what should i do?

LegacyUser

I've been living a lie for the past few months and its going to hurt almost everyone i know when the truth comes out..
My partner and i had a huge row and i walked out in the heat of the moment, needed time to cool off. I stayed with my mate and his girlfriend (my ex's sister ) for what i thought would be a few days at best.
Although she was my ex's sister she never asked the row until one night we got talking about the whole thing,and about how i should move home.

Now she and I had a quick fling/drunken one night stand in college, which we never discussed again, I suppose out of respect for my ex/ her sister.

I got upset talking about the whole thing and with the help of a couple of bottles of wine the unthinkable happened.

Now she's just told me she's pregnant. Problem is my mate and her have being trying for a kid for ages but he has some medical problem. She says its definitely mine.

And without getting into too much detail there is no way the baby can be passed off as my mates.

To make matters worse I was made reduntant a few months ago.

So no job, no girlfriend, no friend on the way and soon nowhere to live.

What do I do?

well maybe you should think about the girl you got pregnant??

maybe have a chat with her, and support her.

its not really all about you.

@rti-shm@rti

fedupwithlife wrote: »

there is no way the baby can be passed off as my mates.

Even if it was possible this would be a ridiculous idea. You can't just 'pass a baby off' as being someone else's child, think of the life long lie that would be created, not to mention the untold trauma that would be caused to all involved if it eventually did come out. I understand that you are desperate but seriously?

Is she planning on keeping the baby firstly? Is it even a possibility that she might not? I think you can do paternity tests before the baby is born so I would go look into that. Once all that has been concluded THEN I'd advise you both to sit down and discuss the situation. If the baby is your friend's then she seriously needs to reevaluate her relationship and consider if she should even be with him considering she's now betrayed him twice with one of his friends.

If the baby is yours I think you've no option but to take responsibility for your actions and come clean. People are going to be very hurt by all this unfortunately but there's no real way to avoid it if the baby is yours and you decide to keep it. At least when it's out in the open your friend can start the process of moving on and living his life instead of clearly being the subject of an elaborate lie which is the case now.

ash23

You need to tell your partner and she needs to tell hers.
Then you both need to deal with the fall out in the most respectful way possible to all the people affected by this.

And then ye need to sort out what to do about the baby.

Once the baby is born get a DNA test just on the slight chance it might be her partners.

But for now all you can do is take what's coming and do the best you can with it. Time machines haven't been invented so you can't change what's happened. All you can do is get through it bit by bit. But it can't be avoided.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies,

@bubblybop - i have had a chat with her about getting rid of it.
i dont want kids and have always said this even with my ex.
if i'm honest the only thing i can see from how she's talking is that i thnik she's used this whole thing to get pregnant in the first place, she thinks we could be really happy together but it was just a fling/mistake as far as i was concerened.

@rti-shm@rti & @ash23 It will be easy know if the baby is mine or not when its born as lets just say my ancestors weren't all irish so it'll be easy spot. There will be no need for DNA.

Also the first time I was with the sister was in college (about 8 years ago), it was only after this I met my ex. I've never been unfaithfull to her.