Confused about feelings and BF

LegacyUser

Ok I am very confused at the moment. I have no idea what I feel towards my boyfriend and it worries me, we've been seeing each other since August but only really officially going out for 2/3 months or so.

But the thing is, we never really established if we were going out or not, we just kinda fell into a routiene, I consider him my boyfriend and he considers me his girlfriend so by default we're in a relationship. I'm not seeing anyone and he's not seeing anyone - I trust him on that.

I really do like him, but he has horrendous mood swings that really make me question everything about us. He has met my parents, stayed over in my house (I live with parents) and I've stayed over in his numerous times (He rents) however I have not met his parents or any of his friend which is a major red flag for me.

When we fist met it was a ONS, I was just out of a long relationship and met my bf in a nightclub. Played it cool and after a few weeks we were friends with benefits kinda thing, met up, had sex and then I'd stay over in his house. I was still seeing other men when we first met and for the first few weeks. As feelings began to grow I stopped seeing other people, he did the same.

However we encountered some problems with the pill, it caused my sex drive to disappear and made me moody/paranoid, which doesn't help in a brand new relationship. It hurt too much to have sex, but he claimed it didn't bother him that he wasn't that interested in it anyway. Ever since we don't have sex much, if not at all. Worryingly last time we attempted it - last week - he kept going soft. He's 22, I'm 21 I should add.

Which has brought me to the terrifying realisation that I have no idea what he feels for me. I have no idea what I feel for him. I'm worried that this relationship has fizzled out before it even got the chance to start. He was away all weekend and was hardly texting me, I generally let him text me first, I don't want to appear to be over bearing but it really annoyed me. yesterday he claimed he 'wanted space' so I said fine and let him at it. Havn't heard from him since then, but this has happened before a few times. Like I said mood swings.

See my problem is that one week he will be like the above, claim he needs space, won't text/doesn't want to see me. I don't push him. Other times he's always up with me, I was very sick a few weeks ago and he never left my side. I think he won't have sex with me because he's worried about hurting me, last time he made me bleed. But I also think he may not fancy me. And I'm worried that I may be getting in too deep with someone who does not feel the same.

I'm thinking if I just ask him what he thinks of me, and ask him outright if he fancies me or not. if he says he doesn't then I will leave, what's the point in me staying in a relationship with someone if he doesn't like me.

can anyone give me any thoughts on this? I apologise for the essay but this has been annoying me for a while.

Miss Fluff

Confused1234 wrote: »

I think he won't have sex with me because he's worried about hurting me, last time he made me bleed.

Off topic here OP but have you spoken to your GP about this? I recommend you do so as a matter of priority. Do you attend for regular smear tests?

LegacyUser

Yes I have gone to GP with it, she changed the pill brand that I'm on, only started my first break there, havn't noticed much difference at all really, I have absolutly no sex drive at all at the moment its annoying. I may look into getting the bar