What can I do??

personaltrainer

ok short as possible....
boyfriend of 2 and a half years have all the regular arguments ect live together own a lot of stuff together ages both 27.
last tues nyt he went to work and i got a text (yes a text) saying he thinks we should break up...we said we'd talk the following day Wednesday.
hes totally adament bout this says he just doesnt want to be in a relationship blah blah blah... i am DEVASTATED... hes found a new house to move into leaving me in a house with 2 other guys who i only know through him....what can i do to get him back? HELP please im willing to do anything i just cannot stop crying

LegacyUser

Oh darling. There is really nothing you can do only sit it out. Talk to your family/friends. Those that you know you well. Maybe move home for a couple of days or in with a friend if an option. Chasing somebody that wants out, is possibly the worst thing you could do. As hard as it is, it is best to leave him be, for now anyway. Maybe he will come back with an explanation or something, I don't know. Keep yourself busy and surrounded by fam/friends who will support you at this difficult time. Sending you big hugs. xx

_dublinlad_

First off - what an absolute coward he is sending you that text. Two and a half years and he dosent have the decency to look you in the eye and let you hear him out? You didnt give any details of what he is like, but judging by that he has the emotional intelligence of a potato.

Unfortunately there is no easy answer or magic tricks to get him back. If he wants out there is nothing you can do. This of course is very hard to come to terms with, when every fiber of your being wants to get him back. But the sooner you get to the acceptance stage of a break up the sooner you will begin to heal.

My only advice would be to keep your dignity very much intact. Let him know you are hurt, ask him why, but do not beg. Do not try to use logic or reasoning to get him back. Then cut all contact, facebook, email, phone number... delete him from your world... pack up cds, clothes, gifts, all reminders of him and chuck it out or put it out of sight.

I really do feel for you, I was you 3 months ago (by text message aswell)... You feel like your world is caving and no matter how many people are around you - you still feel lonely right? It will get better, take evey day as it comes and you will come out of this a stronger person. I have.

All the very best.

Stavro Mueller

There is nothing you can do. Nor should you do anything. It takes 2 people 2 make a relationship and when 1 decides they want out, that's the end of that.

Your boyfriend has very much slammed the car into reverse & headed for the hills. I get the impression that he had pre-planned this. It was cowardly to break up by text too.

He didn't waste any time in moving out either. It's likely that he was having doubts about this relationship for a while. Either he is a great actor or you were too loved up to spot the warning signs. In relationships where one person dumps another, it can happen that the dumper has emotionally moved on from the relationship before the dumpee even gets the bad news. This might be the case here as he has already moved out and left you behind.

You won't want to hear any of this advice but the wisest thing to do now is cut contact with your ex. It is unlikely you will get back together so you will only be giving yourself false hope if you stay in touch. Delete his number from your phone. If you are on Facebook get rid of him from that. Ignore his texts. Better still block his number if you can. Go talk/cry/whatever to any family or friends you feel you can lean on at this tough time. Most of all don't even attempt to win him back.

Lorna123

It's a terrible shock OP when that happens. It happened to me many years ago and I contacted the guy and wanted answers. I never got a satisfactory answer and looking back I am now sorry that I just didn't ignore him. I should never have asked for an explanation, I should have just accepted that it was over and never let him know how I felt about it. Looking back I think that the least said the better would have been the correct way to deal with it. I hope you get the courage to do this. It is the best way to hold your dignity. It doesn't matter what way he did it the outcome is still the same. So best not to dwell on this and move on. I met a far nicer guy after my experience, so I am sure you will too.

hondasam

personaltrainer wrote: »

ok short as possible....
boyfriend of 2 and a half years have all the regular arguments ect live together own a lot of stuff together ages both 27.
last tues nyt he went to work and i got a text (yes a text) saying he thinks we should break up...we said we'd talk the following day Wednesday.
hes totally adament bout this says he just doesnt want to be in a relationship blah blah blah... i am DEVASTATED... hes found a new house to move into leaving me in a house with 2 other guys who i only know through him....what can i do to get him back? HELP please im willing to do anything i just cannot stop crying

I'm not making excuses for him but the txt was probably the only way he could start the conversation. It's not nice or ideal but he did not have the guts or courage to tell you in person.
Give him time to himself and see what happens. The fact he has sorted a place to live so soon means he has been thinking about it for awhile.
Staying with the other guys is not an issue, you know them.