Getting out of situations you dont want to be in

Mrs Garth Brooks

How do people do it? Im useless at making up lies to get out.

Just yesterday i got caught with someone i absolutely despise and didn't know what to do. Or say.

I was sitting in a cafe having lunch. It was a place i never go to but decided to try it.

Anyway, it was my housemate from last year. A very very nosy person. She was the reason i moved out of the place. She made my life quite unbearable while house sharing, wanting to know my every move, who i was with, why, when i'd be home. Not only that she rooted through the bins and found a pregnancy test and quizzed me on it.
She was very selfish in that, she wasn't going to pay her share of the tv licence, or the bins. While she had the heating on, often timed to come on cause she doesn't like to come home to a cold house. It was timed to come on once and she never came home. This was in may. I switched it off once and she gave out to me, i dont like the heat! So she wasn't going to pay the bins, she would have expected me to pay for oil - i was out of there about a week before another oil fill was due.

Yeah so you can see how much i really hate her. I received a couple of nosy messages a few months ago. Three messages long, i ignored them, blocked her number.
I got a new phone a couple of weeks ago, and i forgot to get a call blocking application for the phone. I received a missed call from her one day and a voice message, telling me she was returning my call. I never called her.

That was it until i saw her yesterday, where i had to pretend to like her. She came over and was going to sit down with me, even though i didn't ask her. I told her i was waiting on a friend. It wasn't good enough, she told me to sit with her until my friend comes along. She couldn't even sit with me. I like corners, if she sat with me. she would have had her back turned to everything and everyone. Thats how nosy she was. Instead she wanted me to get up and sit with her.

Thing is, i was saying its been ages, bla bla bla, all pretend crap and the last time i heard from her was when i missed the call from her. Then she butted in and explained. Explained something, she never mentioned in that voice message (even though i apparently called her?).
She said i got mail at the house, and the reason she called that time was she wanted my address to forward it. This was something she never said, she got my mail and the nosy cow probably opened it. She used to open mail that was delivered to people that used to live at the house. What was i meant to do, if i said anything, she would have said, i tried to calling you to get your address. Even if she did ring me, i dont want to be giving her my address.

My problem is im too slow at making up excuses in these types of situations. I was in the middle of lunch, i wasn't going to waste it. I did find out that she always eats there, so im never going back there.

Im sorry, im just really p!ssed off from seeing her yesterday.

How do people actually tell others to f off? I don't want to be stuck with her ever again.

Miss Fluff

I'm not being funny here but I remember your various threads on this and you really really do need to get over this person and how much you disliked her/found her irritating/intrusive. We all come across people in life we can't stand the sight of but you can't let it annoy you this much. You've managed to avoid her and move out of the house etc so just see yesterday's collision as closure to the whole episode and be glad you don't have the share living space with the nosey old shrew.

In answer to your question, you just need to be more assertive. I sincerely hope you didn't got sit with her and if you did then more fool you. If I dislike someone that much I've no problem being rude to them.

username123

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

How do people actually tell others to f off? I don't want to be stuck with her ever again.

At the point at which she said Hello - you could have looked away and not answered and if challenged said 'I dont like you, go away please'.

If caught off guard and you said hello back, at the point at which she said 'come and sit with me' you should have said 'No, Id rather not' and if challenged said 'I dont like you, go away please'. Rarely would this ever happen because if you were honest in your behaviour she wouldnt think she had any entitlement to be friendly with you.

Stop acting like you like her. Act the way you feel. If you dont like her be cold, dont engage, stop saying hello, dont answer questions, be rude.

People like you draw these eejits on themselves by pretending to like them. Im just silent, cold or rude if I dont like someone and I couldnt give a fiddlers what they think - why would I?, I dont like them!

Thoie

If you really think there might have been post there for you, and she already knows where you work, tell her just forward it to the office.

Never bother your arse lying to people you don't like - what's the point?

I wouldn't have told her I was waiting for someone, just said "Can I help you? I'm in the middle of lunch."

The point where she suggested you sit with her while waiting for your imaginary friend is the second place where you could just say "No thank you."

Don't engage, don't offer explanations. If questioned just say that you have no interest in discussing it further and want to get back to your lunch (then start eating/drinking). If she pushes the issue, then you can mention that you don't enjoy spending time with her. Don't lower yourself to her standards by swearing or faking anything. Be polite, but firm.

niceoneted

I'm sorry if this is not totally relevant to the post, but what username123 says is so perfect. I have learned a lesson from you today. I would always be polite, kind and caring to my own loss with people I dislike.
Thank you so much for your insight.