The Dreaded Crabs

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this.

Basically, I'm 21, gay, and I started seeing a new guy (met him through a friend, we knew eachother for a while but only hooked up recently). We had slept together about a month ago, went on a couple of dates since, and it's all going well so far.

The problem is, today I've discovered I have pubic lice.

I'm not too worried about them, they should be easy enough to get rid of. My problem is whether I should tell the new guy about it. The thing is, I most likely caught them from him (very small chance I couldve picked them up elsewhere, gym perhaps, but its unlikely), which also makes me worry that he could have other STDs. I don't know much about his sexual 'history'.

It's a very new relationship, so it's something that would be quite awkward to talk about. And asking him to get himself tested for other STDs seems extreme. But I know I probably should, there's no point just hoping that he doesn't have anything.

So basically I'd like to know how would you guys feel about a new partner wanting you to get checked for STDs? Is it a common thing or not? And how does one go about broaching the topic?

All advice on the matter (and tips on treating crabs!) is welcome.

P. Breathnach

Pubic lice are not an STD. Getting them is just a piece of bad luck.

Tell him, and don't feel bad about it.

Oryx

If you can get intimate with someone, you really should be able to talk to them about all aspects of that. Particularly so when it is to do with both of your sexual health. No point in being coy and risking catching something unpleasant. If this was the other way around, wouldn't you want to be told?

Any kind of meaningful relationship needs to be based on trust. This will be a test of how you guys deal with it. Just tell him straight. If he has a problem Maybe he isn't mature for a serious relationship right now.

Regardless of whether it's a new relationship or if it's nothing too serious, OP, anything that could potentially be passed on to another partner should always always be discussed.

nowyouresix

Sorry to hear you picked up this problem, in my mind you should absolutely discuss getting tested for stds before you get in to the bed at all ! Jmho.

edellc

ask him to go together to get tested that way you both go through it and can feel safe in the knowledge you are both clean

as for the crabs you know yourself your going to have to say something to him, your hardly going to get rid of them then sleep with him again and get them again are you...only and idiot would so talk to him

and i know the gay scene is different to the straight one but any new relationship and you know you should be putting something on the end of it, its not just to stop pregnancies and if you did that maybe you wouldnt need to be tested and have that awkward conversation

im not judging you op im just saying

peace and love op x

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the feedback! Who knows, discussing it may even help build trust & benefit the relationship!

Edellc, I always practice safe sex myself. Unfortunately a condom is no use against crabs.

edellc

Oh I know its no use for crabs, but you where also talking about STD's which a condom do protect against