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Have you ever fallen in love?!! How?!!

  • 27-02-2012 8:57pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi! I am a bloke in my mid thirties. I am single and like many people happy enough.
    I have led a very productive life so far: lots of college: degree, diploma, Post-Grad, very busy job, mad keen on travel, love exercise and sport.

    I have met, dated and seen a fair few girls over the years. My longest relationship lasted 7 months.
    Generally I get to the stage where I just see the girl as a friend, and we end things relatively amicably.
    I have had crushes on girls and feelings for them, but never too heavy or intense... I am always happy to go back to my single life.
    I have OCD & generalised anxiety which I am receiving treatment for which I have made great headway on over the last few years. Have had it most of my adult life!

    But I dont think I have ever fallen in love with a girl...I thought I was not giving relationships a chance...so the last 2 relationships, I really tried to give them a chance, but just didnt have feelings for either girl. When we ended them, I felt mild disappointment but found it easy enough t move on.

    So have you fallen in love?
    Did it lead to a relationship, marriage, kids etc?!
    If so what happens: is it a slow burning thing or a quite instant chemistry which develops from a spark/attraction.

    I am quite happy, but just a conversation with a mate of mine got me thinking.

    I appreciate your feedback!


Comments

  • #2
    Bullchomper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 365 ✭✭Bullchomper


    Generally speaking the fireworks attributed to that "falling in love" feelings is actually a combination of memory and fluctuations in neural chemistry. This generally dies down after 4-5 years, so although it is something that keeps people, literally addicted, to each other in the first few years, it takes a lot more for the long haul. I wouldn't worry to much about not getting swept off your feet, but a few questions: How easy do you find it to interpret someone else's mood or intentions? Have you ever felt connected to someone, not even boy/girl wise, like a friend or family member? Do you rather spending time on your own, or with others? Love is a tricky business IMO, but there are many different types of it and someone else's experience of it will be probably be different from yours.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    In my own experience, it is usually when someone you meet quite casually (through work or friends) suddenly invades your normal day-to-day thoughts.

    You can't wait to see them and your stomach does somersaults when they walk in to the room and you feel ridiculous for feeling so doe-eyed.

    It's not something you can seek out in others, it just happens when you least expect it.

    It's a bit like watching a film that you really hope is great. You watch it, it's alright, you talk it up, but deep down you know it's not that good.

    Then you watch a film accidentally on some obscure channel at 11pm and it takes your breath away. That's my best analogy.


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