Just Asked a guy out..

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

So quick bit of background information to set the scene..

I met a guy I really really like about 2 months. He's my co-workers cousin and happened to come to a work night out we had.

We clicked instantly and there was alot of sexual chemistry (at least I think there was, you can never be too sure I guess!). Anyway, everyone was very drunk, silly dancing etc and we ended up kissing. We went back to his place but didn't have sex. We just kissed and made out but we were too drunk to go any further.

About a week later I ran into him in a bar. Again we got on really well and ended up kissing etc and went back to his. This time round we weren't that drunk but he....em...couldn't stand to attention. We swapped numbers but I didn't hear from him after that, I think he may have been embarassed even though I didn't make a big deal out of it at all.

Anyway, we met again recently but I was actually with another guy at the time. I could defo feel the attraction between us though and I think if I had've been alone something would've happened.

I can't stop thinking about him. I haven't liked anybody in a long time so decided today, what the hell, I'll bite the bullet and ask him out. I didn't wanna be too direct (I'm a wuss!) so what I did was I sent him a message asking him about an upcoming event that I know he's working at.
I asked him how I would go about getting tickets to said event.

Now, my question is this....if I don't receive a reply to my message then it means he's not into me and I can move. However, if he replys but just with the facts about how to get tickets and no follow up question/invite then I'll also safely assume the same.

Do you think that's accurate? If he likes me then he'll probably guess that I don't really care about the event and it was just an excuse for contact, right?

Sorry for rambling on, I'm just after messaging him and am kinda freaking out now! I am scared that he'll reject me but i figure life is too and at least I'll know then but...ahhhh...any advice guys on this situation?

Can't actually believe I just did that to be honest, very forward and unlike me and now my heart is racing!!!

Are you joking? he probably thinks you're trying to score free tickets off him or something
People aren't psychic - ring him and ask him out properly

MissFlitworth

Yikes!! wrote: »

I can't stop thinking about him. I haven't liked anybody in a long time so decided today, what the hell, I'll bite the bullet and ask him out. I didn't wanna be too direct (I'm a wuss!) so what I did was I sent him a message asking him about an upcoming event that I know he's working at.
I asked him how I would go about getting tickets to said event.

Now, my question is this....if I don't receive a reply to my message then it means he's not into me and I can move. However, if he replys but just with the facts about how to get tickets and no follow up question/invite then I'll also safely assume the same.

Unless he eats cryptic crosswords for breakfast he is absolutely not going to get the connection between 'how do I get tickets to...' from a girl he probably thinks has a boyfriend & you wanting to meet up with him. You're going to need to be a *little* more foreward than that and actually ask him out

baldbear

I think you should of rang him or tried to of bumped into him and asked him straight out. He's probably going into overdrive thinking what to reply. The whole mr droopy probably has left him really embaressed and he doesn't know what to say. If you dont get a reply just ring!

face1990

To echo the above posts; if you want to know whether he wants to go out with you, ask him that. No point beating around the bush, you're both adults.

I'm sorry OP, but you didn't ask him out. You asked him about tickets to an event. Like bluewolf said, he's going to assume you just want to blag tickets.

LegacyUser

Huh...I'm actually surprised that everyone so far said the same thing - there's no way he'd consider that me asking me out. I must be really rusty at this!

The thing is he's a very good looking guy and my workmate told me that he's a real ladies man. I just thought he'd be thinking "yep...she got in touch...I'm in there!'.

Well I guess i'll just wait and see if he replies. If he does I'll ask him if he wants to go with me, that for sure IS asking him out!

I have a feeling he won't reply anyway. All my self doubt and insecurities are starting to creep in now.

I really like him but if it's meant to be I guess it will be. I've given him a semi-green light now anyway. If he contacted me first about anything I'd be delighted and would have assumed he liked me so I guess that's also why I was thinking he'd think the same.
God, I'm even confusing myself now:P

Overheal

On behalf of men everywhere though: thank you for asking!

wylo

well done OP, that takes balls(or something like that)

He should reply to you either way, even just on a practical level, if not hes just being rude.

Then you can be more upfront, if he says no, his loss.

Getyourjacket

Yikes, did he reply?

LegacyUser

Getyourjacket wrote: »

Yikes, did he reply?

Nope...he hasn't replied yet. I don't really mind tbh but as Wylo said it's just rude not to reply even on a practical level.

If he's not into me then all he had to do was take 5 seconds to reply saying he can't get tickets. Ignoring my message is just ignorant. I'm not gonna let it get me down though, if he's that rude then he's not worth my time anytime!

Taltos

Getyourjacket welcome to PI. If you have not already done so please review our charter. of is not the done thing here to ask an OP for an update.

Thanks
Taltos

newuser30

Lochlan Juicy Headboard wrote: »

Men dont get hints. Tickets means tickets. Thirsty means thirsty. If we say whats wrong and you say you are fine, we think you are fine, because thats what you said.

And by couldnt stand to attention do you mean couldnt get it up? See that one also nearly went over my male head too.

You have to say it how it is.

Ok so your saying if a guy is into a girl and fancies her he will blantantly ignore a text from her, whatever its about? I dont think so! He should of been delighted to get a text if he liked and fancied her, and made some kind of response! Sorry to hear he didn't reply OP he obviously rude and arrogant!
I've found that when I felt like that about contacting someone, as in heart racing etc, its because you kind of know deep down you'll be rejected! If you dont feel confident at all about contacting the person there's usually a reason

Well.. we don't entirely know what this event is for. If it's something popular and people know he's working at it, then he might be inundated with requests for tickets, which is essentially what the OP did. If it were me, I'd ignore it regardless of who it was. Just ask them out for a drink sometime, if you like them.

The last time her saw her she had a bf.
Now she's asking for free tickets.
He's probably getting similar requests from everyone and either thinks she's out of order for asking for them or is getting lost in all the requests. he doesn't have to jump to fawn over her just if/because he likes her.

If you like him tell him you are single and ask him out, there's no other way about it

MissFlitworth

Yikes!!! wrote: »

Nope...he hasn't replied yet. I don't really mind tbh but as Wylo said it's just rude not to reply even on a practical level.

If he's not into me then all he had to do was take 5 seconds to reply saying he can't get tickets. Ignoring my message is just ignorant. I'm not gonna let it get me down though, if he's that rude then he's not worth my time anytime!

But your message really came across like you were scabbing for tickets! He kinda possibly thought you were the one being rude getting in touch out of the blue looking for tickets for yourself & your boyfriend If you really like him would you not take the risk & send him a slightly more brazen 'by the way, by 'how would I get tickets to x event, I meant would you like to go for a drink some time?'. If he doesn't reply to a message like that then he's probably not into you but you're giving up on him very quickly

dellas1979

Ah see OP, a guy will read exactly what you say, not what you "might" be thinking or reading between the lines. Especially where in this case you asked him to more or less provide a service (i.e. ticket) for you. You were meaning "other services , but it did not translate as this.
Who knows, maybe he will come back about the ticket thing, and THEN get your message across clearer i.e. if you are freed up after the gig, maybe youd like to meet for a drink?

Guys are not mind readers and we're not going to read between the lines like you expect us to. If you're going to do something, do it properly rather than cryptically.

RacoonQueen

You've been with him twice. He definitely likes you too. There is no risk to asking him out, there is a 99% chance he will say yes.

Just ask him if he'd fancy meeting up for a few drinks just you and him.

woodoo

Yikes!! wrote: »

Do you think that's accurate? If he likes me then he'll probably guess that I don't really care about the event and it was just an excuse for contact, right?

No, a lot of men are slow like that. The more direct the better imo.

indough

It's not that we are slow, it's just that we are used to saying what we mean directly.

woodoo

woodoo wrote: »

No, a lot of men are slow like that. The more direct the better imo.

I'm sorry, but I'm incredibly insulted by the fact you call us slow because we don't get these cryptic clues that women leave out. Seriously, when do those ever work?

Sorry for going off topic.

Ickle Magoo

Woodoo - there are plenty of ways of plenty of ways to give constructive advice without resorting to crass generalisations likely to offend swathes of posters - it's know as flaming and is against site rules.

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Many thanks.


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Feisar

RacoonQueen wrote: »

You've been with him twice. He definitely likes you too. There is no risk to asking him out, there is a 99% chance he will say yes.

Just ask him if he'd fancy meeting up for a few drinks just you and him.

That doesn't mean he likes her. He might not even find her that attractive.

Best way is to ask straight out.