Hilarious Golf Shot Identifiers

bemak

Hi all, thought I'd share these golf shot identifiers with ye. Found them online a few months ago and they really have been keeping us going when we use them in our golf lingo.

Throwing it out there as an incomplete list.... so feel free to add to it!

bemak

A Princess Grace - Should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - Shouldn't have taken a driver

A Douglas Bader - Looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

An Arsene Wenger - Everyone saw where it went – except you

A Ken Livingstone - Quite far left

A Jean-Marie Le Pen - A long way right

A Sally Gunnell - Not pretty but a good runner

A Paula Radcliffe - Not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner

A Dennis Wise - A nasty 5 footer

A Diego Maradona - A very nasty 5 footer

A Danny de Vito - A laughable 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - An impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - Thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - Needs just one more revolution

An Adolf Hitler - Two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - Ugly and in the sand

A Glen Miller - Kept low and didn't make it over the water

An Edward Kennedy - Erratic drive straight into the water

A Kate Winslett - A bit fat – but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - Bit thin – but otherwise perfect

A Gerry Adams - Playing a provisional

An Arthur Scargill - A great strike but a poor result

A Rodney King - Over-clubbed

A Canadian seal - Clubbed to death

An O J Simpson - Got away with it

A Robin Cook - Just died on the hill

A son-in-law - Turned out better than expected

An elephant's arse - High and sh*tty

A circus tent - A BIG top

A Vinnie Jones - Nasty kick where you're not expecting it

A Ryanair - Flies well but lands a long way from the target

An Anna Kournikova - Looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems.

Hiroshim - A disaster on the 6th

Nagasaki - A disaster on the 9th

Red October - In the water, can't find it

Saddam Hussein - Going from bunker to bunker

Stevie Wonder - Never saw it

brick tamland

Agh now, ugly but a good runner has always been a Sonia O Sullivan

A New earth

and a son in law has always been " Not what I hoped for, but it will do"

colmsix

the mother in law = up there and you know you shouldnt be....

bemak

think thats more of a sister in law...

thought of another one tonight but it's very distasteful.....

an anders brevik..... shot an 85.....

moycullen14

A mazda

Tree to tree , geddit?

BoardsMember

Weather related but still on topic:

..it's a bit kamakaze = there's a nasty nip in the air

matt-dublin

bemak wrote: »

think thats more of a sister in law...

thought of another one tonight but it's very distasteful.....

an anders brevik..... shot an 85.....

he shot a 69 i think chief, killed 77

GreeBo

BoardsMember wrote: »

Weather related but still on topic:

..it's a bit kamakaze = there's a nasty nip in the air

"its a bit Pearl Harbour" you mean!

BoardsMember

GreeBo wrote: »

"its a bit Pearl Harbour" you mean!

That might work a little better alright!

The Orb

A Douglas Bader...
....looked great in the air, but didn't have any legs

link_2007

The Orb wrote: »

A Douglas Bader...
....looked great in the air, but didn't have any legs

A Christopher Reeve?

blue note

A tiger woods - wrong hole.

TheDoc

I love the hitler ones,

Remember an old fella on the 17th, hitting from one bunker into another and going " Nazi ****".

My Da chuckled and asked him what that was about

"A I'm doing a Hitler going bunker to bunker"

Still makes me laugh

Pdoghue

A Jim Larkin - a great worker..

AGC

Giraffe's Arse - High and smelly

moycullen14

A Terrier's Tool - Low and Hard

foxyboxer

A Babe the Pig - That'll do.

foxyboxer

An Elin Nordegren - Should have used the Driver.

blackwhite

Was playing with a lad who missed a short putt a few weeks back.

"A right Iris Robinson there"

"What?"

"An ugly little prod"

moycullen14

Heard one recently comparing 3 putting to masturbation:

"You're disgusted with yourself when you do it, but you know you'll do it again!"

foxyboxer

A droop.

Leaving a putt short. Never up, never in.

bailey99

A Condom - safe but didn't feel right
A gynaecologist's assistant - just shaves the hole.
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim.

link_2007

bailey99 wrote: »

.
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim.

No it's fine, I didn't want the rest of my yogurt anyway.

evillive

a few more

A nipple licker - A shot that opens up the hole
Monica Lewinsky - All lip no hole
The Miss Piggy - fat, but hugs the green.
Mrs Robinson - you should not be taking it on but it just looks so damn tempting.
The Mother-in-Law: Looks good leaving