Funny sentences in documentaries/movies

Roadtrippin

Just watching a documentary on BBC 2 on Madagascar and very cute (and unfortunately endangered) lemurs.

The main guy presenting the show is a bit annoying but he just came out with a funny sentence:

"It isn't the best feeling in the world to have lemur pee in your face but you know it's all prescious. Poo is prescious" Hahahaha. And he was being serious.

I'm such a child for laughing at this but don't care.

Anyone else want to share funny lines from documentaries/movies?

AngryBollix

They're rarely noted for their comedic value.

4zn76tysfajdxp

One that I always think of is one from a book on John Lennon I read a few years ago, talking about The Beatles arrival in America:

In commercial terms, America was like a courtesan lying back on a couch and murmuring 'Take me.'

Defiler Of The Coffin

Roadtrippin wrote: »

"It isn't the best feeling in the world to have lemur pee in your face but you know it's all prescious. Poo is prescious" Hahahaha. And he was being serious.

Didn't there used to be a meme in this forum about pissing in people's faces or something?

Duckworth_Luas

I loves me pink perjarmers!

AngryBollix

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

Didn't there used to be a meme in this forum about pissing in people's faces or something?

Blast it with a lemur

Defiler Of The Coffin

AngryBollix wrote: »

Blast it with a lemur

Ah yes! That's the one! Never gets old

Roadtrippin

AngryBollix wrote: »

They're rarely noted for their comedic value.

This is why I said documentaries and movies... Any ideas?

One of my favourite movies for funny sentences is Easy A

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1282140/quotes

Two of my favourites:

Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive: Tom Cruise?

----

Rosemary: Not to mention how have you been dressing this past few day. No judgement, but you kind of look like striper
Olive Penderghast: Mom!
Dill: [to Olive] A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes.

Roadtrippin

Oh, and anyone a fan of the Monthy Python films? The Life of Brian has got to be one of the best for funny sentences...

Brian: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Brian's mother: Stop thinking about sex!
Brian: I wasn't!
Brian's mother: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?"

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

Ah yes! That's the one! Never gets old

It does. It really, really does.

Where To

If this thread was a documentary it wouldn't be very funny.

Bipolar Joe

"Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to sh!t." - Steve Buscemi.

RichieC

"Contrary to the Darwinian theory of evolution..."

Roadtrippin

Where To wrote: »

If this thread was a documentary it wouldn't be very funny.

Well then, make it funny!!! NOW!

And as an earlier poster pointed out... they are rarely known for their comedic value.

So, that's why moving on to... MOVIES!

DEFTLEFTHAND

The cute and cuddly Madagascar lemur's poo acts as a fertilser and plays a vital part in the upkeep of their natural habitat, so it is indeed very precious.:D

Where To

Why is that polar bear looking at me at licking its li . . . . . . . . . . . .

wexie

I]Harry has just had an alien removed rectally[/I
Dr. Allison Reed: It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.
Dr. Allison Reed: Okay, what flavor?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

(Evolution)

treborflynn

Stop arguing with me your ruining the ball, you know how i love balls.

Rabidlamb

"I eat sh1t like you for breakfast"

"You eat sh1t for breakfast !"

Miles81

The Big Lebowsky:

The Dude: **** sympathy! I don't need your ****in' sympathy, man, I need my ****ing johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

Kolido

Dodgeball

Cotton McKnight: I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.

Darkglasses

Many Governors of Texas have gone on to become President Bush, such as President George W. Bush, and President George Bush. (A texan odyssey, FOTC)

maximoose

Louis Theroux' (my hero) little special on living with Chris Eubank for a little while to see what his life after boxing is like, and Louis is asking him about his lisp


Eubank: I speak quickly then I don't remember to keep my tongue above my inner two front teeth.
Louis: Say "She sells sea shells by the sea shore"
Eubank: [slowly and not lisping] She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
[Louis laughs]
Eubank: But if I say it quickly without thinking...
Louis: Say "Chriss Eubankss"
Eubank: Eubank.
Louis: "Sss"
Eubank: There's no S on the end.
Louis: I know, I just wanted you to hear you say it.

Always cracks me up, Louis is comedy gold

Paparazzo

This amazing acting by Pearce Brosnan:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXcgt6l_LcA

Roadtrippin

maximoose wrote: »

Louis Theroux' (my hero) little special on living with Chris Eubank for a little while to see what his life after boxing is like, and Louis is asking him about his lisp


Eubank: I speak quickly then I don't remember to keep my tongue above my inner two front teeth.
Louis: Say "She sells sea shells by the sea shore"
Eubank: [slowly and not lisping] She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
[Louis laughs]
Eubank: But if I say it quickly without thinking...
Louis: Say "Chriss Eubankss"
Eubank: Eubank.
Louis: "Sss"
Eubank: There's no S on the end.
Louis: I know, I just wanted you to hear you say it.

Always cracks me up, Louis is comedy gold

He is hilarious, without trying Very entertaining documentaries because he is so hilarious!
He sometimes comes up with the most idiotic questions and nearly gets his face punched because of it