How do I fix it ??

SureYWouldntYa

17 year old here. Iv a simple story. Fancied this girl in my class since first year but never got to know her until past 12 months. Fancy her even more now. A lot of our mutual friends know that i love her. We talked a lot, literally every day. Anyway a few weeks ago i got a bit of dutch courage and sent her a coded message saying that certain songs i was listening to reminded me of her. She took it with a pinch of salt until when she questioned why i done it and, i quote, "drunken words are sober thoughts". She told me through a mutual friend she wasn't interested. Heartbroken but not surprised. We agreed to forget it and stay friends so long as she could be mean to me, she's insanely nice so it's a bit different for her. She's been a lot meaner during last week, from teasing me sayin "maybe i do have a boyfriend and maybe he's better looking than you". She did apologise for that one. Last night was our grad and everyone was messy. I had to leave early to bring a drunk friend home. Texted her earlier asking how night was etc etc. I said "id ask if you were with anyone but i know the answer". She said was with a guy who i dont like but she dont know. I didnt believe her, two of our mutual friends backed her up. When second person said she was, i got so angry and punched a hole in the wall. I got really angry with her, saying why would she tease me like that over them messages a few weeks ago. She was messing and was nowhere near him. And me after eating the head of her.

How in god's name do i rectify this situation? Tell her the whole story, she thinks its just because she's blonde, its so much more. Leave it and see what she's like in a few days?

I really don't know what to do............

The Lovely Muffin

I'd move on and forget about her to be honest. She sounds very, very immature. She'd want to mature, and fast. If she acts like this with every guy who tells her he has feelings for her, she'll find herself on the shelf and won't have anyone to blame but herself.

You don't agree to be friends with someone so they can be mean to you, I mean come on.

You become friends with someone because you like that person and value their friend ship and you want to be friends with them, not so you can be mean to them.

Forget about her, move on and find someone who'll care for you the way you should be cared for. Plus, you are only 17, you have your whole life ahead of you.

As for you punching the wall - quit it. Yes you are angry, but if you are putting holes in walls you might want to look into anger management. It's not healthy to get so angry and punch things. Some day you could end up punching a person and find yourself in trouble with the guards over it.

The next time you decide to tell a girl that you fancy her (whether it's this girl or another girl) - do it face to face, not coded messages/over the phone/fb/email etc.

Piliger

OP - It sounds like both of you are dancing around the meat of the issue and playing games, even if unintentionally. Games lead to hurt, as I know you know and I can assure you of from my own life. PAIN.

You do either one of two things. You walk from this game and get on with life, or you find a way of getting her on her own, talking to her face to face, and come out with how you feel and put her on the spot to decide.

Now you may think' sh1t no!' because it's a little awkward ... and it is. But imho it's the only way to cut through the BS. She is as stuck in the game as you are and will probably come clean too. You will probably be very surprised at how people can be when they drop the game-face. If you bring sincerity, she will probably respond.

Of course that doesn't mean she will say she fancies you. She may not. But at least it will put an end to the uncertainty and the crap.

SureYWouldntYa

The Lovely Muffin wrote: »

I'd move on and forget about her to be honest. She sounds very, very immature. She'd want to mature, and fast. If she acts like this with every guy who tells her he has feelings for her, she'll find herself on the shelf and won't have anyone to blame but herself.

You don't agree to be friends with someone so they can be mean to you, I mean come on.

You become friends with someone because you like that person and value their friend ship and you want to be friends with them, not so you can be mean to them.

Forget about her, move on and find someone who'll care for you the way you should be cared for. Plus, you are only 17, you have your whole life ahead of you.

As for you punching the wall - quit it. Yes you are angry, but if you are putting holes in walls you might want to look into anger management. It's not healthy to get so angry and punch things. Some day you could end up punching a person and find yourself in trouble with the guards over it.

The next time you decide to tell a girl that you fancy her (whether it's this girl or another girl) - do it face to face, not coded messages/over the phone/fb/email etc.

Didnt really mean to say it to her and regreted it day after. Stupid dutch "courage". The being mean part was stupid, she enjoyed it a lot and i felt terrible. She isn't so much immature as naive, over everything, to quote one direction she doesnt know shes beautiful. Her being mean was a bit like a game for her

SureYWouldntYa

Piliger wrote: »

OP - It sounds like both of you are dancing around the meat of the issue and playing games, even if unintentionally. Games lead to hurt, as I know you know and I can assure you of from my own life. PAIN.

You do either one of two things. You walk from this game and get on with life, or you find a way of getting her on her own, talking to her face to face, and come out with how you feel and put her on the spot to decide.

Now you may think' sh1t no!' because it's a little awkward ... and it is. But imho it's the only way to cut through the BS. She is as stuck in the game as you are and will probably come clean too. You will probably be very surprised at how people can be when they drop the game-face. If you bring sincerity, she will probably respond.

Of course that doesn't mean she will say she fancies you. She may not. But at least it will put an end to the uncertainty and the crap.

Im seriously contemplating this, iv nothing to lose but everything to gain at this stage

Taltos

OP - she has already told you she is not interested, however it would appear that you are at least an ego boost for her.

It might be an idea to have that last talk - at least you won't have any regrets - however above all else keep your head and maintain your self-respect. As someone who has been there it is amazing what things you do now will haunt you for years to come.

TLM made a great point above in terms of your anger - punching a wall right now might have seemed like the right thing to do - and sure it burnt off the aggression / pain - however try to channel that into something else. Go for a run or something where neither you nor a wall or anything else gets damaged. You are going to hit a lot of frustrations during your life and learning how to deal with them appropriately now really will stand to you. Been there - have the t-shirt...

Best of luck no matter what you decide - but with all that messing about - well just too messy for me...

Joey the lips

This is a common situation at your age. I cannot give you any advice i feel you want me to say something to make her like you but it does not sound like she does.

If you cannot be friends then just explain to her that your feelings are too strong at the moment to be friends and you need to try get over her for a while.

Dont punch walls. They dont punch back!

Ickle Magoo

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SureYWouldntYa

Got a text there not so long ago, she apologised for everything and wants to go back to the way things were 3/4 months ago, clean slate

I said yes

But now im confused because i dont think i can

Should i still tell her the whole story and see how it goes or wing it and hope for the best?

Ham Sambo

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Got a text there not so long ago, she apologised for everything and wants to go back to the way things were 3/4 months ago, clean slate

I said yes

But now im confused because i dont think i can

Should i still tell her the whole story and see how it goes or wing it and hope for the best?

Move on bud, although I would be a little bit worried about the fact that you start punching things when you don't get your own way.

Big Bag of Chips

You're both very very young, and I hope that as you get older you realise that right now both of you are behaving stupidly.

Why would you agree to let someone be mean to you? It might start out as a laugh, but it can only end one way... With you getting pissed off!

And you need to realise you can't be punching walls just because she goes off with someone (or tells you she does) You gave her the green light to treat you like sht, so that's what she's doing... And getting a thrill from it.

The trials and troubles of being a teen!

Just forget her for a while. Stop giving her attention. If she likes you she will come looking for you.