Preggers!!

Iwillcope

I am in a bit of a muddle and I guess only time will tell but I just need to share my thoughts with someone. Ok, I can't work when I got my period - it was either the last week of March or the first week in April. Anyway I am bleeding a bit at the moment, it's like a very light period so if I did get my period on March 27th lets say it would just be my period.

However if I started my period on April 3rd, it's quite possibly an implantation bleed and I did have sex about three days before ovulating (if my sums are correct) and we did have sex for a while without a condom (I was really drunk and I honestly can't remember if he came but I know there was definitely some silly behaviour).

(Edit: I am almost certain that my period started on the 3rd now, just moved recently and everything seems longer ago than it was)

Now I know I have to wait a few days before I can find out but my question is how do I hold myself together before I do? I have a family event this weekend and its going look odd if I don't drink. I know for a fact my Mum will guess straight away and I just can't handle her reaction (especially if its positive, because I am 90% sure what I must do).

Any advice would be really nice.

Edit, i tried to post this anon but it still hasn't appeared so apologies to the mods for the triple posting.

ElleEm

Most pregnancy tests are very quick now so would you not just do one to ease your mind?

If it is positive, and you are still concerned about the weekend, you could say that your coke has vodka in it/ you're hungover from last night/ on antibiotics etc. Loads of ways you can get around it.

ibarelycare

Iwillcope wrote: »

(especially if its positive, because I am 90% sure what I must do).

Hi OP, what do you mean by this?


It's not that difficult to avoid drinking without being caught. What do you usually drink? If it's spirit plus a mixer, just get the mixer on its own and obviously don't bother with the spirit. If it's beer, get non-alcoholic beer and just pour it into a glass. If it's wine, well have half a glass of wine mixed with lemonade and try your best to make that last as long as possible. Once people have a few drinks themselves they're not going to notice.

padd b1975

You need to tell your partner (?) of your concerns and arrange to take a test, try to do this through your GP if possible.

For what its worth there is probably no need to involve your parents just yet.

Iwillcope

I don't think I ever want children. And yes I know if that's how I feel I should have been stricter with contraception (not playing the victim).

I reckon my period would be due this day next week so it's still too early to do a test, also I think I may be better off to plow through the weekend and test early next week. I am such a bloody fool.

Iwillcope

The would be father is really only a friend so I won't be telling him till I know for sure, it's just not fair on him. It's not fair on me either but I want to be sure before we talk.

padd b1975

Iwillcope wrote: »

I don't think I ever want children. And yes I know if that's how I feel I should have been stricter with contraception (not playing the victim).

I reckon my period would be due this day next week so it's still too early to do a test, also I think I may be better off to plow through the weekend and test early next week. I am such a bloody fool.

Look, you are not a fool. Stuff happens.

Having said that I think what you ssuggest is best, try and ride out the weekend. as best you can and see what next weeks test brings.

Still think you should talk to the guy, problem shared etc.

ibarelycare

Iwillcope wrote: »

I don't think I ever want children. And yes I know if that's how I feel I should have been stricter with contraception (not playing the victim).

I reckon my period would be due this day next week so it's still too early to do a test, also I think I may be better off to plow through the weekend and test early next week. I am such a bloody fool.

So do you mean you're planning on having an abortion? If that's the case then why does it matter if you drink at the weekend?

padd b1975

ibarelycare wrote: »

So do you mean you're planning on having an abortion? If that's the case then why does it matter if you drink at the weekend?

Calm down, let the girl find out if she is pregnant first.

ibarelycare

padd b1975 wrote: »

Calm down, let the girl find out if she is pregnant first.

Calm down? I just asked her a question! I guess I should have said "So do you mean IF you are pregnant you are planning on an abortion?"

Iwillcope

ibarelycare wrote: »

So do you mean you're planning on having an abortion? If that's the case then why does it matter if you drink at the weekend?

I will consider both options of course and the father's view will have to be a factor too so I don't want to do anything that could cause a problem with the child's life if I go ahead with the pregnancy.

Don't worry I would be saying the exact same thing as you! It does seem silly.

dearg lady

padd b1975 wrote: »

Calm down, let the girl find out if she is pregnant first.

well the point being she's worried about how she can hide her not drinkin from people...but surely it won't matter if she drinks!

Edit: OP clarified

ElleEm

Just go out and buy a test now.
There's no point in punishing yourself by worrying about something you can find out in the next half hour.

Iwillcope

ElleEm wrote: »

Just go out and buy a test now.
There's no point in punishing yourself by worrying about something you can find out in the next half hour.

It's too soon though, I think Thursday is the earliest I will know?

Ive not done one before so I am not sure, can you ones that tell you really quick?

By the way I turn 30 next week, I should know this stuff!!

dearg lady

ElleEm wrote: »

Just go out and buy a test now.
There's no point in punishing yourself by worrying about something you can find out in the next half hour.

agreed, some tests claim to be accurate up to a week before your period is due I think

ibarelycare

When did you have sex with him OP? If your period started on 3rd April then you're 21 days into your menstrual cycle and about 7 days after ovulation. I'm pretty sure there are pregnancy tests that you can get that will detect that early. Check with your pharmacist!

padd b1975

ibarelycare wrote: »

Calm down? I just asked her a question! I guess I should have said "So do you mean IF you are pregnant you are planning on an abortion?"

I meant there is no point talking abortion until she knows for certain if there is someone to abort.

Iwillcope

ibarelycare wrote: »

When did you have sex with him OP? If your period started on 3rd April then you're 21 days into your menstrual cycle and about 7 days after ovulation. I'm pretty sure there are pregnancy tests that you can get that will detect that early. Check with your pharmacist!

13th/14th April so seems to be the time you want to have sex to get pregnant.

The First Reponse one says up to 6 days but I am still seven days away, I think testing too early may just show up a negative result anyway.

ElleEm

These ones say that they may be able to detect pregnancy from six days after "conception".
http://www.inhealth.ie/Departments/Fertility/Pregnancy-Tests/Ultra-Early-Pregnancy-Tests-Strips.aspx

Check with your local pharmacies.

Iwillcope

They could detect it but it still may not be accurate so even if I do test tomorrow, I may end having to go through it all again next week. I think I just want to get through this weekend and then look into it.

ElleEm

Iwillcope wrote: »

They could detect it but it still may not be accurate so even if I do test tomorrow, I may end having to go through it all again next week. I think I just want to get through this weekend and then look into it.

Fair enough, but I think you could at least attempt to find out as soon as possible.
If I was in your position, I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING but think about it. You could allay your fears now. The earlier you find out, the longer you have to decide how to proceed with it.

edellc

what was the point of you posting on here looking for advice if your just going to wait until your period is due next week and then do a test like most normal people would do in the first place

seems to me you just like drama, in future get on the pill and make sure he puts something on the end of it....it would be terrible for a child to be brought into your life by the sound of you :mad:

Iwillcope

OK, well what I might do is buy a pack of two and then test Friday morning and then maybe again next week if its negative.

I will be in my office all by myself on Friday so may be a good time to sort myself out.

Iwillcope

edellc wrote: »

what was the point of you posting on here looking for advice if your just going to wait until your period is due next week and then do a test like most normal people would do in the first place

seems to me you just like drama, in future get on the pill and make sure he puts something on the end of it....it would be terrible for a child to be brought into your life by the sound of you :mad:

I can't take any hormonal contraceptives due to a genetic medical condition, although I guess I could have gone for something else just never wanted to.

And the point was to have someone to talk to and see if anyone had any helpful advice and it is helping, so I don't much care what you think.

Morag

Go to your chemist and get a clear blue pregnancy test.
If it turns out you are pregant then you can get help and support to figure out what you are going to do next.

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/

Will give you information on getting support for what ever choice you make.

If you are not then you may still want to go to a family planning clinc there are many around the country and
find out what your contraception options are and consider getting and STI check.

edellc

well then you are playing with fire, and eventually you will get burnt and it wont be just you who have to deal with the consequences but an innocent child also, abortion (which I fully support) is NOT a form of contraception and the fact that you may need to use it as your form of contraception is an absolute disgrace....if your old enough to have sex then you have to be aware of the consequences and that means all the consequences

grow up and co op, if you are pregnant then its the child i feel sorry for, as you will either get rid of it (which it never asked to be here but is due to your stupidity) or keep it and god help it ending up with an irresponsible and clearly immature person like you

Beruthiel

edellc

If you have nothing helpful to say to the OP, please refrain from commenting.
Read the forum Charter.

Iwillcope

edellc wrote: »

well then you are playing with fire, and eventually you will get burnt and it wont be just you who have to deal with the consequences but an innocent child also, abortion (which I fully support) is NOT a form of contraception and the fact that you may need to use it as your form of contraception is an absolute disgrace....if your old enough to have sex then you have to be aware of the consequences and that means all the consequences

grow up and co op, if you are pregnant then its the child i feel sorry for, as you will either get rid of it (which it never asked to be here but is due to your stupidity) or keep it and god help it ending up with an irresponsible and clearly immature person like you

I can't say I disagree with any of what you are saying. Although such vitriol in a stranger very odd!

gud4u

Clear blue digital comes in a twin pack and gives the best result imo.

Try to remain calm and just drink mixers or ligh alcohol this weekend if not drinking is going to create awkwardness.

No ones perfect, while you have been foolish, don't beat yourself up, what's the point, regardless of the outcome.

Maybe you should really look at whether you want kids or not and determine the best form of contraception from that.

MissFlitworth

I genuinely don't know why you're catching *any* flack for being irresponsible or any rubbish about how it would be terrible for a child to end up in your life. You're not exactly the first person by many, many, many leagues who has ended up in the same position, doesn't make you a bad person or irresponsible! You don't sound like you have any intention of having another pregnancy scare but if you do have sex without protection again remember you can get the morning after pill in the chemist now.

If you don't want to drink this weekend then, as someone else mentioned, you could try stick to mixers and just don't add any booze. Or have a 'heavy night out' the night before and tell people you physically can't cope with drinking, you don't want to yak in their nice house etc. etc. Or have a couple of drinks & just nurse them through the whole night.

You will get through the weekend though, best of luck with it.

Herrick

Iwillcope wrote: »

I have a family event this weekend and its going look odd if I don't drink. I know for a fact my Mum will guess straight away and I just can't handle her reaction (especially if its positive, because I am 90% sure what I must do)

One simple line "I am on antibiotics"

Iwillcope

Herrick wrote: »

One simple line "I am on antibiotics"

I have always drank while on antibiotics, it makes no odds unless you are being treated for some sort of fungal infection.

allym

Iwillcope wrote: »

I have always drank while on antibiotics, it makes no odds unless you are being treated for some sort of fungal infection.

Just FYI that's not true..there are many types of antibiotics which won't work if you've drank alcohol.

On the pregnancy thing there are many early detection test as others have said but if you feel they won't be accurate then wait until you feel ready

Herrick

Iwillcope wrote: »

I have always drank while on antibiotics, it makes no odds unless you are being treated for some sort of fungal infection.

And how are her family going to know whats she is being treated for? Make her strip and give her a full medical?

snafuk35

Iwillcope wrote: »

I am in a bit of a muddle and I guess only time will tell but I just need to share my thoughts with someone. Ok, I can't work when I got my period - it was either the last week of March or the first week in April. Anyway I am bleeding a bit at the moment, it's like a very light period so if I did get my period on March 27th lets say it would just be my period.

However if I started my period on April 3rd, it's quite possibly an implantation bleed and I did have sex about three days before ovulating (if my sums are correct) and we did have sex for a while without a condom (I was really drunk and I honestly can't remember if he came but I know there was definitely some silly behaviour).

(Edit: I am almost certain that my period started on the 3rd now, just moved recently and everything seems longer ago than it was)

Now I know I have to wait a few days before I can find out but my question is how do I hold myself together before I do? I have a family event this weekend and its going look odd if I don't drink. I know for a fact my Mum will guess straight away and I just can't handle her reaction (especially if its positive, because I am 90% sure what I must do).

Any advice would be really nice.

Edit, i tried to post this anon but it still hasn't appeared so apologies to the mods for the triple posting.

Do you want to have the baby or not?

Neyite

OP, I answered your question over on the pregnancy forum, but saw this here. I have a lot of experience peeing on sticks over the last 3 years

Iwillcope wrote: »

13th/14th April so seems to be the time you want to have sex to get pregnant.

The First Reponse one says up to 6 days but I am still seven days away, I think testing too early may just show up a negative result anyway.

Ovulation varies from woman to woman. I had a perfect 28 day cycle yet ovulated around day 12. Others ovulate later, so until you test you wont really know. Tests are highly sensitive these days and some women have had very early positives from them - clearblue and first response are the most sensitive on the market according to baby-making forums.

Herrick wrote: »

One simple line "I am on antibiotics"

People saw right through that one when I tried it in September/October. The best excuse I used was the bender the night before with mates and stuck to lucozade. I just described a night that I did go overboard and not one single person doubted me.

By the way OP, a moderate sipping this weekend wont make any odds. I drank the two weekends between ovulation and getting my positive, so if you are backed into a corner drinks wise, nursing a lager or wine wont hurt - an embryo has its own nutrional supply that early and is not latched into your bloodstream until about 6 weeks or so, so alcohol in your system cant transfer over the way it would through the placenta at later stages. Just dont go mad, and you'll be grand. I looked it up at the time because I was worried that I'd done something wrong, but my GP also reassured me.

snafuk35 wrote: »

Do you want to have the baby or not?

What "baby"? The one that she probably is not pregnant with?

She does not have to decide about an (at this pont) hypothetical baby. And if there is, its none of our business, its not what she asked advice on.

sam34

Iwillcope wrote: »

I have always drank while on antibiotics, it makes no odds unless you are being treated for some sort of fungal infection.

allym wrote: »

Just FYI that's not true..there are many types of antibiotics which won't work if you've drank alcohol.

On the pregnancy thing there are many early detection test as others have said but if you feel they won't be accurate then wait until you feel ready

ot, but a) antibiotics are not used to treat a fungal infection
and b) the issue with drinking while on antibiotics is that the combination of certain (not all) antibiotics and alcohol can cause a severe and dangerous reaction. and c) alcohol doesn't just stop antibiotics from working.

(of course, the above is a general principle- nearly all meds carry the warning "may cause drowsiness, if affected..." etc)

Ickle Magoo

snafuk35 banned for a month for failing to learn from prior bans re unhelpful/irrelevant/insensitive posting.

If anyone hasn’t done so already, please take the time to read the thread and the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter before posting and offer civil, mature and constructive advice.

Many thanks.

Wompa1

You are worried about what you'll say about not drinking!?....that shouldn't even register as an issue. I'm not going to go on a rant here but I'd suggest you be more careful in the future and learn from this.

Iwillcope

Wompa1 wrote: »

You are worried about what you'll say about not drinking!?....that shouldn't even register as an issue. I'm not going to go on a rant here but I'd suggest you be more careful in the future and learn from this.

I am worried because I don't want to have to answer any awkward questions especially when I don't even know myself!

Ickle Magoo

Wompa1, please read the question posed by the OP and answer that rather than taking it upon yourself to lecture or moralise.

If you can't offer mature, civil and constructive advice relevant to the issue posted then kindly refrain from posting.

ash23

Iwillcope, I was in a similar position only I was pregnant but was fairly sure I was going to have an abortion but I still avoided drinking until I had made my mind up 100% as to what I was doing.
And then in the early stages when I wanted to keep it private I did the following

- ordered my own drinks so I'd say it was a vodka and 7up but it was just 7up
- said I was trying to lose weight (I was slightly overweight at the time) so was giving up alcohol
- said I'd had a brutal headache earlier and had dosed myself up on painkillers so I couldn't drink because I didn't want to risk a trip to a&e.
- rambled on about the latest "detox" diet. Nothing more boring so people won't question you too much.
- said I was really hungover and sick as a dog so couldn't face drinking.


All those excuses got me through to about 5 months in work without anyone realising. That included a work function where there was a free bar. They were none the wiser


You can do an early test or wait until your period is due and do one then.

wexford12

Is it just me or does this girl sound like she is 15 or its a wind up.. If not go to the chemist and get a test and you will find out one way or the other.

MissFlitworth

wexford12 wrote: »

Is it just me or does this girl sound like she is 15 or its a wind up.. If not go to the chemist and get a test and you will find out one way or the other.

No, she doesn't sound 15 to me & no, it doesn't sound like a wind up to me. Sounds like someone who's panicked they might be pregnant & is trying to get through the weekend without anyone suspecting they might be worried. As the OP has explained a couple of times she's right on the cusp of the right time to use an early pregnancy test & might end up with a false negative so she's waiting till after the weekend & posting here to get some support & try to type the panic & fear out of her system.

wexford12

MissFlitworth wrote: »

No, she doesn't sound 15 to me & no, it doesn't sound like a wind up to me. Sounds like someone who's panicked they might be pregnant & is trying to get through the weekend without anyone suspecting they might be worried. As the OP has explained a couple of times she's right on the cusp of the right time to use an early pregnancy test & might end up with a false negative so she's waiting till after the weekend & posting here to get some support & try to type the panic & fear out of her system.

Don't belive everything you read sounds a bit odd for a woman of 30 years old to be typing like the way she is

ash23

wexford12 wrote: »

Don't belive everything you read sounds a bit odd for a woman of 30 years old to be typing like the way she is

A pregnancy scare is terrifying and unnerving no matter what age you are.

Iwillcope

wexford12 wrote: »

Don't belive everything you read sounds a bit odd for a woman of 30 years old to be typing like the way she is

Why? People mature at different stages in life and I have never experienced anything like this before so all I am really basing it is on what I read on the internet.

I don't get why people can't understand that I don't want to test too soon and get a negative result, it just won't allay my fears until I can be completely sure! What's so difficult to understand about that?

Taltos

wexford12 - if you have an issue with a thread or a post report it.
Pulling a thread off topic in the manner you have done is against our charter.
As there has already been mod warnings on this thread an infraction is being issued.

Remember all - as per our charter - respond to posters in a civil and constructive manner.
Muppetry of any nature is not tolerated here.

Taltos

Neyite

Iwillcope wrote: »

Why? People mature at different stages in life and I have never experienced anything like this before so all I am really basing it is on what I read on the internet.

I don't get why people can't understand that I don't want to test too soon and get a negative result, it just won't allay my fears until I can be completely sure! What's so difficult to understand about that?

I spent 2.5 years trying to get pregnant, so this issue cropped up...oh about one weekend a month or so . And I'm 37. I am certainly not immature. Even a planned and very much wanted pregnancy has the "alcohol in the early stages" dilema. Your situation, circumstances and possible future decisions have no bearing on that.

For women "of a certain age" its the first thing that gets asked if you are somehow normally a tippler when out and all of a sudden are on the fizzy water. I know a few observant people certainly didnt buy my excuse which was the antibiotics one.

Ash23 has given you some excellent ones to consider, only you know the ones that might work in your situation. I never thought of the detox diet one- its brilliant, and like Ash says, its so boring people tune out. I'm sure there would be good ones to yap about through google.

wexford12

Taltos wrote: »

wexford12 - if you have an issue with a thread or a post report it.
Pulling a thread off topic in the manner you have done is against our charter.
As there has already been mod warnings on this thread an infraction is being issued.

Remember all - as per our charter - respond to posters in a civil and constructive manner.
Muppetry of any nature is not tolerated here.

Taltos

So much for freedom of speech I don't see why I'm been pulled up on this.I never said anything nasty towards the OP.

Iwillcope

wexford12 wrote: »

So much for freedom of speech I don't see why I'm been pulled up on this.I never said anything nasty towards the OP.

You accused me of being fake? Which is actually very nasty considering the upset I am feeling right now. You aren't entitled to free speech when discussing other people's personal lives, you offer advise or you keep your mouth shut. Should be a fairly simple rule for you to follow.