Please help

thebomb

Iam in a relationship 2 years with an amazing guy, i absolutely adore him and love him very much...ive never connected with some-one like this it is very strong and we do have something special......the thing is i havent been the best girlfriend ive been extremely moody and took it out on him which i regret very much, i fear its too late and he is ready to give up on me, he has gave me chance after chance and i kept screwing up, so no wounder my word means sh*t to him, the thing is i cant see my life without him, and want another chance to prove to him that i am still the girl he fell for, he really is at his witts ends...can anyone please give me advice on how i can show him thats staying with me is a good thing and things will get better cause i really dont wanna loose him he is the perfect guy and i always pictured us having a future

thanks

LegacyUser

Seek professional help. Find out why you are the way you are. If he sees that you are ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING rather than saying it he may see that you true to your word. This isn't something you have done once or twice. It seems repeatedly and yes that will get annoying. I wouldn't stick around after the second time no matter how good the person seems. Life is too short to be treated like a verbal punching bag.

Payton

thebomb wrote: »

Iam in a relationship 2 years with an amazing guy, i absolutely adore him and love him very much...ive never connected with some-one like this it is very strong and we do have something special......the thing is i havent been the best girlfriend ive been extremely moody and took it out on him which i regret very much, i fear its too late and he is ready to give up on me, he has gave me chance after chance and i kept screwing up, so no wounder my word means sh*t to him, the thing is i cant see my life without him, and want another chance to prove to him that i am still the girl he fell for, he really is at his witts ends...can anyone please give me advice on how i can show him thats staying with me is a good thing and things will get better cause i really dont wanna loose him he is the perfect guy and i always pictured us having a future

thanks

Hi, talk to him and tell him what you have said here. Try and find what is triggering your behavior that is causing those issues, be it stress, drink, work.
He seems to have had enough but you have to prove it to yourself and him that you can make it work.
Best of look.

thebomb

thanks but he is at the stage where when i try an talk to him he ignores me or tells me leave it, he gives me mixed signals, tells me he loves me and wants a future with me, the he doesnt ...i understand i put him through a lot but i no longer want to be moody and unhappy it was all down to stress and money problems iam now working which will help the stress , i want be a better person for both me and him...:)

Payton

If he is ignoring you and doesn't want to talk about things just maybe your both playing mind games with eachother and now its reached crunch time and too much damage has been done by you both.

IMO break up, your killing eachother and work on your issues that you mentioned, and stay clear of relationships until you do. The damage that mind games can play on someone is disastrous.

SunnyDub1

Plan a romantic night for him. Put a lot of heart and effort into it, then during it maybe just have a little chat and explain that he means a lot to you and apologize for they way you have been behaving, make him aware that you are going to put more effort into the relationship and show him that he means a lot to you, and also explain that you are gonna get help.

do not plead with him, beg him, cry, or make yourself out to be desperate - this is a major turn off and will just push him away further. He will also know the ball is his court and think he can ignore you when ever he feels like it.

We all make mistakes and do things without thinking, if he loves you enough he will accept this and give the relationship another try.
But its up to you to really change and avoid the mood swings - maybe go see a doctor id your moods are out of control and you feel you can't control them yourself.

This might not be all you, it's not fair that he is ignoring you. Maybe he is the problem as to why you are so moody lately.
Yous need to have a proper chat. It could be make or break time but remember its no ones fault and things happen for a reason.

Taltos

It could be as someone above mentioned that he doesn't want to talk to you because he sees no evidence of you changing for the better.

Make an appointment to talk to someone asap and tell him of your plans. Who knows maybe even couples counselling might be good - this silent treatment stuff just tends to let issues fester - although sometimes saying nothing might be a good course of action in the longterm sulking rarely fixes anything.

Work on yourself right now - hopefully you have not pushed him so far that this is a sign of him disengaging from the relationship - but if it is - still go and get help for this behaviour so you learn to control and understand it.

Ickle Magoo

thebomb wrote: »

thanks but he is at the stage where when i try an talk to him he ignores me or tells me leave it, he gives me mixed signals, tells me he loves me and wants a future with me, the he doesnt ...i understand i put him through a lot but i no longer want to be moody and unhappy it was all down to stress and money problems iam now working which will help the stress , i want be a better person for both me and him...:)

So listen to him - if he doesn't want to talk then I'm not sure how forcing the issue or repeatedly asking him to is going to convince him this is the relationship for him.

You can't control other people, you can't make them fall in love or make them stay in love - all you can do is change your behaviour and your reactions to their behaviour. Get yourself help and work through your own issues, show the days of being moody and taking things out on him are well and truly over...most of all, give him time and space to draw a line under your past behaviour and learn to trust you again.

If your behaviour has damaged the relationship then I think you're going to have to be patient and accept the relationship hinges on his ability to draw a line under the past - and accept it may well be a case of too much damage is done and having to chalk this one down to experience. If I were you I'd back right off and leave him to decide what he wants - and use the time to start addressing your issues which will only stand you in good stead regardless of the outcome of this relationship.

All the very best.

Neyite

Talk becomes cheap when you hear it too often. Actions are what you need to do right now if you want to save your relationship.

What I'd suggest is that you book a counseller, then tell him that you know you have hurt him, you are sorry, and you dont want to lose him, that if he can give you a little time, you will do your best to work out your issues with the counsellor.

Stop trying to get him to talk, or trying to tell him all the stuff you have told him before. As the Nike add says "just do it".