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Partner won't take finances seriously

  • 21-03-2012 12:15am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My partner and I live together and have been in a relationship for 6 years. We have been discussing marriage recently and I love the prospect of spending my life with him. My only reservation is his lack of long term financial planning in any capacity and his unwillingness to see this as a problem. We both work and are fine in a day to day way. I also have savings, a pension and have plans to buy a home when the price is right but he lives day to day only, no savings, no plans. This is fine in the short term but would cause problems if we were to start a family as we have discussed. I've tried talking to him about it but he takes it so personnaly and doesn't think that he's wrong.

    I need advice, how do I move this discussion forward?
    Am I being unreasonable?


Comments

  • #2
    carmella2012
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭carmella2012


    you need to sit him down and tell him you want to plan for the future.
    in the current economic climate this is not unreasonable.
    a 6 year relationship is a serious thing and finances must be discussed.
    ask him what about if he lost his job tomorrow or what if you lost yours?
    he needs to man up and realise that saving is a wise investment for the future.
    Hopefully he sees sense.
    Best of luck!


  • #3
    bouncebouncey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭bouncebouncey


    He has no savings and no plans?

    This implies that he spends the entirety of his wages from week to week? Are you just doing enough to get by, and therefore saving would be a very difficult thing to do for him, or does he have a decent amount of disposable income that he's spending on socialising/hobbies/etc... every week?

    Money is tight for a lot of people at the minute so if it's the former I can understand it. If you're scraping to get by then further depriving yourself to save a few quid isn't something some people are interested in.

    If on the other hand he's still just burning through any disposable income like there will never be a need to have money saved then he needs to start to grow up. If he was single this would be his own business and, ultimately, his own hard luck when it catches up with him.

    However he's not single. Instead he's in a relationship and has been for a long enough time for his partner to want to start planning for the future. It's not like you're nagging him about the long term after only dating for 3 months. 6 years is plenty long enough for you to start looking at your 'forever after' plans.

    If he's not willing to take this seriously then I'm afraid you have a real problem. Any adult in a relationship has to deal with their finances seriously. He needs to wake up and start acting like an adult.


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