different soothers, and eventually found she liked mam soothers. She still will suck her fist and thumb but when i see her shoving it right into her mouth i give her the soother, only seems to want it when tired.