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Mens Rights Thread
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Muscle dysmorphia is very common in men and it’s ruining lives
Eating disorders are often associated with young girls but men are suffering too. Muscle dysmorphia leaves sufferers hyper-fixated on building muscle and looking "ripped" and experts say it is ruining lives. Insider spoke to some survivors and sportsmen about their experiences with disordered eating.
https://www.insider.com/muscle-dysmorphia-makes-me-feel-way-a-man-should-feel-2021-8
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A new one for me:
On BBC Radio 1 news today it featured a call for “more gender diverse line-ups" with music festivals.
It had a comment from one of the members from Wolf Alice.
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Here's the latest batch of gender-related hashtags/items I have noticed trending for anyone interested (I know some are not)
(Aside: I'm not on Twitter 24/7 of course and don't look back at lists for when I wasn't on)
I also threw in some other posts as I didn't want to post too much.
Pop star P!nk offers to pay fines for Norwegian athletes fined for wearing shorts instead of bikini bottoms
The Wall Street Journal
Athletes at the Olympics and beyond fight sexist uniforms
The Sunday Times
"Why do we know so little about how sport affects women’s bodies?
Sports Insider
Why don't male gymnasts do leaps?
"Men's gymnastics doesn't reward the kind of beauty and artistry that has been viewed as the domain of women's gymnastics.
https://twitter.com/i/events/1424093886482468869
Careers Insider
The Delta variant is pushing working moms to their breaking point. It's up to companies to make sure they don't burn out.
#womenwontweesht (x2)
#WarOnWomen
#LabourLosingWomen (x2)
#womenmatter (x2)
#stillfemale
Muscle dysmorphia is very common in men and it’s ruining lives
Among the troops who died in Kabul, two women on the frontline (13 military personnel died)
Didn't trend but I thought I would mention:
Women-only initiative:
(UK) Amy's Place - Recovery housing for young women https://amywinehousefoundation.org/what-we-do/amys-place-recovery-housing-for-young-women/
"prestigious Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (RCSI) bursary (funded by Johnson & Johnson Medical Devices Companies), which promotes female participation in surgical training at fellowship level."
I also came across the following which seems to be the same thing though a different sponsoring company seems to be mentioned.
https://www.rcsi.com/surgery/training/fellowship-opportunities/progress-women-in-surgery-fellowship
Golden State Warriors star Stephen Curry and his wife, Ayesha, are collaborating with Davidson College to launch the Curry Family Women's Athletics Initiative, a scholarship endowment focused on elevating women's athletics at the two-time NBA MVP's alma mater.
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Fiction attracts more women than men, but maybe the topics just need broadening
Why are women so much more avid readers of fiction?
Laura Pearson thinks it’s because women sometimes lead lives of greater drudgery, are more distressed about “how terrible the world is” and seek the escape into a fictional universe. Women also say things such as: “I read fiction to feel reassured that my fragility is shared.” Or: “I always find it reassuring that, in fiction, characters display the same thoughts and feelings [as I do], particularly in terms of motherhood or being a woman.”
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Men do read fiction, but any airport bookstall will bear witness to the differences in marketing to male and female readerships. The Lee Childs, the Harlan Cobens, the Ken Folletts are mainly targeted at men; the Danielle Steels, the Marian Keyes, the Sophie Kinsellas are mainly aimed at women.
Of course, there are overlaps, particularly in the genre of the thriller: women authors have a strong track record in the detective story and murder mystery, from Agatha Christie and Patricia Highsmith to Ruth Rendell and Val McDermid, and they attract readers of both genders.
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The hospitality exodus: ‘I’ve seen chefs who don’t have a connection with their kids’
As the sector struggles with a shortage of staff, we hear from some of those who’ve left the industry in search of a better work-life balance
“I’ve seen, first hand, how difficult it is for chefs to be present for their families and children,” he says. “I’ve seen chefs who don’t have a connection with their kids working 7am to 1am five days a week, chasing a dream.
I reckon most of those people are fathers rather than mothers.
Later on, it does have a mother who was a manager who changed to an admin job. I think that's more of an option for mothers than fathers.
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RE: Britney Spears (this was trending on Twitter)
I found it a little interesting how publicly acceptable it is to call for a male partner to sign a pre-nup:
https://twitter.com/Telegraph/status/1437761415230763015?s=20
https://twitter.com/Telegraph/status/1437761416828801030?s=20
https://twitter.com/Telegraph/status/1437761421002088448?s=20
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This is trending
#NWED = National Women's Enterprise Day
Lots of taxpayer-funded bodies are promoting it e.g.
https://twitter.com/Loc_Enterprise/status/1435634219653414916
LocalEnterprise.ie
@Loc_Enterprise
The 31 Local Enterprise Offices across Ireland are hubs of expert advice, information & practical supports! Talk to us. Together, we're #MakingItHappen!
https://twitter.com/LEOLaois/status/1437803827458035713
LEO Laois
@LEOLaois
Dedicated to supporting business in Laois. We support with grants, mentoring and training. Expert tips on how to setup and grow your business.
https://twitter.com/LEOTipperary/status/1438136110442483712
LEO Tipperary
@LEOTipperary
Local Enterprise Office Tipperary, a first stop shop for anyone thinking of starting or scaling a #business . #LEOTipperary. #Consultancy #Grants #training
https://twitter.com/LimerickCouncil/status/1437417029418590212
Limerick Council
@LimerickCouncil
Official account of Limerick City and County Council. Monitored during office hours. Out of hours emergency number: +353 61 417 833. View our Comment Policy:
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Just heard now on NewsTalk a woman who is pushing for the maternity hospitals to open up for partners saying they (some group she is involved with) met with all* women members of the Oireachtas today. If there was a similar group for male politicians there would be talk of a patriarchy.
*Her wording
Post edited by iptba on1 -
I wonder how much longer they can pretend women are at a disadvantage and need these women’s advocacy groups.
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Solutions for Parental Alienation – Professionals Webinar Series 4
4.00pm (GMT+1) – Monday, 27th September 2021
http://alienated.ie/solutions-parental-alienation-acf-webinar-4/
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There is a new-ish Irish version of the song “only a woman’s heart” (or whatever it is called) out now. Have to say I find the song irritating: “only a woman’s heart can know” as if men can’t experience similar feelings.
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A Newstalk survey found nearly nine in 10 women feel uncomfortable walking alone after dark
I saw this survey on Twitter. I'd say people who did feel safe may have been less likely to fill it in.
Anyway, more importantly for this thread is that the only asked about experiences of women. Men can feel uncomfortable also.
Also, the level of uncomfortable-ness associated with something isn' t necessarily equivalent to level of risk.
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More men's issues rather than men's rights, I suppose:
"In recent weeks, there have been a number of cases of young teenagers who have been blackmailed after sharing sensitive images online," he said.
These young lads, between 16 and 17, got a friend request from a pretty stranger. An automated conversation ensued and they were sent a naked picture from the 'girl', asking for one in return.
"Naively, they sent one back and then received demands for thousands of euro, threatening to post the images online and to family members if they didn't pay up.
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Joanne O’Riordan: Why do some men only champion women after having a daughter?
#GirlDads are unintentionally admitting they didn’t see women before fatherhood
It also raises the question of why men’s eyes are opened after they have a daughter, not watching their mother, sister or other girls in their lives? And even more sinister, does it take a female relative to actually humanise and normalise women’s struggles for a man?
Some comments:
This article is dis-spiriting. Apparently everyone should care equally about everything regardless of ones lived experience? It really does seem that some journalists are going above and beyond to find ways to be offended.
This article has to be tongue in cheek no? Joanne's usually quite good I think but there is some crazy stuff in here. Her Dad is obviously superior to all other men for starters but guess that's a natural inclination, although usually suppressed by adults. "This all started when Kobe Bryant admitted he was anxious about his legacy dying out because all he had were daughters." - tough on Kobe to pin my failings on him!
If I've a choice say between watching Chelsea Arsenal men, Chelsea Arsenal reserve men, and Chelsea Arsenal women, I'm picking the former every time. The standard is far, far, far higher so I'd go for that. Is that ok now or am I some kind of Neanderthal? Do I need to reconsider and choose the women's game for the betterment of society? And what about the poor reserve men?
To be clear, I'm definitely not woke but I love watching my daughter participate in sports in the same way I like watching my sons do the same. I'd never have gone to a girls game unless I had a daughter but, likewise, I'd never have gone to a boys game unless I had a son. I don't feel any pride in going, just enjoyment. Maybe it'd be different if they were any good:)
Developing empathy through experience is a normal thing. The love of a child the greatest possible. That's the simple reason for more vested interest! Such a load of subjectively blind nonsense. As a very new father of a daughter I found this entire article belittling and offensive. So may aspersions cast without wisdom!
I have read numerous versions of this argument and none of them are entirely convincing. Most activists I know in whatever sphere are activists because something has had a personal impact on them: they started to support gay rights because their brother came out, or they got involved in disability rights because their niece had a disability, or they were bullied at work and they joined a trade union. Personally if fathers are now becoming more alert to and campaigning for fair and equitable treatment for women because their daughters have made them understand what's at stake, then that is great, fantastic, brilliant and more of this.
Such a mean-spirited, lazily constructed article. The main thesis of the piece has it's foundation on the opinion of Kobe Bryant - a deceased sports figure with no cultural significance to this country. All of the evidence I see on the playing fields of Ireland are Mams and Dads and tireless volunteers dedicated to their daughters and sons sporting prowess and social and emotional growth. But instead of celebrating this we should flay those fathers in a pointless orgy of misandry for not being at training ten years before their daughters were born. Seems reasonable.
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It’s reads like a fairly weirdly written article alright, I can’t tell if she’s poking some light-hearted fun at the concept, or if she’s actually serious about her ideas. I’m hoping it’s more intended to poke light hearted fun at the concept that there is any such nonsense as… I’m not even going to mention the hashtag it’s so stupid.
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Detailed article in the Guardian
“The great sperm heist: ‘They were playing with people’s lives’
‘You look in the mirror and think: which parts of my face look like someone else?’ Illustration: Nicolas Ortega/The Guardian
Paul was in his 80s when someone called to say she was his daughter, conceived in a fertility clinic with his sperm. The only problem? He’d never donated any”
Interesting article in itself. What it doesn’t mention is that without paternity testing being routinely done at birth (or soon after), there are plenty of other people who think the wrong person is their biological father, meaning they don’t know their true medical history (they actually have the wrong info) and could end up having children with close relatives including half-siblings.
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“It was only in 1990, after the passing of the Human Embryology and Fertilisation Act and the foundation of the Human Fertility and Embryology Authority (HFEA) as a regulator, that donor-conceived people won the right to know anything about their biological heritage: basic, non-identifying information about their donors, such as height and eye colour. In 2002, Joanna Rose won a human rights test caseagainst the department of health and the HFEA. It led to legislation banning anonymous donation in 2005, and the creation of the donor-conceived register, the DNA database run by the HFEA that helps donor-conceived people find information about half-siblings and donors.”
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“In a speech to the United Nations in 2019, she told the stories of Narelle Grech and Alison Davenport, who both died of cancers they might have survived had they been allowed to know their biological father’s identity.”
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“I just feel cheated that I haven’t had a chance to have any kind of relationship with my biological father. But that’s how things are. I’ve got a half-sister out of this, and I know my medical history. Those are all pluses. I don’t have it bubbling around in my mind any more, that I don’t know where I’m from.”
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ETA: Routine paternity testing at birth would also have picked up this problem in most or all of these cases.
Post edited by iptba on1 -
Unfortunately, this is behind a pay wall, so I can't access it. The author may be unpopular with many but maybe sometimes it requires somebody like him to be willing to challenge the status quo publicly like this.
Boys must not be left behind in equality stakes
Ireland has made great strides in treatment of women but unconscious bias towards girls in Leaving Cert results should alarm us
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/boys-must-not-be-left-behind-in-equality-stakes-rqw73xf3n
An 'Unconscious bias' in favour of girls over boys in the Leaving Cert has been found by the Exam Commission. It has caused almost no alarm. It appears discrimination is acceptable if in the 'right cause'. (My @SunTimesIreland column today).
https://twitter.com/DavQuinn/status/1436985346722615300?s=20
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First reply to that tweet: more detailed studies must be done (before acknowledging the bias).
Second reply: the author is a misogynist.
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(From 2016)
https://twitter.com/magsmurph/status/781857790386143232?s=20
INTO equality Committee 2016-2017 ready for our Conference on #gender and #careerprogression. #intoeqc2016
In photo: 17 female, 2 male
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https://twitter.com/bocktherobber/status/1444006223016308742?s=21
As someone who isn’t colour-blind, I hadn’t thought about this much. And also the men’s issue-angle is interesting. Efforts are often made to be accessible to much smaller groups. An alternative to colours is different types of lines (dots, dashes, etc.) (or with pie charts, different types of shading).
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#NotAllMen was trending in the UK. Lots and lots of people complaining about this. Here’s one saying it’s men’s responsibility to ensure women feel say https://twitter.com/gazpowell/status/1444103493686636546?s=21
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(Maybe not that important)
The second brain: Women more likely than men to act on gut instinct
Listen to your gut, butterflies in your stomach, a sinking feeling - these are all phrases we use every day. But did you know there's actually a scientific basis behind them?
https://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/healthandwellbeing/arid-40719948.html
But women seem to be more in tune with their gut feeling, with 60% of women surveyed reporting getting butterflies in their stomach, compared to just 46% of men.
Another gender difference being presented as women being better than men in some way.
I have no problem in it being sometimes said that women are better than men in some way, if there are a similar magnitude of cases where the reverses said, but you don't tend to hear or see the latter much in the mainstream media.
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Father ‘shattered’ after court rules wife can keep children in Poland
Irish courts allowed wife to bring children on holiday but she kept them there
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Thanks for highlighting this shocking case.
The EU is ready to do battle with Poland over its courts and this looks like a case where the Polish courts are abusing the legal rights of Irish citizens (an Irish father and his Irish-born children). There is an international convention governing such cases and this seems to fly in the face of its most basic principles I.e. the mother took the children out of their home jurisdiction in flagrant contempt of Irish court orders. The intervention by the minister for justice, Zbigniew Ziobro, adds a political dimension to the decision of the Polish Supreme Court.
An Irish mother who tried this stunt in the opposite direction would be bounced back to Poland and would be lucky to retain access to the children.
Let’s see if this man gets any support from our politicians, media or the NGOs. it sounds like he has fought this for years on his own so far.
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I hope it's okay to post the following. I am not involved with the organisation myself.
Sent: Thursday 28 October 2021 20:39
Subject: Richard Hogan, Psychotherapist, Author and TV Presenter to give webinar on how to positively parent alienated children on 11th November
INVITATION
To whom it concerns
Alienated Children First are delighted to invite you to their 6th webinar where we are glad to have Richard Hogan presenting on self care for alienated parents and reaching out to your alienated child.
This webinar is about parental alienation, it is, unfortunately, a very current and growing issue with many parents in Ireland especially alienated children, mothers, fathers and grandparents who for no reason are being stopped from having a loving caring relationship with their own flesh and blood.
To REGISTER click HERE
or https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/parental-alienation-webinar-6-richard-hogan-tickets-194744033647
Richard Hogan PHD, is a well known Irish author, tv presenter journalist, and positive family dynamics expert. Recently well known for his revealing observations on Virgin Media TVs 'Eating with the Enemy'. He has an objective view on parental alienation based on his working experience and academic research. Richard Hogan is a systemically trained Family Psychotherapist registered with The Family Therapy Association of Ireland. He writes every Thursday for the Irish Examiner where he explores mental health issues for teenagers, couples and families. He has been invited by Trinity College Dublin to undertake a PhD exploring how to introduce systemic theory into the Irish and American educational system. Richard was recently awarded a Fulbright scholarship for his research into promoting inclusion in Irish and American schools. Richard is also the author of the best-selling book, “Parenting the Screenager, a practical guide for parents of the modern child“. In this book, Richard uses his vast experience working with teenagers in schools and as director of therapy institute to offer parents easy–to–follow, practical steps that build healthier and more positive patterns of communication. Richard’s approach incorporates a number of schools of thought. While his systems training helps him to understand a client’s rich context, he also believes very strongly that therapy should move towards the desired goal. He has worked with adolescents for over fifteen years and in that time he has noticed the increasing tendency to pathologise normal adolescent behaviour. The strategies developed by Richard Hogan over his years working with teenagers are some of the most significant and progressive approaches to adolescent behaviour in recent times.
On 19th October, Dr. Amy Baker presented a free webinar organised by Alienated Children First (Ireland) on how to 'Parent, Communicate and Reach Out to Your Alienated Children'. The successful webinar is aimed at alienated parents and professionals working with families and children of all ages, of high conflict separation. Professionals such as Barristers, Solicitors, Social Workers, Family, and Domestic Abuse Support workers, and many others from organisations such as TUSLA, CAFCASS, Law Library, ISPCC, and numerous NGOs, etc. who have attended the previous successful webinars presented by internationally renowned experts in parental alienation. The feedback received about the expert information and advice given from all the webinars has been excellent to date.
To find out more about Alienated Children First please visit http://alienated.ie/
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Feck. My relationship with my Polish partner is pretty much fecked and we have a pre-schooler. I wouldn't be comfortable now with her leaving the country after reading the above. The poor Dad. Seemingly has done everything right but the law isn't being observed by the Polish system.
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Well, fingers crossed!
Just don’t expect any help from the media, the politicians or NGOs. Not a peep from any of them in response to that IT story last week. You would get a solicitor from the Legal Aid Board panel.
I wonder if anyone has ever got custody back from Poland in recent years? The Department of Justice used to publish statistics but I can’t see anything more recent than 2012.
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Brianna Parkins: Let it be known I am very fond of men. I even have one in my house
I don’t want a man to make all the money. I want him to make dinner
Long article in the Irish Times today, which basically comes down to complaining about men.
As someone suggests, a similar article about another group probably wouldn't be published.
Here are some comments from underneath (which will disappear in a couple of days)
More "acceptable" aggression towards all men.
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If the woman in a straight relationship doesn’t want to do the gardening, outside work, car-related activities and painting a decorating, does this make them a bad person? Asking for a friend…
But seriously, it’s a fair cop. I try to do my share but I do often find myself beaten to it and/or dissuaded from certain activities, like washing, even though I have happily spent stints of time living on my own and having to do all household tasks. I’m not complaining (too loudly) but it seems like the inequity can have a dual cause.
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A lot of men get criticised for not doing housework "right", so they give up, because they know it's going to be done "correctly" again anyway by their partner.
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'You just have higher standards than me' is a perfectly good argument. Why should men submit to the OCD demands of uptight feminist cleanfreaks? And the idea that women hold all the bargaining chips here is nonsense. The college-educated liberal demographic is full of women who approach dating like a job-interview with a list of 'must haves' and then blame their lonely middle-age on the shortage of good men, though the real reason is the victim mentality, the massive sense of entitlement, and all the attendant gender-studies nonsense installed in them during their arts degrees, with booster shots provided regularly by the media.
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Whinge moan whine.... What happens when the place needs decorating or there is some physical work required. Or there's a spider in the bath?
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As Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry once said, "Men, because of a tragic flaw, cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture". And this quip conceals a very important fact. Men do not feel 'judged' on whether the house is clean or not, nor do they require it to be more than functional.
They do expect or are willing to let women do all of it but neither would (most of object, if most of it wasn't done.
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Poor Brianna has gone all wokey. It didn't take long, but it is still a shame, as the old wokiness is usually a laugh-killer. And much as I approve of Brianna's views of not "marrying up", it is not borne out by real-world data. In Sweden, one of the most gender-equal countries in the world, women (no matter how qualified) still tend to marry up the income ladder.
https://academic.oup.com/esr/article/36/3/351/5688045
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I’m living with my same sex partner (2 men). There are jobs that either one or the other of us gravitate towards because it just makes sense. For example, I do anything to do with technology because he’s useless at it. He does anything more messy e.g. unclogging drains, gutters etc. because he’s less squeamish than me.
These are just two of many examples due to our different personalities, I imagine for straight couples that type of division that ‘just makes sense’ would be more pronounced.
There’s no resentment either way because we both pull our weight, I think that’s key and is not really a gender issue.
Also, I think Brianna underestimates how tiring and difficult those heavy duty ‘weekend jobs’ she mentions are.
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Yep nail on head tbh. Oddly enough in spite of the whinge from gender studies professors boys don’t get a key to a magic golden palace at birth…..
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This a deeply sexist piece that wouldn’t be accepted if any other group were mentioned.
Let’s start with this gem “ The term weaponised incompetence is all over TikTok this week, leading to heavy debate about whether men “can’t see dirt” or “choose not to”. My question: why do they do either? ”:
There a whole body of work that looks at the difference in expectations of men and women in this area, showing that women frequently make more work for themselves by redoing the work of their partners. Is the original work done incorrectly? Nope, just not what they wanted, as if that’s a reason. Now I don’t know why men don’t point out the flaws in their significant others chores, but for some reason we don’t. I know my other half doesn’t do certain things to the level I would but I just get on with it- life’s frankly too short and I married them for the person they are, not based on wanting them to be something else. If they comment on my work I just nod and move on- again, life’s too short
The start of the piece reveals a more toxic strand of femininity that lies under this. The idea that you should be entitled to marry up. Too often that is accompanied by the idea of when you eventually meet some you can change them to fit your expectations- no you bloody can’t, and trying to is basically coercive control. In an environment built on such toxic foundations it’s always necessary to find flaws in your partners work because they’re never the person you actually imagine them to be
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Come on lads, admit it, we're not quite as 'invested' in housework as women are.
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Toxic, entitled, bullying, coercive, neo-feminist trash.
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Positive outcomes for children who have good relationship with father, study finds
Long working hours a barrier to fathers’ involvement, ESRI research shows
Fathers' greater involvement in care during infancy has a lasting positive effect on father-child relationships
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Trending on Twitter:
The five devastating reasons climate change affects women more than men
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