Can i trust him

SineadMarie

Just looking for a bit of advice, my housemate and friend introduced me to her brother end of March we got on great and started seeing each other its all being going well at times, until last week i saw a message on his phone from his ex i didnt going snooping he was showing me a message and i noticed a message from her, i confronted him about it and he said that they were still friends and thats all, he texted her to tell her to stop texting him as it bothered me, i didnt really mind and told him not to but he did. Anyway ever since then its got me thinking, his facebook was logged on and thats when i went snooping, i found a few messages that were deleted from two women there was like say dirty talk in one and in one message she wrote to him "are u not in a relationship" He replied "I am but its not going well at the mo" From the dates we were seeing each other about a month. Things werent great around that time i must admit but we sorted it out and now we're in love he couldnt tell me enough, hes even told his sister he wants to marry me some day. So what do you guys think do u think it was early on and he didnt know what he wanted, he didnt cheat i know that from the messages. Should i confront him about this i do feel guilty for going through his fb. I dont know what to think. Some advice please....

Piliger

Hi OP. I honestly don't an issue, or what more he could do.

coco_lola

How old are you OP? You seem very young to me. Tbh if you were having problems less than a month into seeing each other, it doesn't bode well.

SineadMarie

im 30 so is he

SineadMarie

Piliger wrote: »

Hi OP. I honestly don't an issue, or what more he could do.

sorry didnt get what you mean here did you miss a word ??

Fizzlesque

I know it's not nice to discover your boyfriend has had flirty chats with another woman while with you, but you say things weren't going well at the time he wrote those messages so it's possible he didn't think your relationship was going to work out.

At this stage, it sounds like you're the one who has done more 'wrong' by snooping in his Facebook account, so if you confront him on messages he wrote at a time he (probably) thought your relationship was going nowhere, you'll have to tell him how you saw them. Are you prepared to do that?

I'd be livid if a new boyfriend snooped in my Facebook account. I'd be livid if anyone snooped in my Facebook account - new boyfriend, long term boyfriend, friend, anyone. You might end up introducing a new issue to your relatively new relationship if you confront him, except this time it'll be you in the hot seat.

My advice is say nothing and promise yourself you'll knock the snooping on the head.

Good luck

SineadMarie

yea i understand if i was to confront him he would be angry and i wouldnt blame him for that i did invade his privacy i just needed to know if i had anything to worry about. The only reason i am willing to let this slide is the fact we were only together a few weeks i know its only a month later but we've finally come to a stage where we get one another. I just wanted other peoples opinion i dont want to be a fool about it.

ihsb

No. He sent flirty messages to other women WHILE he was with you. This is the issue. Is there any proof of dishonesty from him more recently? You cannot blame his behaviour on you going through a tough patch otherwise every time you go though one you will be thinking he will do something like that again.

Should this relationship even be happening? To me, one that goes through a rough patch only after a month into it doesn't really sound like it's getting off to a good start.

If the fact that he was texting his ex didn't bother you, then why did you confront him about it?

SineadMarie

i was only out of a relationship and there were insecurity problems i wouldnt call it a rough patch we just didnt really know were we stood and were taking things easy, there was a few mix ups at the beginning if you get me.

i confront him as in just asked him who it was when he answered my question i was finee i just said be careful and its nice they can be friends

SineadMarie

thread can be closed i think its slowly going off the topic