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Ways to make noise / or piss some one off

  • 21-05-2012 10:15pm
    #1
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭


    My housemate spends three or four hours each day skyping some tramp, he has is volume up on his computer so I can hear everything she says. She's from eastern europe from the accent and I find most of them shouts instead of talking. She shouts and moans. Well sounds like moaning. I can also hear him.

    Three hours yesterday, two hours before bed last night. And again this evening, for the past two hours.

    Please help before I throw the frying pan at him.


Comments

  • #2
    Pushtrak
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,640 ✭✭✭Pushtrak


    I think your roommate has done what you are looking for masterfully. You'll never compete.


  • #3
    Tesco Massacre
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 814 ✭✭✭Tesco Massacre


    Hard luck, woman.


  • #4
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Use that mosquito noise/sound to get back?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz5VdpUVeuM


  • #5
    Defiler Of The Coffin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Defiler Of The Coffin


    Go in there and tell him to pipe the hell down. No point sitting in your room stewing


  • #6
    Jimoslimos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,930 ✭✭✭Jimoslimos


    Noisy sex


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  • #7
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,166 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    Go and get a can of WD40, a cucumber and pineapple.

    When you have completed this task I'll tell you what to do next.


  • #8
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    You could always read your own posts out loud OP.


  • #9
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,070 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Whine incessantly about it to him until he moves out


  • #10
    Supermensch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 270 ✭✭Supermensch


    Play the Safety Dance/Sweet Home Alabama on repeat.


  • #11
    Jim_Kiy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 482 ✭✭Jim_Kiy


    Tell him to turn the volume UP as you are missing out on vital snippets of the conversation.


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  • #12
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Surely trolls can come up with a good roar?


  • #13
    full_irish
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 515 ✭✭✭full_irish


    THIS


  • #14
    Tesco Massacre
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 814 ✭✭✭Tesco Massacre


    Just knock on his door and ask him politely to keep the noise down.

    If he refuses, slit his fuc*ing throat.


  • #15
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭Mrs Garth Brooks


    Fr_Dougal wrote: »
    Go and get a can of WD40, a cucumber and pineapple.

    When you have completed this task I'll tell you what to do next.

    Thats odd, I have all those. Would it matter if the pineapple is in a can?


  • #16
    Grayditch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    Learn to create music with insanely unconventional, nonsensical rhythms. Choose harsh, detuned instruments, to play this music.

    Become famous for your awful music, buy the building and kick him out.


  • #17
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Shit in his bed.


  • #18
    harvester of sorrow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 832 ✭✭✭harvester of sorrow


    LOUD NOISES....


  • #19
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    El Weirdo wrote: »
    Shit in his bed.

    While he's on skype. Comedy gold!


  • #20
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    El Weirdo wrote: »
    Shit on his chest.

    fyp


  • #21
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Turn off the router every few minutes.


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  • #22
    Laika1986
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 620 ✭✭✭Laika1986


    Tesco Massacre wrote: »
    If he refuses, slit his fuc*ing throat.

    In tesco?

    OP sing the entire HMS pinafore score, that'l learn em


  • #23
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    Turn off the router every few minutes.

    This. Oh please do this.


  • #24
    Battered Mars Bar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 672 ✭✭✭Battered Mars Bar


    Strip to your jocks and spend every evening talking to the tv and watching ads, laugh and swear at various ads and then hum to yourself in contentment when an ad finishes before jiggling your legs in excitement when a new ad starts.


  • #25
    Archeron
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,417 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Well, everybodys heard, about the bird, the word word word, the word is the bird...


  • #26
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Use Comic Sans in every email you send to him.


  • #27
    ChtuluDawn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭ChtuluDawn


    Merzbow his ass.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlGh_okr5nI


  • #28
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,166 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Thats odd, I have all those. Would it matter if the pineapple is in a can?

    Hmm...how big is the can?


  • #29
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭Mrs Garth Brooks


    Fr_Dougal wrote: »
    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Thats odd, I have all those. Would it matter if the pineapple is in a can?

    Hmm...how big is the can?

    Its a small can?


  • #30
    Jimoslimos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,930 ✭✭✭Jimoslimos


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Its a small can?
    Chunks or rings?


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  • #31
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,166 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Its a small can?

    Delmonte?


  • #32
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭Mrs Garth Brooks


    Jimoslimos wrote: »
    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Its a small can?
    Chunks or rings?

    Rings. How will all this help. I think people are just being nosy.


  • #33
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭Mrs Garth Brooks


    Fr_Dougal wrote: »
    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Its a small can?

    Delmonte?

    Thats the one. Now what?


  • #34
    mmm88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43 ✭mmm88


    Router, or trip switch :-)


  • #35
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Fr_Dougal wrote: »
    Delmonte?
    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Thats the one. Now what?
    She says, "Yes"!


  • #36
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,166 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Thats the one. Now what?

    Now you sell it on eBay and buy a proper pineapple. You can get blood poisoning from canned fruit...


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  • #37
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    The next time he's talking to her, come up to him wearing a wet white t-shirt without a bra and flirt with him. He'll be so enamoured with your breasts that he'll forget about her, and she'll be so annoyed she'll want to leave him.


  • #38
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I was going to go with the good old fashioned - talk to him, but keiths and moos ones are much better. i'd do them. well the router one if you've not got good boobs


  • #39
    Jimoslimos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,930 ✭✭✭Jimoslimos


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Rings. How will all this help. I think people are just being nosy.
    Not at all, one last question, is the tin ring pull or does it require a tin opener?







    Actually that isn't an important question but KeithM89 would like to know:pac:


  • #40
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Fr_Dougal wrote: »
    Now you sell it on eBay and buy a proper pineapple. You can get blood poisoning from canned fruit...

    Look! Behind you! A three headed monkey!


  • #41
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,166 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    chin_grin wrote: »
    Look! Behind you! A three headed monkey!

    Gooby pls.


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  • #42
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Not you again! :rolleyes:

    Have you tried doing what a normal person would do and ask him to keep it down and use headphones?


  • #43
    some random drunk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 969 ✭✭✭some random drunk


    Go make yourself a cup of tea, then threaten him and try to get into his room with a knife.


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