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Lizards In The Hills Of Donegal!!

  • 09-06-2012 12:28pm
    #1
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭


    No it's not a remake of the Goat's Don't Shave classic.

    I just found this crocodile at my back porch. What should I do?


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    It's harmless and protected by law. Pick it up and release it in a safe place. Also looks quite fat, may be pregnant. They give live birth.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viviparous_lizard


  • #3
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Yeah seen one last week too. Just leave him/her in a safe place.


  • #4
    micropig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,366 ✭✭✭micropig


    Where To wrote: »
    No it's not a remake of the Goat's Don't Shave classic.

    I just found this crocodile at my back porch. What should I do?

    Have you called crocodile Dundee?:p


    I never seen one of those in Ireland before.

    Edit: I see others say they are protected - What are they?


  • #5
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,754 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    "Crocodile"? Are you Captain Hook, by any chance?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #6
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Thats a common Lizard op! It does quite well on Irish bogs.


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  • #7
    Einhard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,920 ✭✭✭Einhard


    Make a handbag out of him. Nice present for your mother.

    Alternatively, keep him in a jar and bring him out to fight Megalon and Mothra every now and then. Make some good money that way.


  • #8
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    Phil the Greek wrote: »
    It's harmless and protected by law. Pick it up and release it in a safe place. Also looks quite fat, may be pregnant. They give live birth.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viviparous_lizard


    Looks like it needs a good fart. :D

    Live birth as opposed to dead birth like? :D


  • #9
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,225 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Where To wrote: »
    No it's not a remake of the Goat's Don't Shave classic.

    I just found this crocodile at my back porch. What should I do?

    I'd sh1t me pants if I were you, and then run like the wind screaming like a girl.


  • #10
    micropig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,366 ✭✭✭micropig


    vicwatson wrote: »
    Looks like it needs a good fart. :D

    Live birth as opposed to dead birth like? :D

    As opposed to eggs;)


    OP forget about calling Crocodile Dundee, Have you consulted Jim Corr?


  • #11
    Battered Mars Bar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 672 ✭✭✭Battered Mars Bar


    Butter, 4 mins each side, serve with chips.


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  • #12
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    What should I do?

    Down the hatch with a pint of stout. Hic


  • #13
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    I'd sh1t me pants if I were you, and then run like the wind screaming like a girl.
    Already done that:o


  • #14
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,282 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Thin out its numbers.


  • #15
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    vicwatson wrote: »
    Looks like it needs a good fart. :D

    Live birth as opposed to dead birth like? :D

    Live birth as opposed to hatching from eggs. If you were arsed reading the link you would not have appeared as a smartarse who failed.


  • #16
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    As opposed to eggswink.gif

    :D

    Why, are animals that are born in eggs dead when born?


  • #17
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    Phil the Greek wrote: »
    Live birth as opposed to hatching from eggs. If you were arsed reading the link you would not have appeared as a smartarse who failed.

    ;-)


    Why, are animals that are born in eggs dead when born?


  • #18
    micropig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,366 ✭✭✭micropig


    vicwatson wrote: »
    :D

    Why, are animals that are born in eggs dead when born?

    Have you ever cracked a chickens egg? Is there a chicken inside?


  • #19
    vicwatson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,404 ✭✭✭✭vicwatson


    micropig wrote: »
    Have you ever cracked a chickens egg? Is there a chicken inside?


    There was once, it was disgusting, no meat on it all :rolleyes:


  • #20
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    vicwatson wrote: »
    ;-)


    Why, are animals that are born in eggs dead when born?

    Ah come on Vic, you know what I mean. :)


  • #21
    Thwip!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,234 ✭✭✭Thwip!


    Is this it?
    ;)


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  • #22
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Phil the Greek wrote: »
    It's harmless and protected by law. Pick it up and release it in a safe place. Also looks quite fat, may be pregnant. They give live birth.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viviparous_lizard
    It hasn't moved in the last hour. Also it is breathing heavily like it is having contractions:eek:

    Should I call a midwife?


  • #23
    Battered Mars Bar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 672 ✭✭✭Battered Mars Bar


    Where To wrote: »
    It hasn't moved in the last hour. Also it is breathing heavily like it is having contractions:eek:

    Should I call a midwife?

    No just wait and then post disgusting pics of the birth here for us :D


  • #24
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Where To wrote: »
    It hasn't moved in the last hour. Also it is breathing heavily like it is having contractions:eek:

    Should I call a midwife?

    How many cm's is she dilated now?? Stay with her and hold her paw/leg, I'll boil the kettle, Nothingbetter2d will get the towels, Battered Mars Bar will help with her breathing and we're waiting on Deus to bring the whiskey:).


  • #25
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    Where To wrote: »
    It hasn't moved in the last hour. Also it is breathing heavily like it is having contractions:eek:

    Should I call a midwife?

    :D

    They're cold blooded creatures and like to bask in the sun to warm up before they can become active. Place it somewhere sunny and safe.

    Also have a basin of hot water and some towels handy, you know like in the movies ;)


  • #26
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    How many cm's is she dilated now?? Stay with her and hold her paw/leg, I'll boil the kettle, Nothingbetter2d will get the towels, Battered Mars Bar will help with her breathing and we're waiting on Deus to bring the whiskey:).
    Bad news I'm afraid:(

    She's now lying flat on her back with her legs in the air.
    I don't need Godzilla's gynaecologist to tell me that's not a good sign.


  • #27
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    where to make sure ya get a good lungful of the gas... your gonna need it


  • #28
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Phil the Greek wrote: »
    :D

    They're cold blooded creatures and like to bask in the sun to warm up before they can become active. Place it somewhere sunny and safe.

    Also have a basin of hot water and some towels handy, you know like in the movies ;)

    That's covered, Phil. What else do we need??????


  • #29
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Where To wrote: »
    Bad news I'm afraid:(

    She's now lying flat on her back with her legs in the air.
    I don't need Godzilla's gynaecologist to tell me that's not a good sign.



    CPR - don't just stand there. Caesarian - you might save the little 'uns:D


  • #30
    tfitzgerald
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭tfitzgerald


    Battered Mars Bar wrote: »
    Butter, 4 mins each side, serve with chips.

    That works for cat too :)


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  • #31
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    That's covered, Phil. What else do we need??????

    fine cigars


  • #32
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    Maybe some lizard people here. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1393 No it's not the conspiracy forum.


  • #33
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Phil the Greek wrote: »
    Maybe some lizard people here. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1393 No it's not the conspiracy forum.
    I'd look good going in there asking how to give CPR to a lizard :pac:


  • #34
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    if Where To is the father of those lizard babies expect them to look something like this




  • #35
    John Doe1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    It's the beginning of the plague of lizards as foretold in the bible, grab the children and leave:D


  • #36
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    That's covered, Phil. What else do we need??????

    Sorry shop, my expertise doesn't go beyond dogs and chickens :(


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  • #37
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Where To wrote: »
    I'd look good going in there asking how to give CPR to a lizard :pac:

    Dare ya;):D


  • #38
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Phil the Greek wrote: »
    Sorry shop, my expertise doesn't go beyond dogs and chickens :(

    :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: Now you tell us! Typical greek;)


  • #39
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    So, did she croak it????? You can't leave us hanging like this:(:mad:


  • #40
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    maybe she had a hissy fit


  • #41
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    So, did she croak it????? You can't leave us hanging like this:(:mad:
    Yep fraid so:mad:. I lifted her by the tail and spun her around a few times like you do with a newborn lamb. Unfortunately i accidentally let her slip out of my grasp and she flew out of my grasp into the recycling bin which coincidentally happened to be open at the time.

    See you later alligator. . . . . . :(


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  • #42
    Einhard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,920 ✭✭✭Einhard


    Where To wrote: »
    Bad news I'm afraid:(

    She's now lying flat on her back with her legs in the air.


    The kinky biatch!! :eek:

    Maybe she thinks you're David Icke.


  • #43
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    How many cm's is she dilated now?? Stay with her and hold her paw/leg, I'll boil the kettle, Nothingbetter2d will get the towels, Battered Mars Bar will help with her breathing and we're waiting on Deus to bring the whiskey:).

    i think Deus may have drank it all on his way here - he doens't seem to have made it in time :(


  • #44
    Phil the Greek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Phil the Greek


    141_Oscar_Mike wrote: »
    Theres many of these in the fields around my area. Its a Common Newt i think.

    It's a Viviparous/Common Lizard http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viviparous_lizard

    Common/Smooth Newt http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smooth_Newt


  • #45
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    opinion guy wrote: »
    i think Deus may have drank it all on his way here - he doens't seem to have made it in time :(

    No, he can't suck it off his own erect penis - he's not Micky Dazzler;)


  • #46
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Where To wrote: »
    Yep fraid so:mad:. I lifted her by the tail and spun her around a few times like you do with a newborn lamb. Unfortunately i accidentally let her slip out of my grasp and she flew out of my grasp into the recycling bin which coincidentally happened to be open at the time.

    See you later alligator. . . . . . :(

    :(
    Tragic


  • #47
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    No, he can't suck it off his own erect penis - he's not Micky Dazzler;)


    I thought Micky Dazzler was a Dudess anyhow - whats he doing with a penis ?


  • #48
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    opinion guy wrote: »
    I thought Micky Dazzler was a Dudess anyhow - whats he doing with a penis ?
    Apparently performing a lot of autofellatio;)


  • #49
    goose2005
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,798 ✭✭✭goose2005


    Battered lizard with a bag of chips can't be beat.


  • #50
    Discodog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,960 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    goose2005 wrote: »
    Battered lizard with a bag of chips can't be beat.

    Perhaps not. It may well of been bought to the doorstep by a cat & the swelling is an infection & full of pus - some mayo for your chips :pac:


  • #51
    housetypeb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,197 ✭✭✭housetypeb


    It's Ireland's only native reptile,treat it with respect.


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