Upset girlfriend

cloptrop

I got a bit wasted the other night and wrote lyrics for about five songs , most of it not great , but some of it decent . Im not long at this . The thing is though the girlfriend confronted me a few days later claiming some song was about her and Im a this and that and how dare I.
Its kinda why I never bothered trying to write songs until now , people looking at them haha.
Im not even sure how she found herself in the song , Im hoping its one of them poetic pieces of genius that make everyone find a different meaning to it , but I think its just the ramblings of a drunk man. She pretty much had it memorised.
IS this something that plagues a songwriter, always worrying about offending someone close? Should I just put them in a locked box ?
When Bob wrote like a rolling stone did the missus cut one leg of every pair of trousers he had in revenge?

Rigsby

The way I see it, it's not you that has a problem, but your girlfriend. If she interprets your song lyrics in a negative way, then that is something only she can deal with. The only thing you can do is to reassure her that the lyrics were not about her. If she does not believe you, then the most important ingredient in a relationship, i.e. trust, is not there. It could be an ominous sign of future, more serious issues to come.

rcaz

Dump her, she's getting in the way of your rock and roll lifestyle anyway :pac:

Srsly though, of course you might worry about offending people when you're writing songs, songs are extremely important personal things (hell, anything that carries a meaning is). But if you start to let that affect your songwriting, it'll only make your songs weaker, not stronger. Your songs have to be 100% unadulterated you, anything less than that isn't good enough, it isn't right.

You're a big Dylan fan - do you really think Dylan ever gave a **** what anyone else thought about anything he wrote? :pac:

Bob Dylan wrote:

You've got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend.

We can all learn from the man's example.

CrimsonSounds

The other night, BBC had a fantastic documentary on Fleetwood Mac. For those who don't know, the album "Roumers" was written and recorded as the couples relationships in the band were falling apart. If you look at the lyrics, you can see them singing to each other - and the messages weren't always positive !

Stevie Nicks spoke about this, and said that they needed to play gigs night in, night out, and they were on the same stage singing about their failing relationships to each other. It was a case of "get on with the job" and she called it an excercise in mass denial.

As songwriters, the lyrical portion of the process can often draw on personal life situations and observations - that's the nature of the beast.

In your situation, the songs are yours, written by you, and just so happen to have content about a certain partner. This gives you one of 2 options:

1) Play them proud - and acknowledge the girls feelings, and ask that she supports you in it - for good and for bad. Depending on the content and the girl, this may be impossible to do if she is still in your life and protesting in your ear.

2) Box them up.

Only you can decide which is the best outcome as you have to live with the decision.

It sounds like you have hit some nerves, and the girl is very insecure about anyone hearing your thoughts - understandable I guess.

Good luck - this is one of the trickiest things to navigate if you are bringing your personal life into your art !

kevin65

Songwriting is a talent, and should be nurtured. There are many others, myself included, who would be envious of your ability to write original material. Best of luck.

eoin5

Shes either taking it too seriously or just looking for something to get upset about, you could just play an Anal C*nt cover to her for context.

SuzyDaFloozy

y dont u talk to her about it instead of cryin about it on a forum!

SuzyDaFloozy

or better yet u cud write a song about it! U cud call it, my girlfriend doesnt understand me! How dare she accuse u of writin about her in a song, ur savin dat for an internet forum, de paranoid b'tch

MrStuffins

SuzyDaFloozy wrote: »

y dont u talk to her about it instead of cryin about it on a forum!

SuzyDaFloozy wrote: »

or better yet u cud write a song about it! U cud call it, my girlfriend doesnt understand me! How dare she accuse u of writin about her in a song, ur savin dat for an internet forum, de paranoid b'tch

You realise posts on Boards aren't confined to 160 characters right?

To the OP:

Dude, it's a tough spot you're in but it's not her place to be telling you what to do. Don't give in to her. A lot of the best songs ever written have been about relationships!

My girlfriend (kinda) does this to me. When she hears our songs she always asks me can she see the lyrics. She doesn't admit that she wants to see what i've written about her, but I know that's what it is.

Thing is, the songs are never about her. (Nor are they ever about anyone in particular either, at least not in a direct way).

If she doesn't want you writing about her, agree not to do it. But, from the sounds of it, don't be surprised that when you continue to write songs she starts asking you who the other girls are that you are writing about :P

rcaz

SuzyDaFloozy, please type properly, text speak is a pain in the hole to read through. Also, be a bit more constructive/less offensive with your posts. Thanks.

The Jammy dodger

cloptrop wrote: »

I got a bit wasted the other night and wrote lyrics for about five songs , most of it not great , but some of it decent . Im not long at this . The thing is though the girlfriend confronted me a few days later claiming some song was about her and Im a this and that and how dare I.
Its kinda why I never bothered trying to write songs until now , people looking at them haha.
Im not even sure how she found herself in the song , Im hoping its one of them poetic pieces of genius that make everyone find a different meaning to it , but I think its just the ramblings of a drunk man. She pretty much had it memorised.
IS this something that plagues a songwriter, always worrying about offending someone close? Should I just put them in a locked box ?
When Bob wrote like a rolling stone did the missus cut one leg of every pair of trousers he had in revenge?

Secretly I bet she is loving the attention.

Whats the song about by the way? Well thats all it is, its just rambling. Your girlfriends will come and ago, but your music and writing will always remain.

I had a girlfriend who once put my guitar in the bin. :eek:

Herb Powell

The Jammy dodger wrote: »

Secretly I bet she is loving the attention.

Whats the song about by the way? Well thats all it is, its just rambling. Your girlfriends will come and ago, but your music and writing will always remain.

I had a girlfriend who once put my guitar in the bin. :eek:

WTF

Quirkygirl

Dump her! Ok joking. Tell her it's not about her even if it is. If she doesn't believe you then dump her! Sing your songs and be proud. Serious.

the_syco

cloptrop wrote: »

Should I just put them in a locked box ?

Maybe put the lyrics in a locked box until you reread them when you're sober for the time being, as she sounds a bit of a looper tbh.

smokedeels

Inform her that you will only accept criticism in the form of a diss track, see: Frankee vs Eamon

martinedwards

my WIFE still complains about a song I wrote for her 25 years ago.

it was a blues song.

it was along the lines of "i can't stand her, shes gone, I'm better off without her, she's ugly, she spends all my money and I'm glad shes gone......

NOOOOOOOOO I miss her i love her I can't live without her!!!!!"

she's only now, JUST starting to see the funny side.

slavetothegrind

well Martin at leat she can't say you didn't warn her!! :P