advice

LegacyUser

hi all,

Yip another one of those "Im lost and dont know what to do Posts".

Long story short met a girl through a friend out in the pub about 18 months ago. Got talking to her and we've been talking on facebook and when out ever since. So basically i've been talking to her on fb and out for well over a year now.

I'm unemployed after dropping out of a third level course last year while shes at college doing a degree in teaching and she drives as well. I dunno I guess I feel like i'm not good enough for her. I've plans myself to head back to college and do a degree i'll be going down the PLC route.

A few times i've stupidly drunken messaged her on facebook telling her shes beautiful and that I really like her bla bla As soon as I woke up the next morning I'd make up some sort of excuse saying aw I was fraped or i'm sorry for wrecking your head because I was drunk etc.

Anyway I was out on Monday night and got talking to her which was grand. Again I stupidly went home and sent her a drunken message on facebook when I got up the next morning I sent her "look i'm very sorry for those messages your going to think i'm a freak " She said back I dont think your a freak I think your a really nice fella . She then asked me if I fancied going to the beach for a spin with her and a few of my mates and that I could take one of mine. I obviously said yea and she picked me up from my house. We went for a spin to a few beaches and had a good laugh. When we got back to town she asked me did I want a lift home I declined the offer as I wanted to get something to eat in hindsight I should have taken the lift with her as we would have been on our own and I could have told her that I liked or asked her to the cinema etc.

I dont know what to do now. I dont want to be texting her the whole time wrecking her head asking her on a date just don't know




Btw we're both 19.

Pa Dee

whattodo12 wrote: »

hi all,

Yip another one of those "Im lost and dont know what to do Posts".

Long story short met a girl through a friend out in the pub about 18 months ago. Got talking to her and we've been talking on facebook and when out ever since. So basically i've been talking to her on fb and out for well over a year now.

I'm unemployed after dropping out of a third level course last year while shes at college doing a degree in teaching and she drives as well. I dunno I guess I feel like i'm not good enough for her. I've plans myself to head back to college and do a degree i'll be going down the PLC route.

A few times i've stupidly drunken messaged her on facebook telling her shes beautiful and that I really like her bla bla As soon as I woke up the next morning I'd make up some sort of excuse saying aw I was fraped or i'm sorry for wrecking your head because I was drunk etc.

Anyway I was out on Monday night and got talking to her which was grand. Again I stupidly went home and sent her a drunken message on facebook when I got up the next morning I sent her "look i'm very sorry for those messages your going to think i'm a freak " She said back I dont think your a freak I think your a really nice fella . She then asked me if I fancied going to the beach for a spin with her and a few of my mates and that I could take one of mine. I obviously said yea and she picked me up from my house. We went for a spin to a few beaches and had a good laugh. When we got back to town she asked me did I want a lift home I declined the offer as I wanted to get something to eat in hindsight I should have taken the lift with her as we would have been on our own and I could have told her that I liked or asked her to the cinema etc.

I dont know what to do now. I dont want to be texting her the whole time wrecking her head asking her on a date just don't know




Btw we're both 19.

Ask her out and be quick about it. You will regret it I'd you don't

LegacyUser

Pa Dee wrote: »

Ask her out and be quick about it. You will regret it I'd you don't

Aye I keep on saying that to myself but don't know how to say it.

thefa

Stop being awkward about the whole situation. I'm referring to the denying of your feelings the night after sending her flirty texts/fb messages. Like It seems to happen a bit so I doubt she hasn't a clue that you like her at this stage. Even if she did believe that the messages were jokes or drunk ramblings then that would be even worse for someone trying to be with her I'd have thought. She hasn't told you stop texting her by the sounds of things so she's hardly taken the texts the wrong way.

No need to be calling yourself negative things like a freak when explaining messages to her or worrying about whether you're good enough for her because many women can see beyond materialistic things and want a ''nice fella''! Show confidence in yourself and your plans because that will be a hundred times more attractive. Probably easier said than done but even if you have to fake it for a while, it will come.

She's making efforts to spend time with you. Like she's not going to ask you down to the beach with just herself because that would be asking you on a date which the majority of girls do not usually do. My girlfriend of about a year started off heading for spins down to the beach with a mate each too so I can relate to your beach spin but my worry with yourself is you're waiting too long because she is not going to wait around for ever for you to ask her out.

You have a good bit of feelings for her already and will probably regret not asking her out far more in the long-run if you leave the chance go.

LegacyUser

How would I ask her out? What would be the best way?

thefa

whattodo12 wrote: »

Aye I keep on saying that to myself but don't know how to say it.

Keep it simple like look up your cinema listings for this Saturday or Sunday(whichever night she'll be free). Find something ye would both like. Comedy will work best usually. Ask her had she seen the trailer for it/what she hear about it, tell her you were thinking of going and ask her to along to it. You'll get a couple of hours in the cinema together to ease the nerves and then go for a bite to eat after.

On the odd chance she says no, just play it off and say you'll think you are going to go with a mate anyways.

LegacyUser

thefa wrote: »

Keep it simple like look up your cinema listings for this Saturday or Sunday(whichever night she'll be free). Find something ye would both like. Comedy will work best usually. Ask her had she seen the trailer for it/what she hear about it, tell her you were thinking of going and ask her to along to it. You'll get a couple of hours in the cinema together to ease the nerves and then go for a bite to eat after.

On the odd chance she says no, just play it off and say you'll think you are going to go with a mate anyways.

I only got her mobile number the other day because she had to ring me to tell her that she was outside my house so I don't know whether to text or mobile or not

Wompa1

thefa wrote: »

Keep it simple like look up your cinema listings for this Saturday or Sunday(whichever night she'll be free). Find something ye would both like. Comedy will work best usually. Ask her had she seen the trailer for it/what she hear about it, tell her you were thinking of going and ask her to along to it. You'll get a couple of hours in the cinema together to ease the nerves and then go for a bite to eat after.

On the odd chance she says no, just play it off and say you'll think you are going to go with a mate anyways.

I don't agree with this. You don't want to sit through a movie thinking you need to have talk with her after it. Or worse do you reach over and put your arm around her during it or not. You need to bring her somewhere where you can talk to her. Cafe and then for a walk would be my suggestion or a car ride.

Taltos

OP - don't text. Don't facebook.

Either do it in person or call her and ask her if she fancies going for a coffee and then maybe on somewhere for food.

Seriously - she has given you so many signals that any further delay will just result in her thinking she was wrong and moving on.

msg11

Taltos wrote: »

OP - don't text. Don't facebook.

Either do it in person or call her and ask her if she fancies going for a coffee and then maybe on somewhere for food.

Seriously - she has given you so many signals that any further delay will just result in her thinking she was wrong and moving on.

Don't see the problem with texting, in most cases these days it's the just as good as face to face. Although, you'll show more affection by doing it too her face.

Look, ask her out. Where ever, the point is to be with her get to know each other. It's hard at first, you'll laugh when you have done it. Don't mess around about it, ask her out straight. "Fancy catching a film during the week" or "Fancy going for a spin and something to eat ?" , just do it. She will think your messing her around with all these, I like you but can't ask you out signals !

LegacyUser

Aye I'm not really a fan of the cinema anyway. Thing is I don't know whether it'd be a bit cheeky asking her does she fancy a spin and something to eat as she might think i'm only using her for her car. Maybe i'm been silly and overthinking things.

I took a mate with me on the trip as well and as well as going to the beach we went to her house for ice cream and a drink and briefly met the folks.

msg11

whattodo12 wrote: »

Aye I'm not really a fan of the cinema anyway. Thing is I don't know whether it'd be a bit cheeky asking her does she fancy a spin and something to eat as she might think i'm only using her for her car. Maybe i'm been silly and overthinking things.

I took a mate with me on the trip as well and as well as going to the beach we went to her house for ice cream and a drink and briefly met the folks.

Your over thinking the whole thing. It's not the end of the world , ask her out for a drink. Dosen't matter what it is, just ask her out in general !

Herrick

whattodo12 wrote: »

Aye I'm not really a fan of the cinema anyway. Thing is I don't know whether it'd be a bit cheeky asking her does she fancy a spin and something to eat as she might think i'm only using her for her car. Maybe i'm been silly and overthinking things.

Don't mention anything about a spin, your right it could be seen as using, but more importantly, it doesn't really show your intentions.

Text her and ask her if she'd like to go for a drink/something to eat or even something fun like bowling, thats always a great one.

thefa

Wompa1 wrote: »

I don't agree with this. You don't want to sit through a movie thinking you need to have talk with her after it. Or worse do you reach over and put your arm around her during it or not. You need to bring her somewhere where you can talk to her. Cafe and then for a walk would be my suggestion or a car ride.

Would have thought watching something together would take the pressure off having to trying to keep a chat going and give something obvious to talk about afterwards but depends on the individual I suppose.

LegacyUser

Anyway I managed to pluck up the courage and I decided to ask her on a date . She text back fairly quick and said she only sees us as friends . I can't say I'm not disappointed but I'm not too disheartened.

Herrick

whattodo12 wrote: »

Anyway I managed to pluck up the courage and I decided to ask her on a date . She text back fairly quick and said she only sees us as friends . I can't say I'm not disappointed but I'm not too disheartened.

Ah man sorry to hear that But sure look, at least you know the score now. rather than wondering what might have been

Piliger

whattodo12 wrote: »

Anyway I managed to pluck up the courage and I decided to ask her on a date . She text back fairly quick and said she only sees us as friends . I can't say I'm not disappointed but I'm not too disheartened.

Sorry to her that. Better luck next time and next time why not give yourself the better chance by doing it in person.

sReq | uTeK

Piliger wrote: »

whattodo12 wrote: »

Anyway I managed to pluck up the courage and I decided to ask her on a date . She text back fairly quick and said she only sees us as friends . I can't say I'm not disappointed but I'm not too disheartened.

Sorry to her that. Better luck next time and next time why not give yourself the better chance by doing it in person.

Fair play.

At least you can get on with it instead of wondering what could have been.