WEE,D ON MY LAWN

denballs

I just heard the gate.....walked out to see who,s there
a girl was on her knees in my garden......
I was like wtf so went to get sum1 from living room and say wats this about.....they look....and yep...she PEE,D ON MY LAWN!

I wouldnt mind.....but she was a crappy ould thing....

Save yer from watering it next week!
If she drank enough alcohol, it'll grow half cut and save you from mowing it!

Washington Irving

Nice. At first, I thought this was gonna be about growing marijuana on your lawn

denballs

If only she,d been fit....id have never said another bad word about the country....delivery drunk girls to my garden with their pants down at 2am.......but nope.....countries a joke....delivery goats

Namlub

Is your apostrophe button broken?

longshanks

,?
'

kryogen

I would certainly hope you blasted her in the face with piss?

Jesus Wept

This was a valued lawn. It really tied the garden together.

Sindri

Did you...did you....sniff it?

J. Marston

Should've gave her a boot up the hole.

denballs

J. Marston wrote: »

Should've gave her a boot up the hole.

I just couldnt bring myself to interrupt her in the erm..process.....in fact i ran away...was afraid shed look up an think i was tryin to get a cheap glance....even though..sh was in my garden ...lol..

LH Pathe

I saw you ejaculate on there. why? Cmon now.

I SEE'D ON MY LAWN

denballs

Namlub wrote: »

Is your apostrophe button broken?

I speak denballsian .....its the future adaptation of English.....dont worry ....you,ll be dead b4 its important to know

Jesus Wept

denballs wrote: »

I just couldnt bring myself to interrupt her in the erm..process.....in fact i ran away...was afraid shed look up an think i was tryin to get a cheap glance....even though..sh was in my garden ...lol..

You would have been well within your rights to oogle her and then start toeing her out of it.

denballs

Sindri wrote: »

Did you...did you....sniff it?

I lack the ability to smell .....im the nose version of deaf:mad::(

denballs

The-Rigger wrote: »

toeing her out of it.

?......?........

drunkmonkey

denballs wrote: »

I just couldnt bring myself to interrupt her in the erm..process.....in fact i ran away...was afraid shed look up an think i was tryin to get a cheap glance....even though..sh was in my garden ...

Nice Guy

denballs

Doesn't Peep!

J. Marston

denballs wrote: »

I just couldnt bring myself to interrupt her in the erm..process.....in fact i ran away...was afraid shed look up an think i was tryin to get a cheap glance....even though..sh was in my garden ...lol..

Why not? The conversation should've went like this...

Her: ''Argh! Stop looking, ya perv!

You: ''Get out of my garden.'' *Boot up the hole*

Jesus Wept

denballs wrote: »

I just couldnt bring myself to interrupt her in the erm..process.....in fact i ran away...was afraid shed look up an think i was tryin to get a cheap glance....even though..sh was in my garden ...lol..

denballs wrote: »

?......?........

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=toeing

denballs

*thinks how it wouldve gone if jennifer anniston liked pee,ing in peoples irish gardens at 2am*

*cough*

erm....wait wer wer we.....yeah SOPA...screw the goberment.......wait wrong thread......

oh ....i dont hit women.....most harsh i couldve done is throw a toilet roll at her

the_syco

Whilst she's peeing, open the door and yell out as loud as you can "STOP PISSING ON MY LAWN AND F**K OFF!". I'm sure she'll run away. Or attempt to run away, fall, and then run away.

denballs

The-Rigger wrote: »

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=toeing

thought so.....but why would i want pee on my toe......and crabs from the look of her

Jesus Wept

denballs wrote: »

thought so.....but why would i want pee on my toe......and crabs from the look of her

I take your point, it would have made for a good story all the same.

Out of curiosity, where abouts do you live?

denballs

The-Rigger wrote: »

I take your point, it would have made for a good story all the same.

Out of curiosity, where abouts do you live?

donnycarney

denballs

sorta AFK .....watchin alcatraz....but ...heres a ? 4 u guys

If you had seen a girl pee,ing in your a garden at 2am on a saturday night..what would you do?

Jesus Wept

denballs wrote: »

donnycarney

ah right, it's very common over in Donnycarney.

denballs

The-Rigger wrote: »

ah right, it's very common over in Donnycarney.

How about I rephrase that Collins Avenue........yes with an Avenue!

where d,you live?

drunkmonkey

denballs wrote: »

If you had seen a girl pee,ing in your a garden at 2am on a saturday night..what would you do?

Act a little drunk and see is she coming to the party.

cloptrop

You told the story with poetry , and i like that , probably the best thread strting post ever, you go shhhhhhhhhhhakezpeare

denballs

cloptrop wrote: »

You told the story with poetry , and i like that , probably the best thread strting post ever, you go shhhhhhhhhhhakezpeare

would you believe i was,nt even trying........im just that good:cool:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

denballs wrote: »

I just heard the gate.....walked out to see who,s there
a girl was on her knees in my garden......
I was like wtf so went to get sum1 from living room and say wats this about.....they look....and yep...she PEE,D ON MY LAWN!

I wouldnt mind.....but she was a crappy ould thing....

And that lawn really tied the garden together, did it not?

denballs

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

And that lawn really tied the garden together, did it not?

MOST DEFINITELY

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

And she peed on it.

Feeona

Round up should do the trick

Gordon

denballs, do you ever get a good book and ree,d on your lawn?

zenno

denballs wrote: »

I just heard the gate.....walked out to see who,s there
a girl was on her knees in my garden......
I was like wtf so went to get sum1 from living room and say wats this about.....they look....and yep...she PEE,D ON MY LAWN!

I wouldnt mind.....but she was a crappy ould thing....

Don't complain man, if i was you i would have said is there any chance you can come back later and pee as much as you can all over the lawn as it will make the grass greener and i mean really healthy green so it's a bonus. watch that spot next week and i bet you that patch she pissed on will be the healthiest part of the lawn. :pac::pac::pac: and if you get any mushrooms out of that patch it's a bonus.

Immaculate Pasta

Lovely stuff :cool:

saa

Oh denballs you're the literary version of Chris the Simpsons artist.

Abi

So som,e random m,inger pisses in his gard,en and he got, a deliver,y of goat,s.


Is that about the gist of it?

Fozzydog3

denballs wrote: »

thought so.....but why would i want pee on my toe......and crabs from the look of her

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe