First Time Driving - Bad Experiences?

hattoncracker

Hi everyone,

I am learning to drive, but due to my circumstances don't have any other driver to go with me when I go out! Took like 14 lessons in my instructors car, passed 6 EDTs and then my mother signed over her old car to me at Christmas.

I've recently driven it on my own for the first time, and it was an absolute nightmare. I'm completely put off getting back behind the wheel ever again. I drove it to college and had no one to come with me, but since I've only been living in the area a few months I got lost, and ending up out in the middle of Co Limerick, before finding somewhere I would have been comfortable turning in.

That wasn't so bad but by the time I was leaving college I was so stressed and upset about getting behind the wheel again that felt sick, cut out everywhere, stalled in the middle of a roundabout after I had moved off and nearly had an accident, and got lost on the way home again! I live in Limerick City and on the way home, once I got to somewhere I was familiar with I was so much calmer, but the traffic was really heavy all the way.

My instructor (and the financial cost) is putting pressure on me to improve, even though I'm not ready to be out on the roads in an unfamiliar area of the country and I get so worried about not having anyone with me.

Any advice here as to how to calm down? And does anyone else have any horror stories about learning to drive that will make me feel like less of a complete failure?

macroman

To put it simple you need to get more miles under your belt to increase your confidence. Going out unaccompanied not only has the legal aspects, but can turn into a nightmare if something unexpected happens.

starlit

Could you ask your mam to accompany you while you visit back home at weekends until you get more comfortable driving to a few places on your own? It can be quiet daunting and if you feel you aren't comfortable or confident in driving on your own best to have someone with you.

Could you ask someone from college, a friend or family member or ask someone you know like a neighbour say or someone else you know who could take you for practise sessions around town. Even just someone to be with you while you drive to college, having someone with you be more of a security blanket for you. Surely there is someone you could ask someone living near you or a friend/classmate if they needed a lift to college?

Its really the town driving that will stand too you when preparing for your driving test. There is a reason for an accompany driver like! To guide and help you in every way possible with your driving but not necessary tell you how to drive, you've your instructor for that but your accompany driver just be there so you can practise safely and confidently.

If you felt panicky and not confident enough maybe try and have someone with you while you are driving in your car at least. Its a lot of pressure to take on, driving on your own when learning.

The main thing is to get past your fear its the only way to build up confidence behind the wheel other than consistent driving practise and built up a fair bit of driving experience. It really all comes with experience and practise alone with confidence too. You are only learning yet so don't expect that you be a pro at first attempt when driving out on your own. You were bount to be a little nervous.

Its perfectly normal to stall. If you managed to get out of it and keep going you are learning from your mistakes. I've been learning three years, but properly learnt to drive within the last seven months, I still stall the car but perhaps not as frequent but I just move on and not make a fuss of it. I think if you understand the controls enough and practise them you get there. Have you tried practising getting to biting point and moving off outside the place you live? Do a few brief stints, stopping and starting, that might help you practise and not worry too much about stalling. What about it keep going!

The nerves will settle down after a while. It takes a bit of time, practise and experience to get rid of the nerves. Deep breathing is handy to keep calm. Take each step at a time in this case route/road. Try not to panic and be prepared for anything. You need to be able to handle anything when it comes to driving. Keep the chin up and the head down (obviously keep the eyes on the road and know where you are going, observation, anticipation, dealing with hazards, stopping on time and using your mirrors is important) while learning to drive. Think before you act, expect the unexpected so be prepared for what ever happens and deal with its safely and as best you can. Stay safe, happy motoring!

Best of luck OP

hattoncracker

I don't have one family member within a hundred miles of here, and I don't go home on weekends coz I work.. And my boyfriend can't drive either. Im pretty much on my own. I always have my l plates up so people know im a learner and I hope that they'll keep back from me but it almost never happens. Im trying my best, but im starting to loose heart.

DriversEd

hi OP,
forgive me for being hard on you, but your not ready to be on the road, and are a danger to other road users and yourself! so don't go out on your own. and its only destroying your confidence, which will be hard to re-build. wait till you have the experience and miles under your belt. use public transport or whatever you used previously to get around for the time being. this will stand to you in the future as you'll not have the bad experiences that need erasing from your brain, but the slower pace of learning might suit you better, leading to success with your driving at YOUR pace.

happy motoring

cris210580

hi
i must tell you is perfectly fine to feel like that...but you have to drive to gain experience....your not the only one in this situation....you have to belive in yourself that you can do it....if ur not driving u cant improve yourself......take biggggg breaths,focus on the road,dont think about the others exept you and your car and youll be fine..u get lost once will not happen again...
trust yourself more
take care and god luck

hattoncracker

DriversEd wrote: »

hi OP,
forgive me for being hard on you, but your not ready to be on the road, and are a danger to other road users and yourself! so don't go out on your own. and its only destroying your confidence, which will be hard to re-build. wait till you have the experience and miles under your belt. use public transport or whatever you used previously to get around for the time being. this will stand to you in the future as you'll not have the bad experiences that need erasing from your brain, but the slower pace of learning might suit you better, leading to success with your driving at YOUR pace.

happy motoring

I am using public transport, I have no other time to go out legally in the car unless I have my instructor with me which leaves me in a very costly situation, plus he's getting pissy at me because I'm not progressing.

I WANT to learn, I'm not actually that bad, it's just if I'm in heavy traffic I panic, and I do agree with you that this has negative connotations but I literally have no one to go with me. I won't be driving to college again for a while that's for damn sure!! But I'm just so frustrated with it now at this stage, I went driving on Sunday and I was fine, didn't conk out once, so I was quite proud! I can avoid heavy traffic, but I am just so worried about getting caught with no licenced driver that it's making me even more nervous.

surime

Hi OP. I've been through this few months ago. Well, not exactly, but if I listened to my smart instructor I would be in trouble. I, the same as you don't have anybody to drive with me as my boyfriend doesn't have license yet (unfortunately :rolleyes:) and my family is far away.
So I've saved some money (a lot) to pay for driving lessons, but maybe I wasnt very fast learner and I still didnt feel much confident on the road -BUT regardless my instructor was encouraging me to drive on my own. He was REALLY making me feel like a coward when I was saying I don't feel ready yet etc. This put me into much stress as I was feeling guilty for a stupid reason of not doing any practice when the fact it, this is dangerous and illegal!
So, just don't do this to yourself! Take one lesson per week if you can and drive maybe just only to local shop, on the route you know well, without any roundabouts/hill starts etc.
Just be patience and you will get confidence slowly.
Good luck

ps: and yes, there was a few nightmare, horror situations with people aggressively beeping at me from behind, with stalling and so on and then I thought -ok, this is crazy I am not driving until I won't stall, or be able to move off quickly!