Diva in the band.

son.of.jimi

Ok,

Just putting this up here for some opinions on the matter.

Tonight myself and the band were working away on an ed sheeran song as we've been asked to do it as a first dance song at a wedding. Now there are 6 of us in the band. 2 singers, 2 guitars, bass & drums. We were doing everything acoustically and a t a low level.

We were working away on the song and just trying to get one or two of the timings nailed and it was our 5th or so run through the song. The singer, decided to stop and was barely mouthing the words and so we as a band stopped, asked him to sing it properly and said we need to get this done as it's a song for the first dance.

His reaction shocked us. He stood up, crumpled the words he had typed out, threw them in my face and proceeded to storm out. On his way out he told us to s**k his c**k and the if it wasn't for the drummer and the new guitarist (who we've only hired in for certain gigs) he would have left the band ages ago.

Needless to say we we're all annoyed and actually shocked at his reaction.

So here's my question. Is it wrong to ask every member of a band to give it 100% all of the time even in practice? or should the band wait till the 'diva' is ready?

slavetothegrind

you are a working band, it's your livelyhood, same as any other workplace professionalism applies.

that said is he having something major happening in his life right now? we are all human, or is this a pattern?

the answer to your question is no, you should expect commitment and a decent work ethic.

martinedwards

agreed.

maybe he's had some devastating news and deserves some slack.....

or maybe you need another singer

Rigsby

As mentioned, perhaps something major has happened in his life. Nonetheless, IMO there is no excuse for the way in which he exited. A basic requirement for band members should be respect and consideration for the rest of the band. Also, it should be a given, that they give 100%. Regardless of a major event in his life, this person did not show any of these.

I would have thought that if it was a personal matter, he would have come around by now, realised how badly he treated the band, and got in contact to apologize.

If not, I'd be looking for a replacement.

Denalihighway

here's a novel idea in a country like ireland...why don't you talk to the guy about it?

(as opposed to setting up a thread on a forum about it)

Rigsby

Denalihighway wrote: »

here's a novel idea in a country like ireland...why don't you talk to the guy about it?

That's one possibility I suppose. However, IMO, the ball is in the "deserter's" court to make contact, and ask to talk it over. If he is mature enough and interested enough, then he'll do just that.

As for starting a thread, no harm in seeking opinions, is there ?

ahnowbrowncow

Denalihighway wrote: »

here's a novel idea in a country like ireland...why don't you talk to the guy about it?

(as opposed to setting up a thread on a forum about it)

Oh yeah, go talk to the guy who told ya to suck his d*ck and threw paper in your face :rolleyes:

He sounds like a prick. Only you know if you need him or if you can easily replace him. If it's the latter I wouldn't bother with him

Denalihighway

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Oh yeah, go talk to the guy who told ya to suck his d*ck and threw paper in your face :rolleyes:

He sounds like a prick. Only you know if you need him or if you can easily replace him. If it's the latter I wouldn't bother with him

yeah. talk to him.

i'm not talking about actually sucking the guys dick. i'm not talking about holding his hand.

ask him what his problem is, sort it out FFS rather than going on an internet forum. here in grown up land that's the best way to do things. you might find it brings you all closer to together. knowing musicians he's probably just in a strop and will be grand after a sugary cup of tea.

there are some things u don't need opinions on.

we're gas in ireland. we'd do anything to avoid confrontation.

and if the band will be grand without him then forget about him and push on.

ahnowbrowncow

Denalihighway wrote: »

yeah. talk to him.

i'm not talking about actually sucking the guys dick. i'm not talking about holding his hand.

ask him what his problem is, sort it out FFS rather than going on an internet forum. here in grown up land that's the best way to do things.

there are some things u don't need opinions on.

and if the band will be grand without him then forget about him and push on.

Maybe you love being told to suck dick but I wouldn't have anytime for the prick unless he came back to apologise, especially if you could find someone else easily enough.

No way would I go running after him and offer him a counseling session just so he might want to do what he's supposed to be do.

Denalihighway

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Maybe you love being told to suck dick but I wouldn't have anytime for the prick unless he came back to apologise, especially if you could find someone else easily enough.

No way would I go running after him and offer him a counseling session just so he might want to do what he's supposed to be do.

"I love being told to suck dick?"

"Offer him a counselling session?"

where did I say that? yes. nowhere.

if they're interested in having the guy in the band, they get together and either clear the air and move on or else you have a proper good bust up when u realise he actually is a prick and move on without him.

its quite simple really. maturity, my friend.

Going Forward

son.of.jimi wrote: »

Ok,

Just putting this up here for some opinions on the matter.

Tonight myself and the band were working away on an ed sheeran song as we've been asked to do it as a first dance song at a wedding. Now there are 6 of us in the band. 2 singers, 2 guitars, bass & drums. We were doing everything acoustically and a t a low level.

We were working away on the song and just trying to get one or two of the timings nailed and it was our 5th or so run through the song. The singer, decided to stop and was barely mouthing the words and so we as a band stopped, asked him to sing it properly and said we need to get this done as it's a song for the first dance.

His reaction shocked us. He stood up, crumpled the words he had typed out, threw them in my face and proceeded to storm out. On his way out he told us to s**k his c**k and the if it wasn't for the drummer and the new guitarist (who we've only hired in for certain gigs) he would have left the band ages ago.

Needless to say we we're all annoyed and actually shocked at his reaction.

So here's my question. Is it wrong to ask every member of a band to give it 100% all of the time even in practice? or should the band wait till the 'diva' is ready?

Group hug time.:D

On a more serious note, there are signs of immaturity here, not a bad thing in itself if the band is young of course, but unless, as others have said, there are other serious personal issues at play here, it may be time to either have an urgent meeting and sort things out quickly or just get rid of the diva if given a second chance things dont work out.

Bands are unfortunately a place where art takes over from sense, sound independent realistic guidance is usually in short supply and both strong and fragile egos abound and vie for attention and often just simple approval.

Hard to handle at the best of times! If personalities clash and if the talent is not there cut them loose.

If the talent is there, it may be worth working thru. Dont wate time turning a pigs ear into a silk purse if not.

martinedwards

Going Forward wrote: »

Dont wate time turning a pigs ear into a silk purse if not.

a pigs ear makes a great novelty key fob though.....:D

i57dwun4yb1pt8

send him a box of snickers

son.of.jimi

Yeah, it's been what 8 months since i posted that post. issues were resolved. singer was put in place after we made a show of him onstage at a few gigs.

BTW i asked for peoples opinions on the matter in-case maybe they had dealt with a similar situation, not whether i should go online and post about it. If your not smart enough to answer the question asked don't post! Simple as.

Fandango

I know that this has been resolved but my 2c anyway. Every case is different like whether it was a once off or common occurance etc. If someone in my band acted like that on a regular basis I simply wouldnt be able to put up with it as it would p*ss me off no end and also you would never know when they could let you down on an important event. Out of interest, what age is the person in question and was there a particular reason for the outburst? Dont expect you to divulge details of his private life or anything but just curious. Asking about age as we all thought acting up was rock n roll when we were younger altho never disrespected my band like that :P