infertility weighing me down

lesleylesley

if i'm posting in the wrong forum please move my post. thank you.
bad news came to me yesterday. i'm 25. i have very irregular periods coming every 2 to 3 months and painful period pains when they do come. i went to the doctor and he told me that i have a very high prolactin hormone which was evident from my bloodtests. i also have borderline PCOS with several cysts on my ovaries. the doctor basically told me if i want babies i need to have them now. what do i do? i haven't found the right man and i'm not ready to have babies but the thought of never having them frightens me even more. i can't imagine being 40 or 50 with no family or children and i want my own kids. on the other hand, i'm nowhere near ready for kids. im very immature for my age and have a lot of growing up to do. i am around 18 in my heart and mind. please advise me as i am feeling very very depressed about this. i am going to see an endocrologist. will she be able to tell me more clearly if i do in fact need to have babies immediately?

dellas1979

Think this is a case where you need to go and talk to someone professional to deal with this because you are after getting big news followed by a big shock.

A friend of mine is pregnant at 32 through IVF. She has PCOS and he low sperm count. She went through a gruelling course of IVF but is now preggers. Did the doc offer for you to speak to anyone?

I am a friend

Can you find out if it would help if you froze your eggs? Dont panic yet...

lesleylesley

lesleylesley wrote: »

i am going to see an endocrologist. will she be able to tell me more clearly if i do in fact need to have babies immediately?

Nobody can tell you that you need to have babies immediately. If your chances of carrying a child are going to decrease that doesn't mean you have no other option but to start trying to get pregnant. You've had huge news and I can't imagine the pressure/worry you're feeling, but your options are just not that limited. You've said you're in no way ready to have children, so you need to assess your options with an open and realistic mind, as difficult as that may seem, with a professional.

Talk to your doctor and get some referrals? That way you can find someone to talk to about how you're feeling, and find someone to talk through your options with you.

blue skye

I too found out at the age of 23 that my prolactine level's were very high, I was so worried about not having kid's but had my 1st child at the age of 29 and now I am nearly 40 and have two beautiful girls and was alway's told 'WOW, with all your medical problems you managed to conceive natrually?'

What I'm trying to say is there is always light at the end of the tunnel - I really wouldn't worry, time is on your side if it turn's out that you need help in having babies.

Best of luck xxx

Neyite

lesleylesley wrote: »

if i'm posting in the wrong forum please move my post. thank you.
bad news came to me yesterday. i'm 25. i have very irregular periods coming every 2 to 3 months and painful period pains when they do come. i went to the doctor and he told me that i have a very high prolactin hormone which was evident from my bloodtests. i also have borderline PCOS with several cysts on my ovaries. the doctor basically told me if i want babies i need to have them now. what do i do? i haven't found the right man and i'm not ready to have babies but the thought of never having them frightens me even more. i can't imagine being 40 or 50 with no family or children and i want my own kids. on the other hand, i'm nowhere near ready for kids. im very immature for my age and have a lot of growing up to do. i am around 18 in my heart and mind. please advise me as i am feeling very very depressed about this. i am going to see an endocrologist. will she be able to tell me more clearly if i do in fact need to have babies immediately?

Ok, its not great news, but does not mean necessarily that you have to have kids now or never.

High prolatin (which I have also - and see my sig!) is easily sorted with a simple little tablet, effective in restoring your fertility immediatly on that score.

Cysts can be removed, and PCOS can be treated too. Women who have had cycs, PCOS and Endomitriosis can and do have children. Other women who have no abnormal test results may end up having problems.

Was it your GP that told you this?

If it was, then firstly talk to your endocrinologist- they really do know their stuff, and then if you think from that you need more information, you can see a fertility specialist - there is so much that can be done before invasive treatments so try not to worry too much. For instance Napro technology has had huge successes, and the basis for the treatemt is regulating and normallising the womans cycle and hormones in great detail.

Have a look at the chat thread and other threads on the Trying to Concieve forum, under Parenting. I know you are not trying to get pregnant now, but a lot of the health issues that you describe here, other women have dealt with and had great outcomes.

Some of us who have been posting there for a while have went to endocrinologists and specialists and would be happy to share experiences with you.

Danniboo

OP, don't listen to them. I was given the same "advice":rolleyes: when I was 22. How dare they put that on people. The problem with docs in this country is that some of them think they are god. You are not ready for a child clearly, so wait. I know people with PCOS who have gone on to have children, no problem. The thing is you don't actually know until you start trying. I suggest you talk to someone about this, as it's a bit of a shock and try see another consultant if your not happy with your current one. Without trying to make you feel worse OP you'll probably find out just how little empathy or understanding some doctors have towards this. Big Hugs OP xxxxx

Judes

I was told the same by UK docs, so it isn't just docs in Ireland. I have endometriosis and went through years of hell/pain etc. etc. And it was finally diagnosed in 1995 when I was 31 and just dating a new man but wthe Docs told that if I even wanted to consider having a child - do it now, or forget it (as I was a gunged up mess inside - sorry too factual?) I had laser surgery (or internal pacman as I used to call it to blast away some of the endo that was causing pain - but it was everywhere inside). I knew I couldn't do it on my own, I lived in London and had great friends, a wonderful job but my family were all back here in Ireland and I wasn't going to jump my new BF of the time and say impregnate me, or go to sperm bank or anything else. I was very upset at the time thinking I can never have my own children but had a long talk with my mum and she reminded me there are millions of babies/ children in this world who need help and love - you don't have to have your own to share that. Those words were the tonic I needed.

I'm 48 this year - no children - but a very fulfilled life - loads of friends, great social life, not in a relationship at the present time. But very happy and dote on my nephew and friend's children.

We can still be fulfilled without being part of the norm i.e. husband, 2.4 children, cats and dogs. You may well have your own children - look at what the other posters have said. I'm just saying it isn't everything! But best of luck with sorting out your medical issues and I hope there is no more pain.

Sound Bite

Hi OP, I'm the same. Diagnosed with endo 3 year ago and told there was very little chance of me having children ever but that if I did want them I needed to start trying immediately. Have since been told by another consultant that there is no chance.

While I've never been very maternal or had any real desire to have children, the news that the decision was no longer mine came as a shock. I've spoke to several other since in the same situation and each one of us experienced a range of emotions ranging from sadness, upset, loss, anger. Its probably of little use to you but you are not alone.

Also, since my diagnosis, several women that I know personally or know of had been told that they would have have children due to endo have since given birth. I don't wish to give you false hope or anything but doctors don't always get it right. Also, there are other options you can explore if you decide that you do want to have a family in the future.

Hope this is of some help to you

I am a friend

Sound Bite wrote: »

told by another consultant that there is no chance.

My cousin was told this just a few months after she met her now husband... She told him she would never be able to have kids and he chose to stay with her and said they would adopt etc and not to worry about it. Luckily he had this attitude because when she went into hospital for laparascopy to see what the story was and she was pregnant!!!!

Stay healthy and as stress free as possible and see how it goes. You can do all the tests in the world and they can be clear and still not get pregnant... You can be told you will never have kids and get pregnant...

The reality is you never know if you can get pregnant or not until you are pregnant.