Toilet Roll - What Brand do You use?

Recessionbust

Hoping this wont be a s**tty thread but what brand of Toilet roll do you use?
Does it matter if its 2 or 4 ply , Pink or white etc etc?

I Use the Cushion Soft coz its best value and you dont feel like your wiping your backside with a sheet of sandpaper

CardBordWindow

I use Hipster Toilet Paper.

You probably never heard of it.

TheBody

I'm not that bothered about what type of brand. Cheap and cheerful suits me fine.

FatherLen

i wipe my arse with the andrex dog.

Mr.Crinklewood

Whatever is on offer.

ejmaztec

Brown bath-towel.

Recessionbust

FatherLen wrote: »

i wipe my arse with the andrex dog.

At least thats not wuff

Hesh's Umpire

The Star - Ireland's Brightest Daily

Lionel Messy

This is a w.ankers thread.

TheBody

Sometimes I drag my arse off the carpet like the dog!!

jester77

Poor mans bidet ftw, lift the seat, crouch and let the flush do its magic... quick wipe of a towel to dry off and you're good to go

petes

Works!!

Sergeant

Nothing less than good quality 4-ply ever goes near my sheriff's badge.

WindSock

I've inserted a cigar cutter into my my poop chute that is activated by clenching my sphincter muscle at the moment when the turtles head makes an appearance. No mess, no fuss. A clean break as you will.

Seachmall

I buy 4 ply and strip it down so I get 4 rolls of 1 ply.

Aw yeah!

fasttalkerchat

The neck of a swan

davet82

I use sandpaper as i am a devout member of Opus Dei

harperlee

Toilet Roll is so bad for you, It ruins the skin down there. Really we should be using a cotton cloth and clean water. Cut up some old t-shirts and leave them in the bathroom. Boil wash them with non- bio powder and a good fabric softener when your done.

Stiffler2

Pfffft. Toilet paper is for loosers mate.

Seachmall

Stiffler2 wrote: »

Pfffft. Toilet paper is for loosers mate.

bebostunnah? Is that you??

Nothingbetter2d

i use this brand



leaves NO dangleberries behind

shrewdness

Just jump in the shower and turn the shower head to its most powerful spray, direct at affected area and let all excess faecal matter flow down the drain. Wipe off with a towel afterwards, but if there's any brown stains, you're doing it wrong.

c_man

jester77 wrote: »

Poor mans bidet ftw, lift the seat, crouch and let the flush do its magic... quick wipe of a towel to dry off and you're good to go

What's wrong with simply sticking your arse in the sink and splashing some water upwards? Dry with nearest facecloth.

christmas2012

shops own brand ..why wipe your ass with the good part of a tenner?doesnt make sense..

mongdesade

Sponge on a stick

McCrack

This is why I hate going into AH

Threads like this

A load of absolute ****e

Battered Mars Bar

I use the three sea shells..what? You mean to say you don't know how to use the three sea shells? *pompous snigger*

forfuxsake

for a sh1t -aldi own brand
for a **** -andrex super-quilted double velvet cotton

cursai

I use Irish Independent.

Stiffler2

Seachmall wrote: »

bebostunnah? Is that you??

Nope - fraid knot.

I wipe my arse with my hand.
then I lick my hand clean.

whatever cheapest but not to cheap i have standards lol

Nothingbetter2d

Stiffler2 wrote: »

Nope - fraid knot.

I wipe my arse with my hand.
then I lick my hand clean.

i was wondering why your breathe stank of sh1t

Seachmall

Stiffler2 wrote: »

Nope - fraid knot.

I wipe my arse with my hand.
then I lick my hand clean.

So the shift will leave the taste of poo in people's mouths?

That's far more efficient than bebostunnah's method of bringing them home!

Good job, sir.

Stiffler2

Seachmall wrote: »

So the shift will leave the taste of poo in people's mouths?

That's far more efficient than bebostunnah's method of bringing them home!

Good job, sir.

here here

JustAddWater

WindSock wrote: »

I've inserted a cigar cutter into my my poop chute that is activated by clenching my sphincter muscle at the moment when the turtles head makes an appearance. No mess, no fuss. A clean break as you will.

What happens after a pint of cider?

Nothingbetter2d

JustAddWater wrote: »

What happens after a pint of cider?

it probably rusts

some random drunk

I'd like to bring out my own line of toilet paper. I'd call it "Bog Standard".

Chamone MF

I use eircom toilet paper, delivered free each month.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I have an Angorra long haired rabbit that i wipe my arse with. I then wash him and let him run around outside to dry so that he's ready for the next 'toilet time' I call him Charmin.

jester77

c_man wrote: »

What's wrong with simply sticking your arse in the sink and splashing some water upwards? Dry with nearest facecloth.

If I tried to stick my arse in the sink, it and me would end up on the ground with shards of armitage shanks wedged in my hole!

sunflower27

I get the Nicky brand in Dunnes. 9 rolls for €2.87. Bargain.

Nothingbetter2d

jester77 wrote: »

If I tried to stick my arse in the sink, it and me would end up on the ground with shards of armitage shanks wedged in my hole!

i bet you like getting shanked in the hole

Mickey Dazzler

Ever since a visit to thailand I use the back of my hand.