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Interfering "friend" says I am cheating on my girlfriend

  • 08-03-2012 10:59am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My girlfriend just received an e-mail from one of her friends (Lisa) saying her nephew was told by one of his friends that I was seen "looking intimate" with another girl. So it is third hand information that I was maybe being intimate.

    It is untrue. I do have female friends and I am quite friendly with them, but I am not cheating. Apparently I am quite flirty. This is not intentional and is something I really don't realise I am doing.

    I would describe Lisa as having a pathetic life and she has tried to interfere in our relationship before. She is unstable. She has a history of cheating. Her nephew has some sort of learning disability (you would think he is mid teens but he is actually mid twenties). Both Lisa and the nephew know me and know I do not really like them.

    The extra complication is I have cheated on my girlfriend in the past. I regret this but we got over it and moved on.

    So obviously this has really upset my girlfriend. She is a very good person and honestly I am more upset by her being upset than I am about me being accused.

    I am worried I will lose my girlfriend and I am worried she will face unnecessary pain and maybe develop trust issues. She does not deserve this. I don't know what to do except reassure her.

    I'm sorry if the above is hard to read but I am quite upset at the moment.

    Can anyone give me advice?


Comments

  • #2
    20260622
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 170 ✭✭20260622


    What an awful situation to be in. I was in a similar situation myself years ago and it was not nice. As you said, if you are telling the truth, all you can do is reassure your girlfriend that this is lies and cut these 'friends' out of your lives. As the saying goes, who needs enemies with 'friends' like these?

    Good luck and I hope your girlfriend sees these people for what they really are.... jealous trouble makers!

    Take care :)


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    If you've already cheated then I'm not sure you can blame anyone else for her developing trust issues, tbh - it's unfortunate that you've set a precedent there which makes any cheating she is told about seem that much more likely to have happened.

    That said, your girlfriend has two choices because there is no point in going out with someone you don't trust - regardless if that lack of trust stems from the partners actions, friends whispering in ears or personal insecurity. She really has to decide if she can completely and honestly draw a line under both any previous indiscretions and any gossip she's hearing now and trust you and trust in your relationship - or she should call it quits...if she can't draw a line under it then trust issues are going to keep coming back to haunt you and cause you both heartache and annoyance.

    Sorry OP.


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