Small Town Woes

LegacyUser

Don't you just hate small towns/cities where everyone practically knows each other?

About just under two years ago, I met Girl A on a dating site. While there was no spark for a relationship, we eventually entered a friends-with-benefits style situation, where we'd meet particularly around when we both had relationships end. Fast forward to maybe a few months ago and Girl B comes along, also met through a dating site. We get on great, but she wants to take things slowly, because she doesn't want a relationship just yet, which is fine with me as I've previously rushed into them only to be hurt.

After my first date with Girl B, I was talking to Girl A and it turns out that they are friends - I genuinely had no idea, though last week I did meet up with Girl A for one last hurrah, as it were. I've come to realize that I don't want just sex anymore - I want more.

Things are progressing slowly with Girl B, but I'm enjoying the ride rather than worrying about the destination. The problem is that I feel really bad for sleeping with her friend, despite my meeting Girl A over a year before Girl B and having no idea they were in the same circle of friends. When I'm with Girl B, my morals tell me to tell her about Girl A.

I would do it, but I'm just worried that she's been hurt before through a bad breakup about 8 months ago now, so she's still feeling it somewhat, so I don't want to add to it whatsoever. I'm also worried that it would somehow damage the friendship between Girl A and Girl B, which is something I really don't want to do. Admittedly I shouldn't have met with Girl A last week, but I just thought we should give it a good send-off.

What makes it worse is neither girl comes from this small town and neither girl comes from each other's homes. Yeah, damn small towns.

Lorna123

Small Town Woes wrote: »

Don't you just hate small towns/cities where everyone practically knows each other?

About just under two years ago, I met Girl A on a dating site. While there was no spark for a relationship, we eventually entered a friends-with-benefits style situation, where we'd meet particularly around when we both had relationships end. Fast forward to maybe a few months ago and Girl B comes along, also met through a dating site. We get on great, but she wants to take things slowly, because she doesn't want a relationship just yet, which is fine with me as I've previously rushed into them only to be hurt.

After my first date with Girl B, I was talking to Girl A and it turns out that they are friends - I genuinely had no idea, though last week I did meet up with Girl A for one last hurrah, as it were. I've come to realize that I don't want just sex anymore - I want more.

Things are progressing slowly with Girl B, but I'm enjoying the ride rather than worrying about the destination. The problem is that I feel really bad for sleeping with her friend, despite my meeting Girl A over a year before Girl B and having no idea they were in the same circle of friends. When I'm with Girl B, my morals tell me to tell her about Girl A.

I would do it, but I'm just worried that she's been hurt before through a bad breakup about 8 months ago now, so she's still feeling it somewhat, so I don't want to add to it whatsoever. I'm also worried that it would somehow damage the friendship between Girl A and Girl B, which is something I really don't want to do. Admittedly I shouldn't have met with Girl A last week, but I just thought we should give it a good send-off.

What makes it worse is neither girl comes from this small town and neither girl comes from each other's homes. Yeah, damn small towns.

That is so funny, you are a scream. If I were you I would break up entirely with Girl A if it is Girl B that you are interested in. Then should Girl B get to know about Girl A just say it is over and was in the past. Best of luck.

ihsb

My advice would be to severe your relationship with girl A and come clean to girl B about A. She might be upset (and you may lose her) but the fact is that she should be pleased by your honesty and also reassured by the fact that you have finished everything with A. Answer all her questions and make her realise that it is her you are interested in having something special with.

The worst thing that could happen is if you and B got serious and then she found out about A and you hadn't told her.

LegacyUser

I have cut contact with Girl A now and have no interest in meeting her in that way again - think she is feeling the same too and know I should tell Girl B, but I'm petrified that if I do, not only will things stop completely, but she'd be hurt. It's just so unfortunate that it's gone that way especially because I'm starting to like Girl B a lot.

ihsb

Small Town Woes wrote: »

I have cut contact with Girl A now and have no interest in meeting her in that way again - think she is feeling the same too and know I should tell Girl B, but I'm petrified that if I do, not only will things stop completely, but she'd be hurt. It's just so unfortunate that it's gone that way especially because I'm starting to like Girl B a lot.

Trust me, having been girl B before, the with-holding of information will be seen as a lie and that will hurt more than being told straight off. Even if you lose her she will respect you more for it. If she finds out later then that trust will be completely gone and really hard to get trust back in a relationship.