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Is there such a thing as too much counselling

  • 10-05-2012 7:47am
    #1
    cgh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭


    where to start,
    the wife and I are on the long road to reconcilliation, this all my fault and it has taken a long time for us to get to where we are now.
    we have both been to individual counselling and both been to joint marriage counselling.
    this has helped in the past, but the last time we went to the marraige counsellor we were told that the rest of the work was up to us and that if there was anything that we couldnt discuss or were finding difficult to get over that we should contact themselves and arrange to meet to help us get through it.
    then yesterday out of the blue the wife says that she was in touch with the counsellor and wants to book a session.
    now I'm baffled, we didnt even discuss this nor did we agree that we were having a particular issue that we needed to discuss. I mentioned this and all i was abruptly told was that I'm not communicating my feelings to her.
    I have agreed to go, but what is going on here.


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - this forum is more appropriate to your issue.


  • #3
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    I believe that some people can become hooked on counselling.

    There is no way I can make a useful comment on your wife's action. Why not bring it up during the counselling session? It is an issue.


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I think this has less about over-indulging in counselling and more about you and your wife's inability to communicate effectively...that being the case counselling to address that issue - if you wish it addressed - seems like a sensible thing to do.

    All the best.


  • #5
    cgh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭cgh


    thanks for that bit of advice, I do plan on bringing it up.
    wlaking on egg shells isnt a gret feeling to be honest


  • #6
    Juicyfruit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 240 ✭✭Juicyfruit


    Seems that to your wife, counselling is the only place the 2 of you can communicate properly and she feels that rather than try and communicate with you and hit a wall she'd rather go to the counselling to sort out this particular problem effectively. Because she knows it works..


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  • #7
    Piliger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    cgh wrote: »
    where to start,
    the wife and I are on the long road to reconcilliation, this all my fault and it has taken a long time for us to get to where we are now.
    we have both been to individual counselling and both been to joint marriage counselling.
    this has helped in the past, but the last time we went to the marraige counsellor we were told that the rest of the work was up to us and that if there was anything that we couldnt discuss or were finding difficult to get over that we should contact themselves and arrange to meet to help us get through it.
    then yesterday out of the blue the wife says that she was in touch with the counsellor and wants to book a session.
    now I'm baffled, we didnt even discuss this nor did we agree that we were having a particular issue that we needed to discuss. I mentioned this and all i was abruptly told was that I'm not communicating my feelings to her.
    I have agreed to go, but what is going on here.

    OP I guess it depends on what your priorities are.

    Counselling is not just for both people because both people are having issues. It is often for one partner and the other goes along with it because they love their partner. Maybe there is an issue or issues that she doesn't want to discuss with you in person but she feels more confident doing it in another setting. Maybe you are intimidating, maybe not intentionally.

    Does it do any harm going along with it and seeing where it leads ?


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