What can i do?

Belfastmedic

Hey guys

A bit of a long story, was seeing a guy for three months up to xmas last year
He treated me like crap!

He used my photo's on a website to advertise me without my consent (swinging site)

He cheated on me, gave me an sti and alot of more serious stuff.

I ended up pregnant despite using contraception.

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant and he has started annoying me.

I wrote some stuff on facebook about him because i was angry and he saved it and is currently threatening me with solicitors.

I blocked him on facebook but he created another account and is constantly watching me!

He also found out where i live and now i'm under stress that he will come to my house or
Send me a solicitors letter with the stuff i said about him if i make him angry!

When the baby arrives he is only going to get worse

Is there anything i can do such as safety order etc?

I am a friend

Could you threaten to tell a 'significant other' / family member / colleague of his behauiour and of the pregnancy? Would he back off then? Report it to the police as well.

well if your in the north i wouldnt know about any orders you can get up there, possibly get in touch with your local citizens advise?

just get off facebook. leave it behind. if you want to get in touch with family or friends use your phone. seriously.

ABajaninCork

I wouldn't worry too much about him TBH. Right now he's not your priority - your baby is!

I assume you and the baby's been checked over (considering this charming man gave you an STI) and I hope all is well.

I think he's just throwing his weight around. I seriously doubt he'll be getting solicitors involved. He's doing it to stress you out. In any case (I assume the baby's his), If I were him I'd be FAR more worried about the fact you might be getting the CSA involved when the baby's born!!

Delete your FB account, and just focus on yourself. I'd also have a word with the Old Bill and see what can be done about getting some kind of restraining order if he keeps this up...

Good luck to you and the little one!:)

Belfastmedic

@ i am a friend, his wife knows and the people from his job apparantly know.

He said he has nothing left to loose.

The baby is 100% his but he might demand DNA test just to piss me off.

I met him in limerick today for a chat, that's where i'm from and will be moving back here soon. He is from Galway.

He's just a nasty piece of work and will only get worse as time goes on.

ABajaninCork

Ah - I thought from the name, you were from the North which is why I mentioned the CSA. Now I understand you're both from the South, that's a different story as I don't know how things go here...

If you're sure the baby's his, then let him demand a DNA test! Then there's no doubt. Do you want him to be involved in the child's life? Does he want to be? Have you sorted out getting maintenance for the child?

These are issues that you need to sort out pretty soon. I would get some legal advice.

up for anything

My advice, which I have a feeling will be shouted down, is to lie, lie, lie. Every child deserves to know its father but maybe not till they're 21. Tell him you are really, really sorry that you pinned the fatherhood of the baby on him but you were scared and that the real father is a chap from the swinging site on which he advertised you who managed to contact you and whom you slept with as revenge for him betraying you. Provide him with an internet DNA test but substitute someone else's DNA on the swab. Hopefully, he's out of your life and not being a stress on you or a bad influence on the baby.

I am a friend

How did the meeting today pan out?

AhInFairness

Belfastmedic wrote: »

I wrote some stuff on facebook about him because i was angry and he saved it and is currently threatening me with solicitors.

Did you write anything that is untrue? Have you since removed it? Leave him off with his solicitors.

Belfastmedic wrote: »

I blocked him on facebook but he created another account and is constantly watching me!

I don't quite understand this. If you know he has created another account why don't you block that one? If you have your privacy settings up as high as possible then how can he be watching you?

As another poster suggested, delete your facebook account and be done with it.

What are his feelings on the baby? Do you want him to be in the child's life?

Taltos

I am a friend - taking a vacation from PI for breach of the PI charter.
We expect all posters to have read and adhere to our rules, posters to choose to repeatedly post in breach of these rules are viewed in a serious manner.

Do not ask for updates/to be kept updated - this prevents threads turning into blogs or soap operas for others amusement and avoids puting pressure on the original poster to return to the thread.

Thanks
Taltos

Belfastmedic

Na he knows the baby is his and i wouldn't lie to him, he'd go nuts altogether.

As for the facebook thing, i don't know what the account name he is using but he can go on a persons friends list scroll down and find my name. This person is friends with the both of us. I know he is looking because he asks me to remove various things from my profile! :mad:

The stuff i said about him on facebook was all true but i was fairly pissed at him at the time. He coud have talked to me earlier about it but left me off, saved it and is now using it as blackmail.

He got my house address from my car registration.

I just want him out of my life

xzanti

Wow I really feel for you OP what a stressful situation to find yourself in right now when you need peace in your life..

I think the best thing to do is just start keeping a written log of every single time he harasses you.. this will go a long way if you do need to take it further.. and I would advise letting your local police station know of what's been going on, if you haven't already.

He sounds like a right scumbag.. I had someone similar way back in my past so I know how frustrating and frightening it can be.. Don't be afraid of letting your friends and family know that this is happening.. These sort of creeps thrive on trying to blackmail you and manipulate you if they think you're scared of people finding out certain information.. If everyone around you knows the situation then this takes a lot of the power away from him..

I hope it works out for you