found wedding cheques - what would you do?

miguelk

I'm after finding 3 wedding gifts (cheques) that were never lodged. Must have been put aside and I only came across them now. The wedding was 17 months ago so I'm sure the banks won't honour them.

Would you take the hit on them or explain to the guest who gave it that it was mislaid?

Very hard to go back back now and say it to them, one is from a friend of my OH's and the other 2 are friends of her parents.

Since I didn't know they were there until today I'm tempted to let it lie but at the same time we could do with the funds!

Any opinions?

Misticles

You could mention it to the people but they could say that they will honour it or they may not have the funds to honour it at the minute.

If you know anything about their financial situations I would use that to answer your question, could avoid any unwanted embarassement on their behalves

lazygal

I think its a judgment call. I know I could get my parents/inlaws to ask a relative about it as they're close enough not to take offence, but I'd shy away from asking our friends as they might be a bit miffed we were careless about the cheques.

Personally I would just take the hit on them. As feckin annoying as that would be. I couldn't bring myself to asking for them to be honoured after such a long time.

Are any of them bank drafts? or are they all personal cheques?

miguelk

Deleted User wrote: »

Personally I would just take the hit on them. As feckin annoying as that would be. I couldn't bring myself to asking for them to be honoured after such a long time.

Are any of them bank drafts? or are they all personal cheques?

They're all personal cheques unfortunately. thanks for the input.

Cathmandooo

I would leave it definitely. 17 months is a long time, while they could cover the money back then their situations may have changed now and that money might not be so available in their accounts.

I wouldn't ask them about it either, it would be putting them in an awkward position, how could they say no to you then. They don't owe you the money so I'd let it go.

That's a pity. I'd say you wished you hadn't found them!

Let us know the outcome!

bp

have you thanked these people for the present? I only ask because they may think you never got the cheque if it never cashed and you never thanked them. I got a cheque from friends of my parents and they called my parents after two weeks to make sure I got the cheque because we hadn't lodged it or sent the thank you card yet.

Personally I think take the hit as bad as it is - people's finances may have changed in the past 17 months, also the giver will see the cheque only being cashed now and may be worried that someone else stole it etc

miguelk

Cathmandooo wrote: »

I would leave it definitely. 17 months is a long time, while they could cover the money back then their situations may have changed now and that money might not be so available in their accounts.

I wouldn't ask them about it either, it would be putting them in an awkward position, how could they say no to you then. They don't owe you the money so I'd let it go.

Ok - just to clear up the financial situation.

All of the 3 are fairly well off, otherwise I wouldn't contemplate saying it.

miguelk

bp wrote: »

have you thanked these people for the present? I only ask because they may think you never got the cheque if it never cashed and you never thanked them. I got a cheque from friends of my parents and they called my parents after two weeks to make sure I got the cheque because we hadn't lodged it or sent the thank you card yet.

Personally I think take the hit as bad as it is - people's finances may have changed in the past 17 months, also the giver will see the cheque only being cashed now and may be worried that someone else stole it etc

Ya, they all got thanked I'm glad to say. All gifts were put into "the book" as we got them and we worked from that,

These 3 cheques were missed as they were made out differently to e.g. my wife with our new surnames, or both of us together, and were put aside to be dealt with/lodged separately but got missed when we moved house.

Not that these details make any difference, the principal is the same, we screwed up and there's something that doesn't sit right coming back for it at a later date.

Its a tough one to swallow though, seeing the €€ in front of you but not being able to get it!

Sleepy

Assuming I knew the people in question wouldn't object, I'd probably fire the three cheques into a quick-lodgement envelope and hope for the best.

Couldn't see myself asking them for fresh cheques though!

miguelk

Sleepy wrote: »

Assuming I knew the people in question wouldn't object, I'd probably fire the three cheques into a quick-lodgement envelope and hope for the best.

Couldn't see myself asking them for fresh cheques though!

hmm...good point, minimal awkward cringy conversations!

tinkerbell

Like Sleepy said, I think you should try and lodge them, if they won't lodge then leave it. It was 17 months ago, it would be REALLY cheeky to ask for a new cheque - regardless of if you think they are well off, they might not actually be right now. Put it down as an expensive mistake to make!

hoodwinked

Sleepy wrote: »

Assuming I knew the people in question wouldn't object, I'd probably fire the three cheques into a quick-lodgement envelope and hope for the best.

Couldn't see myself asking them for fresh cheques though!

this is what i would do too! at the end of the day they chose cheque as a method of payment, and thus should have technically known you could have waited months to cash them.

i wouldn't go back and say it to them though id be too embarrassed! id do as sleepy said if its ok with them you'll find out if they cash or not.

The Big Red Button

Personally, I'd rip them up and forget about it.

If it helps, try not to see it as you "taking the hit" - it's money you didn't know about in the first place, so your own financial situation remains unchanged.

No matter how well off they seem, you can't know what major expenses they have coming up, summer holidays, more weddings to plan around, etc. They would have budgeted to gift you with an amount that they could afford and that they felt to be appropriate seventeen months ago. Lots might have changed for them since then, and it's not necessarily going to suit them to hand over an equivalent cheque now. Now, chances are they'd DO it alright - but I'd imagine it would leave all involved feeling a bit uncomfortable! I just don't think it's fair to inconvenience them like that, when it was your mistake, and it's not as though they "owed"you anything in the first place!

mkdon05

hoodwinked wrote: »

this is what i would do too! at the end of the day they chose cheque as a method of payment, and thus should have technically known you could have waited months to cash them.

i wouldn't go back and say it to them though id be too embarrassed! id do as sleepy said if its ok with them you'll find out if they cash or not.

6 months to be exact. I think it would be a bit rude to call looking for money from people that budgeted for it nearly a year and a half ago. I wouldnt even try and lodge them now either. Tough break OP but Id leave it.

miguelk

tinkerbell wrote: »

Put it down as an expensive mistake to make!

Ya, an expensive mistake - I think I've learned my lesson....

...In future I'll write cheques for wedding presents on the off chance they may not be cashed and if found later the owners will be too ashamed to come back to me on it, ching ching!

Over the course of 7 or 8 weddings a year for the next 10 years or so I'l surely make back my 3 cheques worth!

Carson10

Yeah definitely, i would just forget about those cheques OP. It would look really ungrateful on your behalf (not been rude to u or anything). It would show you only regarded their gift as a piece of paper.

Well done thou, at lease you sent thank you cards.

miguelk

mkdon05 wrote: »

6 months to be exact. I think it would be a bit rude to call looking for money from people that budgeted for it nearly a year and a half ago. I wouldnt even try and lodge them now either. Tough break OP but Id leave it.

Damn it, why can't you all be heartless people who recommend living life by the rules of the wallet!

I guess that was my initial thoughts but before ripping them up (that you can't go back) but on the off chance I was being too considerate, getting a few independant opinions have been helpful in confirming it.