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Annoyed or sounding selfish

  • 06-05-2012 4:03am
    #1
    lulu1985
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 79 ✭✭


    Hey don't know if I'm being selfish here or what. Right so my boyfriend suffers from depression, so much so he was in hospital for 2months because of it. He also suffers from anxiety aswel at times
    So I have my nieces christening on in the morning and now its like 5am and I know he's going to be too tired to go anywhere. Am I right to be annoyed or am I just being too selfish?


Comments

  • #2
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Well why are you feeling annoyed?
    Has he not slept for some reason?
    Is he feeling anxious about tomorrow?

    You have a right to be upset if he won't be accompanying you to a family occasion, but if he is feeling unwell with the depression/ anxiety he needs your support as opposed to feeling pressure from you to go. If he has stayed up all night for no reason, and will use tiredness/ depression as an excuse for not going, then you have a right to be annoyed with him.

    Has he decided that he is not going?


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    You are also posting at 5am - are you going to be too tired to attend? If you can still make the effort to go then why can't he?

    TBH, I think it's part and parcel of being with someone who has greater needs or consequences to a condition than you have and you either have to accept that you choose to be in such a relationship and thus all that goes with it or discuss this and make an agreement that you expect that he makes the effort to meet you half-way - otherwise you are just going to get more and more frustrated and resentful which will eventually affect your enthusiasm for him/the relationship.

    All the best, OP. :cool:


  • #4
    Procrastastudy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭Procrastastudy


    Dealing with someone with depression is hard. Not least because the very illness means they are hard to push in the direction of getting better.

    You shouldn't be annoyed or feel you are being selfish. You need to try and maintain as normal life as possible and support him as much as you can. Beyond that there is very little you can do. Feeling disappointed that he can't do things with you because of an illness is perfectly natural.


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