Lada goes out of production...

davet82

Russian firm AvtoVAZ have scrapped the “classic” boxy model launched in 1970, 20million of which were sold worldwide. Anyone actually own one?

And can I have your best Lada jokes one last time...


Rust in peace :P

gcgirl

Ah always wanted to drive a Lada seriously tough car and possible better than a few big named cars

Snowie

I had a lada niva jeep :cool:

hoodwinked

My granda had a Lada back in the 80's!

Kerrydude1981

A man goes into a service-station and asks "Can I have a windscreen-wiper for my Lada"Okay"replied the man in the garage, "it seems a fair swap"

How do you avoid speeding tickets?
Buy a Lada

biko

From AH.

MidlandsM

I always faniced getting LAID in a LADA!

biko

Had a Lada crash into the back of my Volvo in Germany once.
Lada written off, Volvo had some paint on the fender.

who the fug

Remember me uncle came back from the UK with one in the eighties, and my father and my other uncles were like Ooh that a 1950 whatever.

For once I was glad we lived in the middle of the bog, up a mountain in middle of Ballygobackwards

ShadowHearth

biko wrote: »

Had a Lada crash into the back of my Volvo in Germany once.
Lada written off, Volvo had some paint on the fender.

Anything that goes VS old Volvo will be scraped. Old Volvos are tanks. Few friends who were breaking cars hated to work on old Volvos. If normal car had 1 screw for that particular part, then Volvo would have 4, just to be on a safe side.
I know ladas are rubbish, amd newer ones are rubbish too, but keep in mind that prices of brand new Lada is a lot less thn anything else in Russia.

Atlantic Dawn

I would love to see the crash test videos of them, pure metal and none of your fancy crumple zones or airbags.

Leonard Hofstadter

Another 'Lada joke':

What do you call the owners manual of a Lada? A bus timetable!

spiggotpaddy

Imagine trying to keep one on the road today. I think I was getting about ten MPG out of mine around town. Weighing in at about the same as a T-64 and a big fat carburettor, with a main jet the size of the hadron collider.

Luckycharms_74

New Lada's



New Lada Concept Cars

davet82

WHAT’S the difference between a Jehovah’s Witness and a Lada? You can shut the door on a Jehovah’s Witness.

WHAT do you call a Lada at the top of a hill? A miracle.

WHAT do you call the shock absorbers on a Lada? Passengers.

dahamsta

I have to confess I quite liked the original Lada Niva. Better than some of the 2WD nonsense for fashion victims these days anyway.

Mr Benevolent

davet82 wrote: »

WHAT’S the difference between a Jehovah’s Witness and a Lada? You can shut the door on a Jehovah’s Witness.

WHAT do you call a Lada at the top of a hill? A miracle.

WHAT do you call the shock absorbers on a Lada? Passengers.

These used to be all Skoda jokes until they brought out the Octavia:

no1beemerfan

davet82 wrote: »

WHAT do you call a Lada at the top of a hill? A miracle.

I can believe this one! When I was in primary school a friend's parents had a Lada....anyways on one of his birthday parties about 7 of us (1 in passenger seat and 6 in the back - this was the 80s!) crammed into the car to go back to his place after school. They live at the top of a steep hill and the car wouldn't go up the hill until some of us got out! Not sure if it was the car or his mother as she is the worst driver I know!

I have a soft spot for them though, but watching the Russian car crashes on youtube you should she how bad they do in crashes!

ShadowHearth

Well Niva was/is quite a good offroader even now. I would much prefer get stuck somewhere in NIVA then in any modern plastic school bus 4x4...

piston

Fact is, they were very strong cars. I knew a builder who had an estate for about 15 years and treated it like a Transit van, filling it with concrete blocks, building bags of cement on the roof rack, never maintaining it and it took it all in it's stride. Fuel consumption, performance and handling was horrendous with 15 hundred weight bags of cement in the back.

corktina

oh god Lada jokes...its 1980 again...

ShadowHearth

Most of these jokes so far I heard used about fiats.

corktina

Lada Riva largely WAS a FIAT...(125 i believe)

Guy:Incognito

gcgirl wrote: »

Ah always wanted to drive a Lada seriously tough car and possible better than a few big named cars

Having nothing to break doesnt make it better than another car. I'll quite happilt take my chance with my radio, aircon, soundproofing, nice seats etc.

davet82

ShadowHearth wrote: »

Most of these jokes so far I heard used about fiats.

I believe they were Lada jokes first

MuppetCheck

davet82 wrote: »

I believe they were Lada jokes first

Amazing when the Fiats preceeded the LADAs that were based on them.

I would have a Niva as a weekend vehicle for doing dirty jobs around the garden such as trips to the dump without any hesitation.

Although I came across this when looking and I was left speechless.

blastman

corktina wrote: »

Lada Riva largely WAS a FIAT...(125 i believe)

Fiat 124 (my uncle had one of these many, many moons ago....)

Voodoomelon

Uncle in law had one in the 80s, it was a lovely poo-brown colour.

mb1725

corktina

blastman wrote: »

Fiat 124 (my uncle had one of these many, many moons ago....)

then the 125 was the Polski FIAT or the FSO version.... one of them

working fool

piston wrote: »

Fact is, they were very strong cars. I knew a builder who had an estate for about 15 years and treated it like a Transit van, filling it with concrete blocks, building bags of cement on the roof rack, never maintaining it and it took it all in it's stride. Fuel consumption, performance and handling was horrendous with 15 hundred weight bags of cement in the back.

Wow lada's and builders !
Two things that are out of fashion

Kintarō Hattori

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKS9VzpdDy0

Does no-one remember this? Quite a mad idea.

Our man in Havana

Nowt wrong with the ladas. They go forever and take a beating.

JoeA3

Oh the memories...

My Dad bought one in late 1987. White 1300 SL Lada Riva with go-faster stripes! It even had headlamp wash/wipers! I also remember it had such luxuries (not typically standard on a normal family hatchback at the time) such as a decent FM radio/tape deck, Rev counter, hubcaps, clock (!!). And it had a massive toolkit in the boot, which I think is still in the shed at home to this day!

Back in 1987, you could drive away from the garage with "FOR REG" on the front of the car. It was a Lada, but it was a brand new car, therefore it was seriously cool, to my 12 year old mind at least :pac: Unfortunately, my mother crashed the car while it was still "For Reg". It was taken back to the main dealers and about a month later (just before Xmas) we got it back again fully repaired, still FOR REG :pac:

The car was then registered in January as a 1988 model, but not long after, things started to go wrong! All those jokes became true... The doors wouldn't close. Had to tie them shut with ropes. The ignition went on fire while we were still sitting in it. The headlamp washers stopped. Bits started falling off inside. The bonnet changed to a different shade to rest of car and the wings started rusting (bad crash repair?!!). This on a car that was only just registered.

My Dad took it all the way to Lada HQ in Dublin and to cut a long story short, after much too'ing and fro'ing he got them to take it back and got a full refund!!

And what did he do then? He bought another one

Happily, the new one ran like a clock for 80,000 odd miles and 4 years. I don't remember anything much going wrong with it! I do remember Dad always moaning that you couldn't keep petrol in it. And my sisters were always getting car sick in it. The suspension was seriously bouncy, so much so, that the dealers cut chunks off the rear mudflaps to stop them from constantly scraping off the road! I got my first driving lesson in that car... fond memories !

Man of Aran

corktina wrote: »

Lada Riva largely WAS a FIAT...(125 i believe)

Indeed and so did the Polski Fiat.
Not sure if the LADA was a legit production machine or not but as I heard it Fiat did sell the 'technology' of the Fiat 124 platform ( I think?) to that Polish firm once they discontinued in Italy.
Who knows if Polski in turn may have cross-licensed it to LADA.


Speaking of the old Fiats, who remembers the 124 (1200cc), the 124 Special (1400cc) and the 124 1800Sport coupe ( or was it 1600?).
Son of a gun to remove a starter motor on the 124.

The 1800 Sport was a head - turner back in it's heyday.

The 124 was replaced by the 131 Mirafiori type then the hideous Ritmo.

spiggotpaddy

Our man in Havana wrote: »

Nowt wrong with the ladas. They go forever and take a beating.

The only good thing about them was they were cheap. They were absolute rubbish.I had to replace a starter and a carb and an alternator, I don't think anybody had one with all four doors working for very long. I don't know how they manage in russia because the heater has as much warmth as wallowing in the afterglow of a polar bears fart.
I was thrumming along one day when the drivers seat collapsed, almost crashed. The owners manual was optimistically russian, with phrases like
"When key is engaged in II position the powerful am radio receiver is energized"
You needed arms like popeye to do a three point turn.
When it comes to build quality I 'd say germs have higher standards.