Life = not fun

whiteblueman

won't bore ya with the details but at the moment I am seriously disillusioned.

owe too much money, have a job which is miserable, no sex life with mrs and even if we do it is so boring, everything is an ordeal (housework, work, looking after the rental properties)

what does someone do

aidan24326

You'd need to give a bit more info. I mean why is everything gone so boring with your wife? How long have ye been together? Are there kids involved? I'm assuming things must have been a good deal better in the bedroom at some point since ye chose to get married?

If the fun is gone completely out of your marriage that will make everything else seem so humdrum aswell, because when you leave your miserable job to go home you've nothing much to look forward to there either. I'd start with taking a serious look at your marriage situation first and why that's gone so stale.

Miss Fluff

whiteblueman wrote: »

no sex life with mrs and even if we do it is so boring

What steps have you taken to spice things up?

LegacyUser

As an 11 year old, I said something similar to my teacher, and she retorted "Only boring people are ever bored". Put me back in my box, & I've made efforts to never be bored (boring) since!

woodsocks i have deleted your post

please keep replies in this forum helpful and on topic and refer to the charter

thanks

Old Perry

aidan24326 wrote: »

You'd need to give a bit more info. I mean why is everything gone so boring with your wife? How long have ye been together? Are there kids involved? I'm assuming things must have been a good deal better in the bedroom at some point since ye chose to get married?

If the fun is gone completely out of your marriage that will make everything else seem so humdrum aswell, because when you leave your miserable job to go home you've nothing much to look forward to there either. I'd start with taking a serious look at your marriage situation first and why that's gone so stale.

Agree, need more info/reflection, if the excitement is gone from the relationship then take a look at it, however it works visa versa, if the humdrum is gone from other areas of your life you may need to reflect and realise those..... however it could be something completely different......Think seriously before making any harsh decisions or judgements that may affect you or significant others personally.

wisewords wrote: »

As an 11 year old, I said something similar to my teacher, and she retorted "Only boring people are ever bored". Put me back in my box, & I've made efforts to never be bored (boring) since!

Not completely true but wise words all the same.

whiteblueman

Thanks for the replies.

We are not married, together 7 years though and have two kids; one is 2 and the other is 6. The youngest does cause us some stress and is definately a factor, god bless him.

Re bedroom antics; i just am bored of it, she isn't exactly overly exciting and it is always a let down. When we met we tried lots of things, dogging, sex outdoors, the back entrance, everything really - we even went to a swingers place (just for voyeurism, not to participate). Now it is just one or two positions and no competition against watching football on TV.

Other matters are mainly money related, we owe around €650k for 4 properties and are struggling a bit with that. We should have a decent life cos still earn around €75k per annum but have nothing left when the mortgages are paid.

Work is a bit of a slog and it is hard to know how long it will be before i will get the bullet like others have in the workplace, so again that isnt helping.

We are both feeling sorry for ourselves really and dont know what to do. It is worrying

Dr. Manhattan

How do you think your life with your partner, in particular your sex life, is affected by the casual sexual encounters you've had with other men that you've posted about in other forums?

StillWaters

You are clearly going through a crisis OP, be it midlife, or coming to terms with your sexuality. In either case, you really need to clarify things in your own head and be fair to your partner in this.

saa

It sounds like you both have put your relationship on the back burner and may be thinking if we didn't have this debt then we'd be able to be where we want to be or it wasn't for ________, your happiness can't depend on everything going well you have to learn how to cope with the financial and emotional stress.

for most women I think its not the actual sex (i.e trying something exciting) its about feeling emotionally contented so they can be in the mood or feel some sense of renewed romance, maybe she's worrying about the future or money going to bed so its very hard to feel sexy,
You need to find a way to discover how she's feeling, work on communication try new things, do things for each other and with the family that doesn't cost money, get a routine, make plans for your financial situation as much as possible including a plan b incase you are let go because as it stands you sound like you feel powerless about the situation you are in and you don't have to do those things above but if you do nothing and drift on all the negative aspects of your life will consume all the positives.

I came from a house with issues with disability, mental illness, financial problems, no communication, no routine, no connection and I know my dad let that happen because his attitude was sure what can I do about it, listened to all that misery on the tv/radio and focused on how bad the countries situation is/was and I know he believed if he had his high paying job again everything would be fine so because he had no money he had no power to do anything but what he needed to do had nothing to do with money.

And this may be above and beyond what you're capable of doing, you may not know how to start but couples counselling could be an option and mabs.