Sex Education in Primary School

Jane98

Just wondering is there a standardised sex education programme across all primary schools.

My oldest child is a 9 year old girl who is just finishing up 3rd class and I'm wondering if it's time to have that chat with her. As part of this I wanted to know when exactly and what exactly they learn at school, if anything.

Also any parents that have gone through this already, if you can recommend any books etc that would be great.

byhookorbycrook

Yes, there is a standard curriculum.You will find it here:
http://www.curriculumonline.ie/en/Primary_School_Curriculum/Social,_Personal_and_Health_Education_SPHE_/

aisher

My kids are just finishing 5th class and I am disappointed in how little they have been taught in regards to body issues - my dd has not been told anything about Periods and she is almost 11 1/2 - the age I was when I started my own periods - the boys have been told nothing about what to expect either. I knew the 'sex' talk would take place in 6th class but I had thought puberty changes would have been spoken about from 4th class onwards.

Personally, I got some books myself - a good one for girls was The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for girls (American Girl Library) (I got it from Amazon) - great as it give enough info. but nothing about sex so my dd had it when she turned 9/10 Now my kids say they 'know' it all from hearing about sex in the school yard - I would have preferred if the knowledge came more from the classroom then the older kids - I think as parents you need to talk to your kids yourself but I did think the school would cover the topics too.

byhookorbycrook

We don't have the guest speaker sex talk, it makes it all such a big deal. The 4th/5th/6th teachers use the Busybodies dvd, as appropriate for each class.

As to books: "Made with Love" is the choice of my friends for their own children.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Made-Love-How-Babies-are/dp/0333741862

tigerblob

aisher wrote: »

Now my kids say they 'know' it all from hearing about sex in the school yard - I would have preferred if the knowledge came more from the classroom then the older kids - I think as parents you need to talk to your kids yourself but I did think the school would cover the topics too.

Kids say they 'know' it all but they don't know how much there is to know! They probably don't know as much as they think they do so it's important not to assume anything

moriz

I don't know if this is any help, but when I was in sixth class in primary school, about 5 years ago, we had some people come in from Accord who had the sex talk with us. Now when I say the "sex" talk, it was more like a "changes you go through in puberty" kind of talk. It was a very simple, without going into too much detail. She talked about the changes we were going through and about periods and sanitary products. They put the boys into a separate group and I believe they had the same type of talk, just with boy stuff, if you know what I mean.
There wasn't really much emphasis on sex, I think they go into more detail on that when you go into secondary school.
I don't know if they do the guest speaker thing in other primary schools, but I'd say it was somewhat useful for girls and boys who didn't already know much about things like that.
We didn't talk about the birds and the bees in normal classes though.

Kathnora

Well, as a teacher who has taught the RSE programme in 4th and 5th class (ACCORD come into 6th class for their RSE lessons) I can honestly say that though I do teach it I'm just not comfortable with it. Why?...... because I simply feel that it's the parents that should be doing it and not me! Only a parent has that close personal relationship with a child that is necessary to make sex education a comfortable subject to deal with. I'm a teacher and in order to do the RSE programme effectively with such young children you need to break down that formal teacher/student relationship into a parent/child one and that is just not possible in the classroom. So, the RSE lessons are more like Biology lessons and that doesn't feel right. To be blunt about the whole thing, if ALL parents did sex education with their children then there wouldn't be any need for the teachers to step in and do it for them!

byhookorbycrook

Don't agree, Kathnora, that it should be left solely up to parents,though of course likewise it should not all be left to the teacher either!!

Kathnora

Why should it not be left to the parents? (in an ideal situation I mean, where parents have the ability and interest to take on the task). We're talking about a life skill here not rocket science. We're talking about something very personal and intimate that needs the close relationship of parent and child in order for the child to feel comfortable with the whole topic. I know teachers have to take on the role of teaching RSE and in some cases it is good that they do because otherwise some children wouldn't get it at home. I still say it's the parents' duty though.

GarIT

Kathnora wrote: »

Why should it not be left to the parents? (in an ideal situation I mean, where parents have the ability and interest to take on the task). We're talking about a life skill here not rocket science. We're talking about something very personal and intimate that needs the close relationship of parent and child in order for the child to feel comfortable with the whole topic. I know teachers have to take on the role of teaching RSE and in some cases it is good that they do because otherwise some children wouldn't get it at home. I still say it's the parents' duty though.

You are taking some sort of spiritual view on the whole thing. What happens to your body isn't a life skill, its just a list of facts. You don't need a personal relationship with a child to explain some facts. Why don't you say the same about maths, I cant teach maths because I have no personal relationship with the child. Its just so silly.

Whats the difference between explaining the respratory system and the reproductive system?

Its the duty of the education system to explain the facts, just like it is about all other subjects, its up to the parents to give an opnion on it.

RSE in my school was terrible, a lot of what we were thought was wrong, it seemed the person teaching it didnt have a clue. Its probably best that you explain as much as you can yourself.

christmas2012

I think its great that the education system gets involved as not all parents would be able to communicate sex ed the way it should be communicated,from a biological and interpersonal point of view..

byhookorbycrook

In an ideal world all parents would talk to their children about sex education,but as often happens, those children who need the information most will often be the ones that wouldn't get it ,unless through school.

SerialComplaint

Jane98 wrote: »

Just wondering is there a standardised sex education programme across all primary schools.

My oldest child is a 9 year old girl who is just finishing up 3rd class and I'm wondering if it's time to have that chat with her.

I think we have to move away from the idea of 'the chat'. We don't expect to teach children about any other particular issue through one single chat. Surely it should be a case of many casual discussions to gradually build knowledge over time.

Kathnora wrote: »

Well, as a teacher who has taught the RSE programme in 4th and 5th class (ACCORD come into 6th class for their RSE lessons) I can honestly say that though I do teach it I'm just not comfortable with it. Why?...... because I simply feel that it's the parents that should be doing it and not me!

I can understand this view to some extent, but wouldn't you say the same thing about ALL religion and moral education. Why would we exclude sexual matters?

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

In an ideal world all parents would talk to their children about sex education,but as often happens, those children who need the information most will often be the ones that wouldn't get it ,unless through school.

Very good point.

Miss Lockhart

I teach SPHE and RSE at second level and there are plenty of kids coming into us in first year who don't know the basics about their body - such as menstruation. I'm not sure if it wasn't covered or if their parents chose to withdraw them or if they just didn't listen.

We also have plenty coming into us who are clueless about these basics, yet are watching hardcore porn online and think that is normal. Many are at least partially sexually active before second level - not having penetrative sex, but have engaged in oral sex or at least intimate touching.

I have no qualms about teaching the facts and I think it's very important for schools because too many parents don't seem to fulfil this duty. As was said, those who need sex ed the most are often the very ones not getting it at home.

I will say that I am slightly uncomortable teaching the relationships side of RSE though. Morals and beliefs regarding sex and relationships is such a personal thing.