Is my ex gf wants back to me ?

LegacyUser

i broke up with my gf nearly 2 months ago , i love her so much , im thinking about her everyday , every minute , and i really feel pain when she is not near , i cant even study or focus on anything but she seems cold , after the break up she started texting me or writing to me on social network site , sometimes asking me if i have met new girl ,while its hard for me to ask her if she found new man cuz its hurts me if her answer will be yes .. and every time im asking her that maybe we can solve our problems and back , she is telling me that we broke up but at the same time she still talking to me , for example last night we talked online she said in general i dont like to meet with my ex while she's keeping talk to me in the internet and sometimes texting me .. im really confused !

Lorrs33

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, OP. Break-ups are never easy but you have to remember that you guys broke up for a reason. I know you want to work on the problems now, but why not back then? I hope I don't sound harsh but it's something to consider. She shouldn't be contacting you if she's so certain it's over either. You need to let go.

Miss Fluff

Your ex is being cruel and fundamentally very selfish. When you break up with someone and you know you've hurt them then its best to keep a distance, cut contact and let them get on with things. Contacting you like this is for purely selfish reasons and she will drop you (again) when she finds someone else.

Having your heart broken is very painful and takes time to recover from but this girl is stopping you from picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. If I were in your shoes I'd tell her to leave you alone. It will be hard for the next little while but ultimately you will begin to feel better sooner if you make a clean break of it once and for all hon.

msg11

I have said it before and I will say it again, the best advise is to cut contact all contact with her. There is no reason for ex's to be in contact unless children etc.. But even more the reason if shes messing your head around.

Big Bag of Chips

She doesn't want to get back with you. I think she might be contacting you, somehow thinking that it's the "right" thing, because you're staying friends... but you don't want to be friends.

Best thing to do, for yourself, is ask her not to contact you. Delete her number, even block her on Facebook. Maybe in time you CAN be friends. But at the moment, its just not possible.

AskJives

fisher86 wrote: »

... after the break up she started texting me or writing to me on social network site , sometimes asking me if i have met new girl ,while its hard for me to ask her if she found new man cuz its hurts me if her answer will be yes .. and every time im asking her that maybe we can solve our problems and back , she is telling me that we broke up but at the same time she still talking to me....

Hey op,
Shes in contact with you, asking you have you met anyone else, but when you ask her about getting back she shuns you ... does that sound right?

No. It doenst. Cut the cord with this girl. Shes not just your ex... shes a bit*h. I mean, whats going to happen here?
Shes going to meet a new bloke. Suddenly the "pick me up" conversations she has with you will stop being as she has a new bloke. You will eventually feel like a fool for talking to her. So, just cut the cord now.

Gyalist

AskJives wrote: »

Hey op,
Shes in contact with you, asking you have you met anyone else, but when you ask her about getting back she shuns you ... does that sound right?

No. It doenst. Cut the cord with this girl. Shes not just your ex... shes a bit*h. I mean, whats going to happen here?
Shes going to meet a new bloke. Suddenly the "pick me up" conversations she has with you will stop being as she has a new bloke. You will eventually feel like a fool for talking to her. So, just cut the cord now.

She's not a bitch - she's just seeking validation from the OP that she could still have him if she wants. For your own sake you need to cease all contact with her. Maybe you can be friends somewhere down the road when your feelings for her have cooled, but for now you have to put yourself first.

P. Breathnach

We don't know OP's ex, and can't judge her motives. What we do know is her communications are difficult for OP to deal with.

OP, I think you should be fairly direct with her. Tell her that you want no communication from her unless she wants to discuss giving the relationship another go. Of course that means that you are telling her that you are not over the breakup, but what's wrong with a bit of honesty in personal relationships?

ellinguistico

fisher86 wrote: »

i broke up with my gf nearly 2 months ago , i love her so much , im thinking about her everyday , every minute , and i really feel pain when she is not near , i cant even study or focus on anything but she seems cold , after the break up she started texting me or writing to me on social network site , sometimes asking me if i have met new girl ,while its hard for me to ask her if she found new man cuz its hurts me if her answer will be yes .. and every time im asking her that maybe we can solve our problems and back , she is telling me that we broke up but at the same time she still talking to me , for example last night we talked online she said in general i dont like to meet with my ex while she's keeping talk to me in the internet and sometimes texting me .. im really confused !

Is English your first language? Genuine question.

Beruthiel

ellinguistico wrote: »

Is English your first language? Genuine question.

And of no relevancy to this thread.

ellinguistico

Beruthiel wrote: »

And of no relevancy to this thread.

It's of every relevance.

Taltos

ellinguistico - please note as per our charter if you have an issue with a mod direction take it to PM with the mod in question. Off topic posting can and does result in warnings/infractions and/or bans.

If you have not already done so please take the time to read our charter.

Thanks
Taltos

fisher86

thanx all for ur opinions , i just talked to her yesterday , i told her that i can change and do what ever it takes to get back together , but she told me that she is somehow missing the old days but she cant back , she said that we dont have future together and she prefer if we will be just friends , that we can talk from time to time , then told me to forget about her and there are a lot of good girls that i can find ,i was really surprised of what she was saying
i told her that i just need u and i dont want to be with with other girl , then again she said "i doono what to say , dont think about me and try to forget " also she said and i hope u r not hating me after all this talk , and finally i told her " i cant hate u , i loved u and will never hate u ".
since our break up i was trying to forget about her but i couldnt and after this conversation i felt that i opened this wound again and now im having the same pain that i had when we broke up 2 months ago .. i really dont know what to do , i feel lost , i cant even start a new relationships because i feel that i gave everything to this girl , i feel that im broken and desperate.

Ande1975

Cut the cord lad, she doesn't want you.
Its a horrible feeling but you will meet someone else and someone so much better that you'll look back wondering what you saw in her in the first place. Spend time being single and regain your independence, you get to a point where you have enough of other people's cr*p that you put you first and don't expect anything less than what you deserve. She's not the one...

Big Bag of Chips

I think for your own self esteem you need to stop contact with her. No more chats, or texts. Even if she is the one who starts it.

I think, she is trying to lessen the pain for you by trying to be friends... she thinks its the right thing to do.

But, if you keep begging her back and telling her you still love her, she is going to dump you all over again by stopping contact. Because that is not what she wants, and she won't be able to handle not having a "normal friendship" with you, so she will walk away.

So what you need to do is step away from her. Completely. It is the only way you can start to feel better. The more you are around her, the more you want to be with her. Stay away and start trying to move on. You'll never move on if you are in contact all the time.

fisher86

she's asking me not to think about her to forget her while she keeps texting me when she's drunk or alone , and i donno what to do about it

Big Bag of Chips

Delete her number and her texts and tell her to stop contacting you.

If she texts you again, read it if you want, but then delete it and don't reply.

LegacyUser

Who initiates contact you or her?

I'm going through something similar at the moment. I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago because he was bad for my self esteem. Since then he wants to be friends which I'm not entirely on board with but to save his feelings I will answer his calls and reply to his messages. This is not a good idea because he now tries to take subtle digs at my confidence if I agree to chat to him.

Similarly I encourage him to move on i.e. get a new girl but would be reluctant to tell him too much about my life to spare his feelings. I think this is also the case with your ex.

If you are contacting her you're not being kind to yourself. She sounds like she's over it but still has nostalgia that she doesn't control during low times if she is contacting you.

Next time she rings don't answer. Then you can call her back the next day so she knows she is not a priority in your life anymore.

Never initiate contact and don't let ex's have any control over your happiness.

Dubhlinner

fisher86 wrote: »

she's asking me not to think about her to forget her while she keeps texting me when she's drunk or alone , and i donno what to do about it

don't reply. delete her from facebook.

she's trying to have her cake and eat it. Getting what she wants - emotional support and validation - but not giving you what you want in return.

This is extreme selfish behaviour. If she had a new boyfriend she wouldn't give contacting you a second thought.

Gyalist wrote:

She's not a bitch - she's just seeking validation from the OP that she could still have him if she wants.

that is the behaviour of a bitch