boyfriend involuntary committed to mental hospital

LegacyUser

Hi , I need advice on what to do as my boyfriend of the last two years has been involuntary committed to a mental facility by his mother. background to this is they are farming family very greedy about land his father passed away a a year and half ago left land and houses but my boyfriend was never allowed go to the will reading hes aged 20 . he and his mother have very little love and yesterday had an argument this is her third time that shes tried getting him into a mental facility , he lives with me not her and she barely has nothing to do with him.

today guards came to my house and took him away to be accessed is there anything I can do to get him out or get a barring order against her? please help

Miss Fluff

On what grounds? Has he a mental illness or psychiatric condition? A person can only be sectioned if they are a danger to themselves or others and the police AND a medical professional need to sign off on this in order for it to happen.

Starokan

This sounds very strange.

Firstly if your boyfriend was left something in the will then how they did they stop him being there, surely the executor would have requested his presence before reading it.

Secondly im sure the gardai would have to have very good reason to believe the mother and attempt to have him committed to a facility. If he does not live with her & given that he is 20 then what grounds would they have to do so?

It seems to me there must be an awful lot more to this than the background you have given.

The best thing you can do is go to your local garda station, ask them what is happening and get their advice as to how to proceed. Once you know what is happening go to a solicitor.

LegacyUser

op here , just visited my boyfriend there he seems shaken ,but I have shown the doctors proo that he lives with me and they are very shocked and amazed as he doesnt live with his mother but we have found out his mother has lied and said that he lives with her , its him and his brother that are left houses and land but wierdly enough the mother sent them away a few months after the father died and has been on non stop holidays since his fathers death, she seems to have little remorse about his death . she is extremely frightened that me and my boyfriend will marry as she always accusing me of ''being after the land '' .

I find it so wierd how she keeps doing this to him as he just recently found a job, joined the gym and has been so happy since , yesterday she text him to ask him to go visit his nans house with her once he arrived home she had two doctors waiting to take him away. I really think this is over money and land

P. Breathnach

Starokan wrote: »

... Firstly if your boyfriend was left something in the will then how they did they stop him being there, surely the executor would have requested his presence before reading it.

The idea of people sitting in a room having a will read to them belongs to film and television studios. OP's boyfriend has a right to be told what (if any) provision was made for him in his father's will. That can be done by giving him a copy of the relevant part of the will.

Secondly im sure the gardai would have to have very good reason to believe the mother and attempt to have him committed to a facility.

The gardai cannot commit him, nor can his mother. There is a procedure, and it is outlined here: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/mental_health/admission_to_a_psychiatric_hospital.html

If he does not live with her & given that he is 20 then what grounds would they have to do so?

If his mother has convinced the gardai that there is a genuine concern, they have to arrange for him to be assessed by mental health professionals. That is what I read in the original post: he is being assessed, and has not actually been committed.

It seems to me there must be an awful lot more to this than the background you have given.

Yes. And we here do not know if OP's boyfriend has a mental health issue. We can believe that his girlfriend believes that he does not.

The best thing you can do is go to your local garda station, ask them what is happening and get their advice as to how to proceed. Once you know what is happening go to a solicitor.

That is unlikely to do any harm, but it might not do any good either. OP has no legal standing in the matter, but if the gardai are persuaded that there is a family conflict and the possibility of a financial motive in seeking to have him committed, that message might help inform the decision-making process on whether he be committed or not.

P. Breathnach

OP posted again while I was composing my earlier response. It seems like she is making the right moves.

LegacyUser

whatamitodo wrote: »

today guards came to my house and took him away to be accessed is there anything I can do to get him out or get a barring order against her? please help

whatamitodo wrote: »

yesterday she text him to ask him to go visit his nans house with her once he arrived home she had two doctors waiting to take him away. I really think this is over money and land

So yesterday the mother had two doctors waiting to speak with him - what happened there? They clearly didn't take him away if he came home to be taken by the Guards today. Did your BF tell you what the doctors said? Did the Guards say on what grounds they were taking him away to be assed? Someone can't be involuntarily admitted without having a Medical assessment first and Guards can not be asked to force someone to have a Medical assessment, they can only be brought in after the Medical assessment if the person in question refuses to enter a medical facility.

Daisy M

If it is as straight forward as you are saying and your bf is no danger to his mother or anyone else then he needs to get a barring order against her. Is his brother in any position to help you out with getting this situation sorted?
It is very hard to get someone committed against their will, this is usually because a family member finds it an extremely difficuly thing to do, and when you love someone its very hard to do something that will upset them even when its for the best. Your bfs mother sounds like an antichrist who does not deserve to be a mother. I hope you can move on and put this behind ye and there are no lasting effects. xx

LegacyUser

hi op again , yesterday the two doctors and his mother locked him into the sitting room to try to force him to go but he pretended to go bathroom and escaped over the back garden and waited hidden in another persons garden until I came and took him home with me , its so horrible though how a mother can do this to her child, he feels so betrayed , it seems it all started as hes starting to question the will and how his mother is with a new partner now.

his older brother lives in america and has not come home even at christmas as his mother rang and told him it would be a waste of money , shes extremely tight and greedy . since hes in the mental facility now I have been told she wants to visit at 2 today to bring him some night clothes pffft how caring right?

Im waiting to see my solicitor but hopefully he will be out soon , I hope , Its so hard having to see him distraught and him asking the same question is disbelief . ''Im so unloved why doesn't my mother love me''.

iguana

Edit: Your last post just appeared.

So have the two doctors assessed your boyfriend and agreed he should be committed? Are you completely sure that there isn't actually a genuine reason for that? I could be naive, but in this day and age I doubt two doctors would make such an assessment without just cause. It is honestly very, very difficult to commit someone involuntarily in this country. If it has happened then it's quite likely that it has happened for a reason.

And the guards came after the doctors made that assessment and your boyfriend ran off. So in that case they were acting within their remit.

LittleBook

Starokan wrote: »

Once you know what is happening go to a solicitor.

Go to a solicitor now. Not only does your boyfriend need some kind of legal protection from his mother, if what you say (about he and the brother being the beneficiaries of the will) is true, it's possible that the mother is committing some kind of fraud to keep the assets.

Even apart from that, I would be looking into the involvement of the Gardai (if there was no correct application for involuntary admission) or the health professional who signed the application if it was actually made.

Edit: Ok, there seem to be doctors involved. You need to speak to your solicitor and your boyfriend's psychiatrist at the institution.

zxcvbnm1

LittleBook wrote: »

Starokan wrote: »

Once you know what is happening go to a solicitor.

Go to a solicitor now. Not only does your boyfriend need some kind of legal protection from his mother, if what you say (about he and the brother being the beneficiaries of the will) is true, it's possible that the mother is committing some kind of fraud to keep the assets.

Even apart from that, I would be looking into the involvement of the Gardai (if there was no correct application for involuntary admission) or the health professional who signed the application if it was actually made.

Edit: Ok, there seem to be doctors involved. You need to speak to your solicitor and your boyfriend's psychiatrist at the institution.

OP - the doctors obviously believed it was the right thing to do. The way you say it it is as if tve mother dreamed it all up.

Are you sure you're giving us the full picture?

It's hard to comment without knowing all the facts.

blatantrereg

Sounds like his mother needs to be committed. You might be advised to keep note of any conversations or interactions you have with her. Probably best off avoiding having any if possible.

What is happening wih your bf's job? It might be in jeopardy. I doubt he wants to inform them of any details for his disappearance. Have you pointed this out to the doctors? You have shown them proof that his mother is lying, so what grounds do they have for keeping him there? I would insist that they quit this ludicrous process, since the only grounds they appear to have for it have been proven to be lies, and it is having clear impact on your bf's life - consequences wrt his job etc.

I'd emphasise the practical consequences of it moreso than the psychological distress tbh. While it's obviously a highly distressing situation to be in, their reaction to that might be to just want to keep him there more.

LegacyUser

hi im back from a visit with him and his doctors, forgot to mention his mother is a head nurse very well in with the doctors there her friends you see , but hes just still in shock doctors said that he looks very shaken and are going to keep him until monday because over all this he looks quite depressed outside as you would if your mother betrayed you, but said if he looks grand before then they will release him , but nope thats it thats the story and now im going to my solicitor tomorrow to sort it all out , he is refusing to see his mother anyways . Shes a greedy woman who is just trying move on without any baggage

blatantrereg

whatamitodo wrote: »

hi im back from a visit with him and his doctors, forgot to mention his mother is a head nurse very well in with the doctors there her friends you see , but hes just still in shock doctors said that he looks very shaken and are going to keep him until monday because over all this he looks quite depressed outside as you would if your mother betrayed you, but said if he looks grand before then they will release him , but nope thats it thats the story and now im going to my solicitor tomorrow to sort it all out , he is refusing to see his mother anyways . Shes a greedy woman who is just trying move on without any baggage

wow. Head nurse. I wonder how much pointless suffering that woman has caused people in her 'care'.

She ought to be removed from her position asap but that won't happen. I have no doubt she's untouchable. Really best off avoiding any contact with her at all I think. Very dangerous sounding person. I hope this fiasco is resolved for you by Monday.

snafuk35

This is clearly a wind up. The Gardai would not commit someone in these circumstances. This is obviously someone having a laugh on boards.ie

BunShopVoyeur

Yep, obvious wind up.

blatantrereg

Stuff like this happens a lot more than people usually realise tbh. The establishment in this country is rife with corruption. Bit of an odd thing to choose as a wind up too.

LegacyUser

thanks for all the concern and very helpful information will repost if i hear any more news going to bring him out a few things to ocupy him tomorrow , to the others who think this is a wind up thats just sick and their view but why would i post in this topic if it was a joke? , but hope he is out monday pray to god

Herrick

In fairness it may not be outside all realms of possibility. If she was some sort of senior nurse its entirely plausible that she could have convinced colleagues that he needs to be carted off.

Then when they had him, he ran off, it looked dodgy to them? So I'd assume the Gardai may have acted on their word?

Maybe someone with better knowledge of how this process works could clear this up.

Ickle Magoo

Folks, there is sticky at the top of the forum HERE which clearly states how to deal with threads you don't think are genuine - please ensure you acquaint yourselves with the rules of this forum before posting here and if you have no constructive advice to offer, don't post.

OP - people are not generally committed to psychiatry facilities on the whim of their family members who happen to have a medical background - if you think this is what has happened then your boyfriend requires legal advice, something we are not qualified to give. We are also not qualified to assess if he should or should not be in such a facility, for those reasons, thread locked.