One night stand

LegacyUser

Hi...

I had a one night stand on saturday night, its not something I do regularly... I went back to his and then left the next day. Felt great about the whole thing at first. he asked for my numb and text me yesterday... and now I'm wondering if its just for a repeat performance.

How do you know in this situation? Is it true that guys view one night stands as easy?

I don't know what to do

solerina

Everyone is different, some guys do think a person who has a ONS is easy, some dont...anyway if you like this guy give him a chance....he has texted...that probably means he is intersted and doesnt think any less of you for having the ONS (do you think he is easy....as its the same situation for him !!!)....text back and see what happens, he deserves a chance

Piliger

if you want to find out - contact him and go on a date where it's clear from the start you have to be somewhere afterwards, and there's no prospect of sex.

LegacyUser

teastorm wrote: »

Hi...

I had a one night stand on saturday night, its not something I do regularly... I went back to his and then left the next day. Felt great about the whole thing at first. he asked for my numb and text me yesterday... and now I'm wondering if its just for a repeat performance.

How do you know in this situation? Is it true that guys view one night stands as easy?

I don't know what to do

Hi op, let me first ask before replying what is it YOU want? Do you want more non committed sex or do you want a relationship? The reason I ask is because you should base what the next step is on that.

I am male and after the end of a relationship went off the rails for awhile, I had my first ONS and ended up in a relationship with the girl when if you had of asked me beforehand I didn't see myself in a relationship place anytime soon back then.

I hope it works out for the best for you!

aidan24326

teastorm wrote: »

Is it true that guys view one night stands as easy?

Not necessarily. I'm sure there are happy couples around who met in that way. If he's only after casual sex you'll find that out quickly enough, and then it's for you to decide whether that's what you want (sounds like it isn't). But there's only way to find out. I reckon if all he was after was a meaningless shag you'd probably have never even heard from him again. So if you like him why not give it a chance.

Dravokivich

Only way you'll know is to contact him as others have said before. Don't be concerned with considering yourself "easy," given the circumstances, you could be thinking of him as being "easy," too.

sbsquarepants

teastorm wrote: »

Hi...

Felt great about the whole thing at first. he asked for my numb and text me yesterday... and now I'm wondering if its just for a repeat performance.

Just pointing out the obvious - if you felt great about it, what would be wrong with a repeat performance?
Also it's only a one night stand if you don't go back! What have you got to loose? Don't be concerned about what people think, it's none of their business.
You wanted it, he wanted it - you both went for it and had a great time, that sounds like a good result to me! Life is short, once you're happy and no one is getting messed about then i say go for it and good luck!!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. In answer no I wouldn't see him as easy... but thats because he's a guy. I know thats not necessarily the right way to think but isn't it just generally accepted that they'll always have sex if the opportunity comes up (with someone they fancy)

I haven't really thought about what I want from the situation, nothing too heavy anyway. I just don't want to get used I suppose. Maybe its just a natural reaction but since it happened I've been steadily feeling more ashamed of it. Brainwashed by society?

Sleepy

As others have said: the only way you'll know is if you go on the date with him.

Anecdotally, I'm engaged to a girl I met in similar circumstances

aidan24326

teastorm wrote: »

Maybe its just a natural reaction but since it happened I've been steadily feeling more ashamed of it. Brainwashed by society?

Nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of!! You met a guy, you both had some fun, nobody got hurt. Attitudes have changed quite a bit and you're no longer considered cheap or easy just because you go home with a guy on the first night, at least not by anyone who isn't a backward-minded idiot.

On the flipside it shows you're a confident open-minded girl who knows what she wants. So don't allow thoughts of shame to enter your mind when what you did is perectly natural. If he's a decent guy he WON'T think less of you. Meet up with him again, and like sbsquarepants said it's no longer a one-night stand then anyway is it?

ihsb

teastorm wrote: »

I haven't really thought about what I want from the situation, nothing too heavy anyway. I just don't want to get used I suppose. Maybe its just a natural reaction but since it happened I've been steadily feeling more ashamed of it. Brainwashed by society?

You have to get clear in your head what you want from it.

I don't think that you should feel ashamed by what you did, but if you do then maybe the casual sex thing isn't for you. I wouldn't say it is society brainwashing you, it might be just the way that you are.

If you like him and would like to go out and meet him again, then do it and see where it goes. Doesn't mean you have to sleep with him again, but if you do then just make sure you are okay with it!

sbsquarepants

Don't over analyse it. You went out, met someone nice and had a nice time. Why make it out to be something sordid or shameful? You'll only needlessly upset yourself thinking like that, there is absolutely nothing wrong in anything you've done. There probably is an element of programming by society, but think logicaly about it and you'll realise that it's bullshít (as it usually is)
You had a good time, surely that is a positive? So where's the problem?
The answer is there isn't one, unless you create it.
10 years from now you could be married to this guy with a tribe of kids running around, or he could be just a distant memory, there's no way of knowing right now - but a large part of the fun in life is in finding out, so find out!

G-Money

teastorm wrote: »

I know thats not necessarily the right way to think but isn't it just generally accepted that they'll always have sex if the opportunity comes up (with someone they fancy)

Just regarding this, it is definitely not true and the sooner people realise that, the better.

Wompa1

I wouldn't get into a relationship with a girl I had a one night stand with and I doubt I'm the only person that thinks that way. I want to be in a relationship and have it seem like it means something when we have sex. That's hard to find in this day and age though.

Jesus Shaves

Wompa1 wrote: »

I wouldn't get into a relationship with a girl I had a one night stand with and I doubt I'm the only person that thinks that way. I want to be in a relationship and have it seem like it means something when we have sex. That's hard to find in this day and age though.

So you wouldn't get into a relationship with a girl you had a one night stand with because you think she's easy?
Am i missing something here or did you not also have a one night stand?

I really don't understand fella's who think that a girl is easy because she slept with someone the first time they met, there's 2 people in it both having consenting sex, It's no harm and if it leads onto something good then why not give it a try

branbee

Op i was in a similar position recently- met a great guy and went back to his. Like you, it was my first time not being in a relationship or anything before it. I was starting to think a bit like you afterwards. And you know what? I don't care anymore- it was fun, it was safe, we both wanted to, why should we need to wait for a certain process to happen before we do. As the guy said to me after- just because we had fun in his bed together, it doesn't change who we both are outside those four walls- he doesn't think any less of me just because we both enjoyed something together, why should he?

Maybe my attitude is a bit different because Im not hoping for a serious relationship, just some dating and fun, and that is what we are doing- and believe it or not he has treated me more like a lady than any guy before him! Give the guy a chance, have some fun and see what happens, don't worry about what people think, do what YOU want. Just be safe.

Faith

Sleepy wrote: »

As others have said: the only way you'll know is if you go on the date with him.

Anecdotally, I'm engaged to a girl I met in similar circumstances

Indeed. I had a one night stand 4 years ago, and he moved in with me on Friday. That ONS turned into a relationship that survived years of long distance and a break up. I'd never have thought it at the time, but I ended up going on a date with him and it went from there.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You had a night of (presumably) great sex - just try to remember the enjoyment you got. There's nothing wrong with it at all.

RandolphEsq

darokane wrote: »

So you wouldn't get into a relationship with a girl you had a one night stand with because you think she's easy?
Am i missing something here or did you not also have a one night stand?

I really don't understand fella's who think that a girl is easy because she slept with someone the first time they met, there's 2 people in it both having consenting sex, It's no harm and if it leads onto something good then why not give it a try

It's different though for men having one night stands then for women. Obviously women can get it pretty easily if they want.

Jumping into bed with someone you just met is not a good way to start a meaningful relationship.

Wompa1

RandolphEsq wrote: »

It's different though for men having one night stands then for women. Obviously women can get it pretty easily if they want.

Jumping into bed with someone you just met is not a good way to start a meaningful relationship.

Uh Oh! This will not end well....You may want to edit that!

Susie_Q

RandolphEsq wrote: »

It's different though for men having one night stands then for women. Obviously women can get it pretty easily if they want.

Jumping into bed with someone you just met is not a good way to start a meaningful relationship.

I slept with my boyfriend on our first date. We are together 5 years this year and have a fantastic (and meaningful!) relationship.

Generalisations and out-dated views of women's sexuality are really not helpful.

flowerchild

Susie_Q wrote: »

Generalisations and out-dated views of women's sexuality are really not helpful.

They may be. Perhaps the poster wants a reaction.

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

I wasn't looking for a 'reaction' as such, just opinions. I just started to doubt myself. To update you anyways we went for a drink on friday night (no other shenanigans involved) and had a great time. It was actually really really nice and I'm seeing him again this week.

So it looks like he hasn't judged me too quickly over it and alls well that ends well

curlzy

RandolphEsq wrote: »

It's different though for men having one night stands then for women. Obviously women can get it pretty easily if they want.

Jumping into bed with someone you just met is not a good way to start a meaningful relationship.

LOL, this made me laugh. I really wonder what way I'm viewed by backwards thinking people. On one hand I'm 30 years of age and I've only ever slept with 2 people, so not easy per se. On the other hand I slept with my fiancée BEFORE our first date, I fancied him and dragged him off to bed to rock his world and then the next day we went on our first date to the cinema and dinner , still going strong 6 years later. So yeah I often wonder what way I would be classified; a prude who's only slept with 2 people or a easy lay who hopped into bed with a guy she'd never even dated?

OP, as you can see the world is made up of all kinds, judgemental people, free spirited sexually liberated people and people who just don't care either way. I think rather than figuring out the "rights" and "wrongs" (there's no such thing as right or wrong BTW on this subjective issue) you should figure out where you stand on the subject, personally I couldn't be with someone who would judge me for doing something he did too, I couldn't be with someone that stupid.

BTW, I'm delighted you had a brilliant time on your second date, he's obviously a good one, enjoy him!!!

Mr Bump

Keep an open mind, us males are not all that bad, sometimes the connection is just there, and maybe this was one of those times,

teastorm wrote: »

Hi...

I had a one night stand on saturday night, its not something I do regularly... I went back to his and then left the next day. Felt great about the whole thing at first. he asked for my numb and text me yesterday... and now I'm wondering if its just for a repeat performance.

How do you know in this situation? Is it true that guys view one night stands as easy?

I don't know what to do

Piliger

teastorm wrote: »

Hey guys,

I wasn't looking for a 'reaction' as such, just opinions. I just started to doubt myself. To update you anyways we went for a drink on friday night (no other shenanigans involved) and had a great time. It was actually really really nice and I'm seeing him again this week.

So it looks like he hasn't judged me too quickly over it and alls well that ends well

Looks like you did exactly the right thing.

Delighted !

Elmer Blooker

RandolphEsq wrote: »

It's different though for men having one night stands then for women. Obviously women can get it pretty easily if they want.

Jumping into bed with someone you just met is not a good way to start a meaningful relationship.

But it is different for men when it comes to ons.
How many times has there been threads on boards from women who feel used after a ons?
What's wrong with me?..... why didn't he call?.... am I unattractive? etc
I have never seen a similar thread started by a guy, maybe there has been but I've never seen one.
The reaction to RandolphEsq's post was out of order. He expressed his valid opinion.

Ickle Magoo

teastorm wrote: »

Hey guys,

I wasn't looking for a 'reaction' as such, just opinions. I just started to doubt myself. To update you anyways we went for a drink on friday night (no other shenanigans involved) and had a great time. It was actually really really nice and I'm seeing him again this week.

So it looks like he hasn't judged me too quickly over it and alls well that ends well

As you no longer require advice, I'll lock this thread then OP.

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Many thanks.


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