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Another Break up Thread!

  • 03-03-2012 10:58am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    The people on this forum seem so incredibly kind and supportive, I hoped you might be able to help me.


    My boyfriend and I broke up over a month ago. We weren't together that long and while there was lots of good stuff, there was also some issues within our relationship. We had a very minor fight which I thought we would work out then he abruptly pulled the plug which surprised me as I thought he was happier in the relationship than I was.

    I realise that we were not probably not best suited to each other and it is better that is happened sooner rather than later but am having a hard time moving on and I don't understand why. I have gone on dates with other guys and just find myself having no interest in them and comparing them to my ex. I also can't ever imagine myself having sex with another guy.I have been going out and keeping busy but find that my mind keeps going back to thoughts of him. I just don't get it. Then I start obsessing about whether he misses me or not which I know is completely ridiculous.

    Like I said we weren't together that long and while I really liked him I wasn't at the in love stage so these feelings of regret are not making sense to me.

    Any thoughts please?


Comments

  • #2
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    Just roll with it and understand that thats part of the process of getting over someone. Just give yourself a timeline by which you will be over him e.g. may 1 and work towards that.

    Once you think of him, force yourself to think of something else and you can train your mind to stop thinking about him obsessively...


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm sorry to say that for most people, it just takes lots of time, lots of distractions and lots of new social interactions.

    A month is not long enough for most I'm not surprised that thoughts of him are still consuming you. I found it very frustrating that there was nothing i could do to improve but that's just the way it is.

    Your day will come when you will be free of this situation and ready to move on completely, so why not focus on doing things that you would like to achieve by then, e.g. a new hobby, get fit, a new skill. Couple more months and thoughts of him will be few and far between. A year (which isn't actually as long as it sounds!) down the line and you'll barely think of him at all.

    Oh and the newfound interest in men will appear too...give it another month or two and you will have a different attitude, what you're feeling now about no one matching up to him is completely normal, it makes you human, it means you had really strong feelings for another person, some people can never feel that way, some people are void of these types of emotions, so as weird as it sounds, be glad for having that, and safe in the knowledge you can use it in a great relationship you will have in the future.


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