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Tuesday Funnies

  • 01-05-2012 10:29am
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭


    OBITUARY

    When the husband died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.

    As soon as were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly,

    "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.“

    Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea,

    but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather

    than the big sh1t he always was.”

    ____________________________


    I was sat in a Chinese restaurant with my wife last night when the waitor came over.

    "Herro!" he said to me in a strong Chinese accent, "I love dat tattoo on your arm."

    "That’s my name!" my wife interuppted with a smile. "In Chinese symbols." ...

    "Ahh, right" he replied, "Can I take your order, Fat Coont?"

    ____________________________

    I went to the Doctor about my hearing problem.

    "Can you describe the symptoms?" He asked"

    "Yeah, Homer is a fat , lazy, yellow guy; and Marge is a skinny bird with tall blue hair." I said.

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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