Bullies Family making false charge against our older son

sipuser

Hi, I hope someone can offer opinions or support;
we are facing a horrendous situation. Sorry in advance for the long post but as you appreciate it is difficult to summarise less than below.

Our 11 year old son is being bullied at school, I am Irish, my wife and kids South African. We live in a rural town not far from Dublin pop. c7000

-Sept 2011 - Son starts at new school, having experienced racial bullying at previous school (very small rural school)

-Oct 2011 he came home having been punched in the face- this was not reported to us by the school. we went in the next day and principals response was he doesnt call in parents every time there is an "altercation" between boys. Our son reports to us he is being teased over his accent. Principal denies any bullying but agrees to monitor situation. He also encourages our son not to be a tattle tale after we bring up other issues which came to light. This he also relayed to our son in school, this was to improve the chances of im making friends and not be seen as a rat.

-November- we are called by the school, our son is injured we need to collect him, I found him semi conscious, dizzy, slurred speech after an "accidental" clash of heads- In A&E has CT scan and diagnosed with severe concussion. Suffers headaches and double vision for about 4 days.

-XMAS- we observe the group of boys involved in bullying, some of whom live in same estate, coming into our property several times and playing nick nack, xmas decorations are stolen from porch,

-Jan 1st day back to school, in morning found tyres on car deflated- reported to gardai, rang principal as we know first names of boys but not surnames so Gardai cannot take complaint. He tells me to buy a cctv system and come with proof to him.

-Last weekend Sat- lounge windows hit with oranges we witness the boys- call police- told they busy with road blocks no cars available- 1 hour later numerous eggs hit house windows walls and car. Again we witness them being thrown. Again call police. We stand on pavement outside house, ask a few local kids for surname of one local boy, it is given. 1 hour later 4 boys at our driveway, looking in and laughing, our eldest son (16) runs after them as asks if it was them who egged the house, they deny he says ok and comes back. He also says as boys are under 12 there is no criminal responsibility and they can do nothing.
Our 10 year old is traumatised by events. Eventually Garda turns up 4 hours later! and we provide name and address of one boy and first names of others. he returns after being at house of boy and tells us they deny everything.

Monday- our son is afraid to go to school- we keep him at home and telephone principal and tell him what happened, he asks why our son has not told him of incidents at school. We remind him of his "advise" not to be a rat.
That evening a concerned parent and her son, who is in same year as ours, comes to the house. The boy tells us of the fact that on a daily basis our son is being brought to the point of tear due to racial bullying over his accent. Futhermore he tells us that the bully who the gardai called to is bragging in playground that day that he got away with it and is coming back for our car. Most disturbingly the boy who was in the "accidental" head clash causing our son concussion has been bragging that he deliberately head butted our son, and also got away with it.

-Tuesday we call Gardai and make formal statement about the 2 assaults on our son- the punch in the face and the head butt incident.
We call Dept of Education, we get bounced around the HSE, Edu Dept, Edu Welfare Officers, Social Workers yada yada yada- a brilliant case of buck passing for 2-3 days and still NO ONE is intervening on our behalf.
We hand delivered detailed letter to school Board of Management and requested meeting and investigation.

-Thursday- we speak to a Sargent who informs us that the principal had suggested the head clash was our sons fault and our version of events was in contraction to his therefore no further investigation of incident. We are in shock. We contact school and under freedom of information act for copy of the accident log, we also remembered that we had claimed medical cost through schools pupil insurance scheme which also had report from principal contacted insurance company and requested copy of claim form. We got both documents which clearly support our version of events and contradict the evasive version Principal gave to Gardai. The insurance claim was completed by him in his own hand writing and signed by him.
When i collected accident log from school, had brief chat with principal he again denied any bullying, and informed me that BOM were meeting on Monday next in private and we were not invited.

-Friday evening; we met with Garda and Sargent - presented both documents to support our version of events- they now accepted our version, said they would call to houses of 2 boys this evening, and interview principal on Monday. 45mins after getting home my wife answers call from a garda (the one who took the original complaint re. car tyres), she informs my wife that she has just had " a very concerned parent" of a boy whom allegedly our oldest son had threatened and verbally abused his son ( this is the one who threw the eggs). The Garda wanted to come to our house and formally caution our eldest son. My wife refused, and we were threatened with arrest and that a senior officer woudl come to the house and "force" the caution on our son.
I immediately contacted the Sargent we had met earlier and told him what had happened. I told him this was a false accusation and obviously further intimidation of us as a family. He rang back after speaking to the garda who had wanted to issue caution and told me they would not be coming tonight to issue caution but had appointment for to meet the other family tonight (sat) and would call to us afterwards.
Our youngest who is being bullied broke down after all this drama and panic in the house asking why are the police coming for his big brother.

Here is where we urgently need information- If the gardai proceed with this caution, does it stay on our sons record, if so this would have serious and lasting consequences as he has to apply for permanent residency and citizenship on his own merits when he turns 18 ( in 15 months). He could be refused with this against his name.

As you can imagine this disgusting saga is far from over, our youngest is out of school for his own protection and the bullies are not only still enjoying their right to education, but now abusing the law to further intimidate.

Whilst we have had brilliant support from some members of the local community eg. Residents committee, local resource center and friends we feel we are on our own against the system.

ResearchWill

You need to seek advice of a good local solicitor.

BrianD

You do need good legal representation and I certainly wouldn't trust the law in these small towns.

braf89

That story sounds awful. It'd definitely worth talking to a solicitor. Im pretty sure since its a minor, he can pretty much do whatever he wants and nothing will happen (with all that Junior Liaison Officer bullsh*t letting this go on). No harm getting legal advice all the same. I know this isn't much help but even if (and I'd imagine it to be a big if) the bully does get expelled, will it not come out bad for your young fella. This bully obviously has friends in the school and sometimes verbal bullying can be worse than physical. Have you tried talking to the boys parents or are they the type that don't care what their kids do?

Stercus Accidit

Is it the case that the principal gave a false statement to the gardai? Could a good solicitor be able to use this to force a resolution at the school? I'd also wonder about taking civil proceedings against the bullies family, once money is involved roudy youths will be reined in quickly I'd imagine. I think the best advice you have gotten so far is to contact a solicitor.

golden virginia

Sipuser - I am a teacher not a lawyer.

It seems that your son is being harassed because of his race.


It may be worth contacting the Board of Management of the School. As service provider under the Equal Status Act - the Board of management have responsibility to ensure that you child is not racially discriminated against by students in the form of harassment conducted by students or discrimination by the principal of the school in her/ his dealing of the harassment that occurred to your son because of his accent.

The Department of Education and the Equality Authority produced guidance on Schools and the Equal Status Act .


Both the Equality Authority and the Department can give you advice if you ring them about your concerns that your son received harassment for his south african accent.

About your older Son, as far as i know - it may seem casual in the way the gardai are dealing with it - but if you accept a caution - then you can't get rid of it. i would seek advice about the caution if it is still being pursued. Flex your statutory rights for your children/home not to discriminated against and in the meantime I would not allow your son to be cautioned in those circumstances.

mitzicat

How is it that your child is getting a caution and not these little brats that are harassing your family? This whole story is ridiculous. I feel for you and your children.

amdublin

I am shocked by your story. I am sorry I have no legal advice to offer but i really hope things get sorted soon for you and your two boys (the 10 and the 16 year old) and your husband.

This is bloody serious stuff which could really impact your boy. I am ashamed of being Irish when I hear stuff like this.

Good luck sipuser.

Sultan of Bling

If you feel your child was assaulted as a result of the negligence of the board of managment of your sons school, visit this link and contact a solicitor.

http://www.injuriesboard.ie/eng/