slept with workmate - not sure if I want to date

LegacyUser

Hi All,

I separated from a LTR around 5 months ago and have been taking some time out from the relationship scene since then. Over the last month or so, I've felt a lot more like trying to have some harmless flirting when I was out just to try it out and see how I felt about it / what stage I was at. Turns out, I'm pretty OK with it and feel like I could look at starting to date, also my sex drive seems to have returned!

Then last week, we had a work party. I was chatting to this guy who I was attracted to and he was funny and nice - I'd never seen him around work before so knew I wouldn't be bumping into him around. Was a little drunk and horny so thought, feck it, I told him my situation and asked him if he'd like to go back to his and it'd just be a casual thing. It was very fun and relaxed, had a great time and left the next morning happy it had happened but not thinking about it anymore.

This week he started emailing me just to chat. I have a feeling now that he might ask me out, but I'm not sure how I feel about this now. He seems nice and good looking but we work together. I asked one of the girls if she knew anything about him and she said that she thought he was a bit of a charmer. So;

1. I'm not sure if he just wants to ask me out because we already slept together and he just wants more of the same, or is possibly interested.

2. I'm pretty sure I don't want anything serious and this could work out badly because we work together. If we didn't work together, I'd go out again no problem.

3. Should I listen to the fact my friend said he was a bit of a "charmer" (she didn't really elaborate) and that would tie in with point number 1.

I suppose I'm a little out of practice when it comes to dating so not sure am I just setting myself up for a whole lot of drama! Or just throw caution to the wind and go with the flow?

Any one been in this situation and may see something else that I'm blinded to at the moment?

dixiefly

The country is littered with thousands of couple that met when they worked together, you dont have much contact anyway - he could be working somewhere else and still be emailing you so the working together doesnt seem to be an issue.
The "charmer" aspect may need a little more investigation to get a better idea of his history before proceeding and make sure he hasnt done the dirt on others (especially some you may know!) but i dont think the little work contact you have should be an issue.

R.D. aka MR.D

It does sound a little like it might be a case of him wanting to start a bit of a FWB situation.

You told him you weren't after anything serious so he knows that. What he also knows is that you are willing to sleep with him. So overall happy days for him. And for you too if that is what you want.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks guys for your replies - I know I was actually making a mountain out of a molehill! But as I said, I'm just a little out of practice and didn't want to end up in a situation where he was actually interested and I had to have an awkward situation with someone I work with.

dixiefly wrote: »

The "charmer" aspect may need a little more investigation to get a better idea of his history before proceeding and make sure he hasnt done the dirt on others (especially some you may know!) but i dont think the little work contact you have should be an issue.

You're right, I might check that out a little more - if he was just a bit of a player I wouldn't mind. He hasn't been with anyone I know in work so that's not an issue, no he hasn't cheated on anyone judging from my conversation with him and my mate but I'm assuming just more verging on just the player side. I would care a little more in case he was a bit of a "bragger" as well. I wouldn't want my personal life become public in my working life.

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

It does sound a little like it might be a case of him wanting to start a bit of a FWB situation.

You told him you weren't after anything serious so he knows that. What he also knows is that you are willing to sleep with him. So overall happy days for him. And for you too if that is what you want.

Thanks R.D, I'm a bit relieved to hear that's the general thinking. Might just ask him to meet up after work for a coffee and a chat to see we're on the same page and also to suss out if he's a bit of a blabber / ass.

Wompa1

If you don't have much interest in anything serious, my suggestion would be to not pursue anything. There's loads of guys out there who will have sex with you and they don't work in the same company. You are putting yourself in a potentially dangerous position for something that's not worth it..

going un-reg

How about just getting to know him? there's nothing wrong with that.

You can not do it, and regret not having done it months from now. He's a nice, good looking guy? OH NO!!!!!...run for the hills!!!

What bad can come of it? If you feel like things are getting too serious, just let him know, or remind him that you work together and things could get awkward.

Go for it

Miss Fluff

Woooaaahhhh with the micro-analysis here. You've slept with the guy and he's sent you an email. He hasn't propositioned you. He hasn't even asked you out. Keep an open mind, see what happens and relax a little.

nkay1985

Yeah I'd say you could end up with something mutually beneficial. Go for a coffee or something and make sure it's very clearly laid out that you don't want anything serious (alcohol was involved last time so the water could be a bit cloudy!) and if you're both just looking for some casual fun and enjoy each other, then what harm!