Should a new, happy relationship = a perfect one?

LegacyUser

Hi all, going unreg here for this. Ive been seeing a girl for a few weeks now and am extremely happy with how its going all round. Shes extremely cool, easy going, fun and we seem to click really well. I find myself thinking about her a lot (pretty much all the time in fact) which is obviously a good thing, but, as my post probably already makes clear, despite being in my 20's, I dont really have a lot of experience in this area and this leads me to my question.

If a person is Entirely happy in a new relationship should they be seeing their partner as perfect, i.e should they have absolutely nothing about the other person that bothers them? The reason I ask is that, even though Im very attracted to the girl and am extremely happy with every other part of the relationship I cant help but notice myself noticing a very very minor thing which is that shes a little overweight. I know that sounds really shallow which I hope I amnt, and it definitely doesnt seem to affect how I feel about her but, because of my inexperience, im nervous that I shouldnt be noticing issues in a relationship thats just begun... Im also keenly aware that I get scared easily about relationships and I really dont want to mess this one up over something small and stupid.

Ultimately what im asking is when you guys enter a new relationship, are you absolutely happy in every aspect or do all relationships have their little things that bother both people, no matter how new the relationship is?


I'd just like to put a post script here and apologise for how childish and unintentionally insulting sounding this thread is. I feel like this is such a small issue that i shouldnt have even vocalised it but I wanted to be sure because I often lack basic common sense when it comes to things like relationships.

Apologies for the long post and thanks for the help.

Idle Passerby

You know the saying "love is blind" is a figure of speech, you dont actually loose the power of sight when you are smitten with someone. So she's a bit overweight, I don't think the fact that you can see that means your relationship is doomed. No body is perfect, anyone that believes the person they are with has absolutely no flaws or annoying habits is deluded. So its normal and healthy that you don't see your girlfriend as "perfect". The real problem is how much her weight bothers you. I presume you are physically attracted to her, would it be something you'd be happy to overlook? If the relationship continues and becomes serious you might not even be bothered by a little extra weight anymore.

Princess Peach

My thinking of it is that it might be more natural for the little things to bother you at the start of a relationship. And then if it goes on and you get to know each other so well and love each other, they just don't really matter so much anymore, if that makes sense...which I'm not sure it does :pac:

If you find someone perfect like that, wow you have found a one in a billion person I would think!

A great relationship isn't about the person not having flaws that bother you, its about not letting them get in the way of the relationship. There are small things about my boyfriend that aren't ideal, but there is so much good there no bad thing is enough to be a deal breaker.

As for the weight thing and attraction, you may find as you get to know her better and maybe love here you'll forget about it. For me anyway physical attraction grows the more I love their personality.

You've said you are happy in this relationship. My advice would be to keep going with it and see if your feelings grow and that niggling feeling fades. A few weeks is not a long time to know for sure yet.

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks to both of you for your replies. It really is a relief to know that this is all part and parcel. I am very happy at the moment but as you say Princess Peach, the tiny niggles that I have will likely go away the more we go out because tbh, everything else is perfect; shes a fantastic girl.

Thanks again

prinz

There is no perfect. A good hapy relationship should be about working together to resolve the little niggly things on an on-going basis. Nobody is perfect.