Want to drive but afraid even as passenger

dee.

If this isn't the right forum please move it mods! Thanks!

Basically I'm a 21 year old who is terrified of cars. I can travel in them but prefer to be in the back seat. If another car/lorry/truck gets near the car I'm in, I start to panic. I also get very nervous when the car I'm in goes over 60kph or passes out another car. I know it's silly but I can't help how I feel.

I rarely need to travel in cars and get around on public transport, but recently I have decided that I want to learn to drive. I have no intention of buying a car in the near future, but I would like to learn to drive and get my licence just to prove to myself I could do it, I suppose.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I do deep breathing when I start to panic which helps a bit but the fear is still lurking there.

mikemac1

I take it you don't cycle so?
As if you were cycling you'd be well used to traffic and cutting and diving and switching lanes all over the place.
Shaking your fist too

Back to driving, dive straight in and conquer it
Book that lesson tomorrow, don't put it off

Any decent instructor will be used to nervous students, ask around


Report back and keep us updated

Alanstrainor

dee. wrote: »

I know it's silly but I can't help how I feel.

Sure you can. The fact that you even posted this thread is testament to that fact.

I would suggest completing the theory test and applying for your learner permit first of all. You can't do much without that! It doesn't require any driving at all, so there's no stress there.

It'd probably be a good idea to force yourself to sit in the front passenger seat of any cars your travelling in from here on in, just to get more familiar with it, and to put yourself at ease.

Once you have a learner permit, you can go and get a lesson with a qualified ADI who'll be more than capable of instructing you. They should be able to put you at ease and get you learning in no time.

Driving is not a big deal. I know that's easy for me to say; but it's true. It's safe, it's fun and it gives a great sense of freedom to boot.

Best of luck, and there's nothing to be afraid of!

dee.

Thanks for the replies!

I have purposely made myself sit in the front seat recently, kind of hoped to scare the fear out of myself. I was sitting in the front seat of my moms car last week and she actually gave out to me because when I start to get nervous I gasp, and she thinks there's something wrong. Which I feel guilty about because it's confusing/dangerous to the driver!

The weird thing is I love travelling by train. I can travel by bus without fear too. I think maybe it's because they're bigger so they feel safer? I'm not sure!

Didn't know I could get my permit without actually driving, should be easy enough to get that far! Thank you!

Alanstrainor

Promise us this. Once you get your permit, you'll get lessons asap.

Head first in the deep end is the way to go in these situations, i'm not a believer in faffing about:D:D:D

johnners2981

Were you in an accident or did something happen to cause this fear? Had you never sat in the front seat until recently?

Well I'd try to sit in the front and overcome it before getting a lesson and if you have space at your house maybe ask your parents to help with the basics and starting of the car otherwise you could spend a fortune on the lessons.

Best of luck anyway.

dee.

If I get my permit I will get lessons, I just need to stop being so afraid of cars first.

I was never in a major car accident, just a minor one (no injuries) but I think from looking at the news and seeing how many people lose their lives in a car..that has me scared. You can be a great driver but still get injured or worse because of someone else's reckless driving. It's been like this for a long time now! I do feel it's holding me back a bit, driving isn't something I NEED but I would like to accomplish. A goal, I suppose.

I don't think any friends or family would trust me in their cars I know my mom definitely wouldn't so that's out of the question.

dee.

I used to love sitting in the front as a child (to the point where my brother and I would fight over the front seat!) but in the last 4-5 years I started sitting in the back seat whenever I had to travel. I was always afraid when passing out/being close to lorries and other cars, regardless of where I'm sitting in the car. It's definitely more nerve wrecking when I'm in the front though!

johnners2981

You shouldn't be scared of driving as long as you are a good driver. Most driving accidents that occur are single vehicle collisions so as long as you are a good driver you are unlikely to be involved in a serious accident

Lon Dubh

I was very nervous about learning to drive, though I wasn't nervous as a passenger. But once you know what you need to do it is a lot less nerve-wrecking. If you study the Theory book and do your theory test that will get you started in learning what you need to do when driving.

I am just slightly nervous now at driving but gradually getting less nervous and I hope to sit my exam this summer.

Make sure you get an instructor you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable after a few sessions switch to a different one. I think some instructors are better with nervous drivers than others. I switched instructors myself and my current one is much better at helping me remain calm, and also much better at giving me information and generally explaining what good driving is, so I feel more able to deal with situations.

I would encourage you to try it. It might take you a while to conquer your nerves but if I can do it anyone can.

Edit: PS the instructor has a break they can hit on their side of the car (if you use their car and it has dual controls) so you do have that back-up if necessary.

Owryan

I only learnt to drive at the age of 36 . Was broke up in a crash in my 20s as a passenger and it left me s**t scared even thinking bout driving. In the end i had to take the plunge for personal reasons.

Get a good instructor, explain exactly your issues and go from there, try not let the cost of lessons be a factor in your thinking, take it a lesson at a time and just ignore the assholes out there who seem to treat "L" drivers as something to be driven over . Once you get going you ll never look back .

Just keep one thing in mind, you control your fears, they dont control you