Lost my confidence?

LegacyUser

In the last 2 years I've experienced a lot of mental health problems, particularly self harming, depression and anxiety. It was cause by a combination of things- mainly working in an awful work enviroment. I got away from that company, got into a new job and within a month I walked out (due to bullying issues with other staff that I wasn't strong enough to cope with).
Once I went out of work I got really bad, I stopped wanting to meet up with friends and wouldn't talk to anyone. Everything was just black to me and I couldn't dig myself out. Eventually my boyfriend got me to talk about it. He was wonderful and supported me fully. Together he helped me beat the problems and we grew stronger because of it.

I'm feeling a lot more like me again for the first time in a long time. I started making time for things I love doing and making an effort to reconnect with old friends.

I'm starting to feel like I want to go back to work again and while I love the idea of getting up every morning again and spenting my days doing something good, the idea of an interview scares me. It makes me feel anxious and I don't think I'm ready to face it.
I didn't show for my last 3 interviews I'd arranged after I went out of work, I couldn't face them. I used to be pure confidence, always did amazing work and could out preform anyone. I just don't know if I have that in me again.

The boyfriend has been amazing through all of this and if it wasn't for him I would probably not be here today. He doesn't want me to go back to work yet, he's afraid I'll rush myself and end up in a bad palce again. I'm afraid of that myself. But I see all my friends who are finished college now getting grown up jobs and going on fancy holidays or saving for houses and I feel like I'm being left behing. I just want to move on with my life.

I'm just afraid I've lost that confident side to myself and that really scares me. I'm not good at much in this world but I was always great at chatting away to people, closing the deals and hitting targets. I just don't know if i can do it any more...

donbon

Lost my confidence? wrote: »

due to bullying issues with other staff that I wasn't strong enough to cope with

It sounds like you are blaming yourself. It's not your fault and you shouldn't of had to endure any form of bullying in the work environment, it is totally wrong and unprofessional to say the least. Don't let other people damage your sense of self-worth. As you said in your post you are good at your job and with people so try to not let this bad experience get the better of you.

inda_kenny

Lost my confidence? wrote: »

In the last 2 years I've experienced a lot of mental health problems, particularly self harming, depression and anxiety. It was cause by a combination of things- mainly working in an awful work enviroment. I got away from that company, got into a new job and within a month I walked out (due to bullying issues with other staff that I wasn't strong enough to cope with).
Once I went out of work I got really bad, I stopped wanting to meet up with friends and wouldn't talk to anyone. Everything was just black to me and I couldn't dig myself out. Eventually my boyfriend got me to talk about it. He was wonderful and supported me fully. Together he helped me beat the problems and we grew stronger because of it.

I'm feeling a lot more like me again for the first time in a long time. I started making time for things I love doing and making an effort to reconnect with old friends.

I'm starting to feel like I want to go back to work again and while I love the idea of getting up every morning again and spenting my days doing something good, the idea of an interview scares me. It makes me feel anxious and I don't think I'm ready to face it.
I didn't show for my last 3 interviews I'd arranged after I went out of work, I couldn't face them. I used to be pure confidence, always did amazing work and could out preform anyone. I just don't know if I have that in me again.

The boyfriend has been amazing through all of this and if it wasn't for him I would probably not be here today. He doesn't want me to go back to work yet, he's afraid I'll rush myself and end up in a bad palce again. I'm afraid of that myself. But I see all my friends who are finished college now getting grown up jobs and going on fancy holidays or saving for houses and I feel like I'm being left behing. I just want to move on with my life.

I'm just afraid I've lost that confident side to myself and that really scares me. I'm not good at much in this world but I was always great at chatting away to people, closing the deals and hitting targets. I just don't know if i can do it any more...

i suffered a crisis in confidence many years ago due to having experienced bullying in the workplace, that managment were awfull in how they dealt with it made the problem even worse , i was forced to leave

let me give you some advice , the longer you stay hiding under the covers, the harder it is to bounce back and be the person you once were and the person you were meant to be , sometimes you need a fresh goal in order to reinvigorate yourself and get your mojo back , some people decide to travel abroad for a year , some merley join some new local clubs and take up a new activity , you need to challenge yourself however , depression if it takes hold is extremley difficult to shake off entirely and life with depression is only half living , i know , im but a shadow of what i used to be , unfortunatley i couldnt see the right moves at the time and had no one to advise me , im older now and while i can look back and see what should have been done , im left with a permanent greyness which was never there before , enough about me though , stand up , be brave ( we are all braver than we realise ) even you are **** scared and dive in the deep end , the alternative is much scarier , trust me